Chapter Twenty—Jace

Lidia wore a timid look on her face when she walked into my apartment. It'd been hard, but getting her to the car dealership took some work. Work I didn't mind putting in for.

"I'll text this license plate to a guy I know and have him run it. I don't think it's anything to worry about."

She kicked off her shoes and let her hair down from the uptight ponytail. "I hope not, it was just … random."

I couldn't rule out anyone following her since it'd gotten out about our engagement. The paparazzi, and these Houston college kids for school credit with their newspaper, would stoop to low levels to get details.

"What would you like for dinner?" I asked, walking toward my fridge. I knew that I didn't have anything to cook, and I wasn't going to cook it. It wasn't my forte. "You want something to drink?"

She shook her head. I could sense the unease in her tightened shoulders, and I hated it. I'd made her nervous somehow this afternoon. Maybe it was the spur of the moment purchase of a vehicle.

Or that I wanted her to let me take care of her. She hadn't felt that from a male … ever, and I wanted her to trust me, because I wanted her. I knew she didn't want my money, or gallery, and it flipped a switch in me to know it.

The girls in the past knew I had money, and I was one hundred percent sure that they wanted it. I've never thought Lidia wanted anything from me.

"Pizza and wine sound good," she said, taking a seat.

"Pizza and wine it is," I said, dialing my favorite pizza place. I ordered our food and poured us both another glass of wine. I stripped out of my over shirt, leaving me in a plain white T-shirt.

Lidia squirmed when I sat down beside her. "Thank you again for the ride. I can't believe I have a new vehicle. I've only ever had Missy."

"Missy?"

"That's my Honda's name," she said giving me a look. "I'm going to miss her.

"Keep her," I suggested. "You don't have to get rid of her."

She sighed. "My apartment complex will only allow one car per person. I don't have anywhere to keep her."

"I have three spots, take one of mine, I don't mind."

Lidia bit her bottom lip before swallowing a huge gulp of wine. I sensed her unease. "What's the matter, Lidia?" I asked, scooting closer. "What did I do wrong?"

"You didn't," she sighed. "I'm just … bad at this. I don't know what's supposed to happen next. I told you that I wanted you, Jace. I can't believe I said it, even if I was feeling it, I can't believe that this has turned into anything other than what we planned it to be."

"I understand," I said. Lidia's brow pulled down and she closed her eyes. "Stop it," I whispered, grasping her neck with my palm. "Why can't you let yourself have this? I thought taking you down there to look your past in the face would help you—"

"It did," she pleaded. "Now I'm, now I don't know myself anymore. I've been guarded for so long; I don't know how to be myself with you."

"Yes, you do," I said with a nod. "You know, Lidia. I see bits of yourself all the time. You're funny, and kind, modest but sexy without trying to be. I like those things about you. Calm down and be yourself with me. You have to see that I've let myself be me with you."

The corner of her mouth pulled up. "That was some haul over your shoulder today. I wasn't expecting that, for sure."

I nodded slowly, admiring her pouty mouth and slender neck. "I want to be that guy with you, if you'll let me, please."

I would beg if I needed to. I felt like begging, I felt like doing whatever it took to get Lidia to let me inside.

The doorbell rang. "I've got that. You want to get some napkins. We'll watch that movie you wanted to watch. Not the stripper, let's watch the other."

She rolled her eyes but got the napkins while I got the pizza. She turned on Isn't It Romantic. I hardly watched the movie, I laughed when she did because she looked happy watching it.

After devouring the pizza, Lidia sipped her wine and laid back against the seat cushion of the couch. The wine relaxed her a bit, and I loved that it had.

"See," she said pointing her glass at the screen. "It was good, right?"

I sat beside her, outstretching my legs on the floor. "Sure," I said.

"You didn't even watch it."

"I watched you watch it."

She eyed me over the top of her glass and crossed her arms. "That pizza was good. I've never eaten there before."

"It's my favorite. We'll go again someday."

Silence fell over the room, and I felt my aggravation grow with each uneasy beat of my heart. I didn't want us to confess our feelings and make everything weird.

Lidia swallowed the last of her wine and turned to face me. I met her, dropping my empty glass against the carpet, I captured her neck in my palm. "Tell me that you trust me, Lid. You're acting weird. You're the talker in this relationship and you've hardly said anything to me. Loosen up. Talk. To. Me."

I never thought I'd have to beg Lidia to talk to me … ever. Getting her to shut up was harder than getting Rebecca to dress descent for work hours.

Lidia sighed deeply; her wine infused breath hit my mouth, making my own water. Her small hands gripped the chest of my T-shirt and she looked into my dark eyes with her light ones. "I'm so nervous, Jace."

I pulled her closer by the back of her neck, meeting her mouth to mine. I would loosen her up, let her know that I wouldn't hurt her. I guided her over my hips, so that the bottom of the couch was against my back, and my head rested on the seat.

She moved her hands to grip my shoulders, and I smoothed my palms down to her ass. I kissed her deeper than I ever had, guiding her hips against mine in a rhythm that I knew wouldn't last long.

