Chapter 14 The First Year
Lara's pov
They say the first year with a baby changes someone.
Honestly, they're right.
But nobody tells you it'll be the hardest and most beautiful year of your entire life.
Two months old
I woke up at 3 AM to Ethan crying over and over.
My body was screaming at me to stay in bed. I'd gotten maybe three hours of sleep in total. My breasts hurt. My eyes burned. Everything hurt.
But before I could drag myself up, I heard footsteps in the hallway.
Damien's voice, soft and gentle, drifted through the baby monitor.
"Hey buddy, it's okay. Dada's got you."
I should've gotten up. I should've gone to help.
But I was so tired. For real, I was so completely exhausted.
I listened to Damien changing Ethan's diaper, warming a bottle, settling into the rocking chair.
"You know, when you get older, I'm gonna tell you about your mama," Damien said.
"About how strong she is. How she survived things that would've broken anyone else. You're lucky, little man.
You've got the best mama in the world."
My eyes filled with tears.
This man. This incredible, patient, selfless man.
I heard Ethan's cries quiet down as he started drinking his bottle.
"That's it. Good boy," Damien murmured.
"We'll let Mama sleep, okay? She needs it."
I fell back asleep with a smile on my face.
”
Four months old
"Come on, Ethan. Give Dada just one little smile."
I watched them from the doorway as Damien made ridiculous faces at our son.
Crossed eyes. Tongue sticking out. Fish lips.
Ethan just stared at him, those big green eyes serious and thoughtful.
"Nothing? Really? That was my best material, kid."
Damien tried again, this time making a silly noise while wiggling his fingers.
And then it happened.
Ethan smiled.
Not just any smile. A huge, gummy, beautiful smile that lit up his whole face.
Then he laughed.
Damien froze, his face breaking into the biggest grin I'd ever seen.
"Did you see that? Lara, did you see that?
He laughed!"
"I saw it," I said, wiping my eyes.
Why was I crying? It was just a laugh.
But it wasn't just a laugh.
It was proof that Ethan was happy and safe. He was loved as well.
All the things I'd been terrified that I couldn't give him.
Damien looked at me, still grinning like an idiot.
"He laughed at me. Our son laughed at me."
"Your son," I corrected without thinking.
Damien's expression softened.
"Our son," he said firmly.
And yeah. Our son.
Six months old
"Okay buddy, here comes the airplane!"
I watched Damien try to feed Ethan sweet potato puree.
Try it, I said.
Ethan grabbed the spoon, flung it across the room, and smacked his hands down in the bowl.
Sweet potatoes went everywhere.
In his hair,on his face,on Damien's shirt and on the walls.
It was everywhere.
"Well," Damien said, looking down at himself. "That went well."
I couldn't help it. I burst out laughing.
"It's not funny," Damien protested, but he was laughing too.
"It's a little funny."
Ethan, covered head to toe in orange mush, was grinning like he'd accomplished something amazing.
"I think he's proud of himself," I said.
"Of course he is. He's your son.
Overachiever from day one."
Damien scooped Ethan out of the high chair, both of them completely disgusting.
"Both of you have to bathe now," I announced.
"Both of us?"
"Damien, you have sweet potato in your ear."
He reached up, felt it, and grimaced.
"Yeah, okay. Fair point."
I watched him carry Ethan upstairs, talking to him the whole way about how "we're gonna get so clean" and "yes, that was a very impressive aim.
My heart felt so full it might burst.
This was my life now.
Messy,chaotic,exhausting and perfect.
Nine months old
I was working from home when I heard Damien shout from the living room.
"Lara! Lara, come here! Hurry!"
I ran, my heart pounding.
Was Ethan hurt? Was something wrong?
I burst into the living room to find Damien on the floor, his phone out recording.
"Watch," he whispered excitedly.
Ethan was on his stomach, up on his hands and knees.
Rocking back and forth.
"Is he—"
"Shh. Just watch."
Ethan rocked harder. Then he moved one knee forward.
Then the other.
He was crawling.
My baby was crawling.
"Oh my God," I breathed.
Damien was grinning so wide I thought his face might split.
"Come on buddy! Come to Dada!"
Ethan crawled three whole feet before face-planting into the carpet.
He looked up, surprised but not upset, then started crawling again.
I sat down hard on the couch.
"He's growing up too fast," I said.
"I know." Damien was still recording. "But look how proud of himself he is."
Ethan had reached Damien and was now trying to climb him like a tree
.
"Mama! Mama!" Ethan babbled.
It wasn't his first word. Not yet. But he was trying.
Everything was happening so fast.
Too fast.
But also exactly right.
Eleven months old
It was a Saturday morning.
Damien was playing with Ethan on the living room floor.
I was making breakfast, but I kept watching them through the doorway.
Damien had Ethan standing up, holding his hands.
"Okay buddy, you ready? You can do this."
He let go of his hands.
Ethan stood there for a second, wobbling.
Then he took a step.
Then another.
He was walking.
My baby was walking toward Damien.
Three whole steps before he fell forward into Damien's arms.
"Yes! Good job buddy! You did it!"
Damien picked him up, spinning him around.
Ethan was giggling uncontrollably.
"Dada!"
Everything stopped.
That wasn't babbling.
That was a word.
A real word to be precise.
"Dada! Dada!"
Damien froze, his eyes got wide.
He looked at me, and I could see he was trying not to cry.
"Did he just..."
"Dada!" Ethan said again, patting Damien's face.
Damien sat down on the floor, still holding Ethan.
He was crying now, not even trying to hide it.
"Yeah, buddy. I'm Dada. That's right."
He looked at me, his face full of questions and hope and fear.
"Is that... is that okay?"
My throat was so tight I could barely speak.
Because Ethan calling Damien "Dada" made it real.
And also made this family real.
Made everything we'd built together real.
"Yes," I managed to say. "It's perfect."
Damien's shoulders relaxed.
"Come here," he said, reaching for me.
I sat on the floor with them.
Ethan immediately reached for me.
"Mama!"
And then I was crying too.
Because Damien was right.
This was our son.
Not Lucas's. Not anyone else's.
Ours.
That night, after Ethan was finally asleep, I found Damien in the kitchen.
He was making tea, he backed me.
"That was quite a day," I said softly.
He turned, smiling. "Yeah. It was."
We stood there in silence for a minute.
Then I said, "I need to tell you something."
Damien set down his mug, giving me his full attention.
"I'm listening."
My heart started pounding.
This was it.
The moment I'd been terrified of for months.
The moment where I either dove in completely or kept one foot out the door forever.
I took a deep breath.
"I'm in love with you."
The words hung in the air between us.
Damien's eyes became wide.
"Not falling," I continued, my voice shaking. "Not maybe. I am completely, terrifyingly in love with you, Damien Otto."
He didn't say anything.
Just stared at me.
Oh God. Had I messed this up? Had I—
"Say it again," he whispered.
"What?"
"Say it again. Please."
I stepped closer to him.
"I love you. I love the way you are with Ethan. I love how patient you are with me. I love how you make me feel safe. I love how you never pushed me, never demanded anything, just... waited. I love you so much it scares me because I didn't think I could ever feel this way again."
Damien closed the distance between us.
His hands came up to cup my face.
"I've been in love with you for five years," he said. "Since the first time I saw you. Since before you married Lucas. Since the moment you crashed into me in your father's office wearing that yellow sundress."
"That was—"
"Seven years ago. I know. I've loved you that long."
Then he kissed me.
Deep and passionate and full of five years of wanting.
I kissed him back, my fingers tangling in his hair.
When we finally broke apart, we were both breathless.
"Marry me," Damien said suddenly.
I froze. "What?"
"Not today. Not tomorrow. But someday. When you're ready. Marry me, Lara."
My heart was racing so fast I thought it might explode.
"Damien..."
"You don't have to answer now," he said. "Just think about it. Think about us. About making this official. About being a family for real."
I looked at him.
This man who saved my life.
Who raised my son a
s his own.
Who loved me even when I was too broken to love him back.
"Ask me again in a year," I said .
Damien smiled. "I can do that."
We stood there in the kitchen, holding each other.
Outside, the world was dark and quiet.
But inside, everything was light.
Everything was right.
For the first time in my entire life, I wasn't scared of the future.
I was excited for it.