She purred into my mouth, kissing me back like a teenager in the backseat for the first time. It felt like that. Kissing her. The innocence of your first kiss, and the way you grind against each other, and slowly let out all those years of built-up frustration. A new feeling that wasn't new at all but felt like a brand-new slice of Heaven.

It felt like that.

Lidia pushed down harder on me, tangling her fingers into my hair. I didn't want to push her more than she wanted to go, even though I wanted to strip off her clothes and demolish every ounce of innocence she had left inside.

When she held onto my hair and deepened our kiss, I felt my resolve slip. I slid my palm up her shirt and toward her breast, twisting her nipple gently with my fingers.

Her lips parted and I swallowed the soft moan that came from her mouth. Lidia stalled for several seconds before she pulled back from me.

The red in her cheeks traveled down her face to her neck, where I noticed how hard she was breathing. "I—I …"

"You what?" I asked in a gravelly voice that sounded foreign to myself. "Speak, Baby Girl."

"I want to change clothes."

I swallowed the slews of why don't you take your clothes off and nodded. "Good idea," I whispered. She scurried upright, her pupils dilated and her legs shaking.

I wanted so bad to lay her down on my bed and kiss between every crevice of her body. She hurried to my bathroom and shut the door.

I groaned, knowing how hard it would be to get my dick to go down after her on top of me. I stood up slowly, running my fingers through my hair and going to my room to change into something more comfortable.

I changed into some sweatpants and stopped when the bathroom door opened. Lidia walked out in a pair of pajama shorts, her tanned legs toned and a surprisingly cute Yale T-shirt.

I couldn’t speak. She tucked her loose hair behind her ear and twisted her leg inward in a shy way. "I—I didn't mean to stop that, it was—whew—um, I just wanted to change clothes."

I nodded, my mouth parted and my eyes traveling the length of her. I imagined this is what those high school jackasses saw and tried to take advantage of her.

I wouldn't do that. I couldn’t. Lidia swayed on her feet, opening her mouth and then shutting it. "I ruined the mood, didn't I?" she asked. "I should have just stayed in my clothes," she said, covering her face. "Ugh," she said, walking backwards toward the bathroom.

She tripped over nothing—her feet I guess—and tumbled down toward the carpet. "Oh my gawd," she said. I watched as she laid all the way against the carpet and laughed at herself.

This is the Lidia I knew.

I walked over to her, watching her laugh and her shoulders shake. "I'm so awkward."

I bent down beside her, entrapping her between my arms and maneuvering my way between her legs. She stopped laughing and looked up at me.

"This is the you that I want."

"Awkward, clumsy Lidia? It doesn't take much to bring her out, ya know."

"That I do know. Now where were we?"

I lowered my mouth to hers and kissed her. She wasted no time entrapping me against her center, linking her legs behind my back, and kissing me back.

The built-up feelings I'd harbored for her bubbled up inside of me like lava. The heat from her body seeped into mine, setting my veins on fire.

I knew Lidia needed more time to do what I truly wanted to do, but I'd take as much as she would give me. Every time she moaned or groaned into my mouth, I tightened my hand against her ass, pushing her harder into me.

This was high school all over again. But I realized she missed that. Because of the jackass at the dealership, she missed the making out in the back seat of a car with a steady boyfriend.

She needed this from me. And I would gladly give it to her. Lidia squirmed against me, a plea in her kiss. I pulled my mouth away and bit a line down her neck, feeling her fingers dig into my shoulders and legs squeeze around me.

"Please," she begged. I didn't think she understood what that plea did to me. "Touch me."

We were still lying on the carpet in my room, in front of the bathroom because I couldn't force myself to move away from her to move us. "Baby," I warned.

She let out a hushed cry when I slid my palm against the top of my stomach and along the lace underwear. "Please," she whispered. I glanced up at her, the soft look in her hazel eyes pushed all my buttons.

"Lidia," I said, crawling up above her. "We have all the time in the world, you know that. I didn't tell you that today to get inside of you. I told you that because it's the truth. We do not have to do this. I know your views, and I'm not saying I can—or we will—marry you, but I can build a foundation for us. One that you can feel comfortable on before we go there."

Water built in the corners of her eyes. I wasn't sure if it was from lust or emotion. She gnawed on her bottom lip and sighed deeply. "You're right," she said.

"I appreciate you enough not to take your virginity on my bedroom floor."

She groaned and turned her face to hide it from me.

"Nah, none of that," I said, rubbing a line down her lip. "I'll do whatever you want me to, but I won't take it from you just as soon as we're starting this … officially."

Lidia nodded, her lips puffy from kissing me. "Does this mean you won't pay my student loans?"

A loud laugh erupted from me, and I dropped my head to her chest before kissing my way up to her mouth. "I'll pay off every cent of your debt, Baby Girl. Whatever you need."

She smiled sweetly. "I need a release, Jace."

My body hummed with adrenaline and my fingers went involuntarily toward her underwear when someone knocked on my front door. I groaned loudly. "Maybe they'll go away."

More frantic knocks. "God," I groaned and stood up, helping Lidia up after me. We walked into my living room. Lidia took a seat at the kitchen bar, and I opened the door.

Rebecca stood on the other side, mascara running down her face and a bag in her hand.

"What the hell," Lidia said for me.