Chapter Seventeen—Lidia

My heart hammered as Jace traced my mouth with his thumb. I'd never had a man touch me like that and I loved every second of it.

"I loved kissing you today," he said.

I lowered my gaze to my intertwined hands in my lap and tried to gather the nerve to tell him the truth. "I'd be lying if I said I didn't like it. It startled me, but … I haven't been kissed in a really long time."

"Hmm," he said with a nod. "What if I said I wanted to do it again?"

I glanced up at him. Maybe it was the closeness of our bodies, or the secret way him fighting his brother turned me on, but I couldn’t help but say, "What if I let you?"

Jace breath deep for several minutes, making me hotter than I assumed Hell was on a bad day and leaned in to put me out of my misery.

My body responded to him as if he was my next breath and I needed him to survive. I sank against the couch as he leaned over me. I'd always admired his mouth—because his mouth looked full and capable of doing ungodly things to me—and he proved my theory right.

The kiss started different from the one at the café. It was slow and steady, patient as he asked permission to search my mouth with his tongue.

When I couldn't take it anymore, I slid my palm against his shoulder and tugged on his hair. He maneuvered his way in-between my legs, until we looked like a couple of teenagers that just learned what kissing did to your body.

I breathed in his scent, memorizing the way he tasted of mint and scotch, and how he knew exactly how to suck on my bottom lip to make me squirm against him.

Being a virgin scared me most days. Or on the days like this, when I kissed a man and felt the need for him to demolish my clothes and burn me of all the innocent I had left.

Jace tore from my mouth, his eyes wild as he kissed a hot path down my neck. I felt my resolve slipping into an endless void that would end in me losing what I'd guarded most in high school.

I squeezed my thighs against his hip as he moved them against my throbbing center. I felt undone. If he'd asked me to marry him right then, I wasn't sure I would have said no.

Did the other boys I kissed make me feel like this? I was sure they didn't.

Jace's flat palm curved around the small of my waist as he dragged me toward his thrust and made his way back up to my parted mouth.

When he deepened our kiss again, his palm slid down my body and toward the curve of my bottom. With his sweats so big, his palm made their way underneath easily, his big hand hit my bare skin as he squeezed me into his palm tightly.

I moaned into his mouth knowing good well a man had never touched my panties, at least not while I was wearing them.

Jace pulled from my mouth and let out a humorless chuckle. "Damn," he whispered, his chest rising and falling quickly. "I'm sorry, no I'm not, I'm not sorry," he whispered and found his mouth back on mine.

I couldn’t think to stop him. All I could think about was how his flesh felt against mine. The more he kissed me and I squirmed against him, the more I felt him grow hard against my center, and my eyes began to blur.

This is how girls lose their virginity, and that wasn't what I wanted to happen—well, not yet. I'd worked so hard to keep it intact. "Lidia," he pulled back and whispered against my mouth. "I don't want to stop but I respect the fact that you want to wait." He groaned loudly and tightened his hands tugging at my clothes into fist and sat up, palms sliding down his face.

I stayed on my back, looking up at the ceiling for an answer. Since I already felt braver than I had ever felt, I sat up and straddled his lap.

The dilatation in Jace's eyes turned me on so bad. I knew my panties were ruined but I didn't care. The pressure against my most personal spot drew me harder onto his lap.

"I want to so bad," I whispered. "But you're right, I can't, I won't until I'm married. It turns me on to think my husband will be the only one that's seen, touched or tasted me there. Is that weird to you?"

Jace shook his head slowly, pulling me down for a deep kiss. I tried to block out the way his palm against my neck and butt made me feel.

"No," he chuckled into my mouth. "Not at all. I just wish I could be that man for you."

For a brief moment I thought he'd say the words—not that we would get married—but that he wanted this relationship to last. That he wanted to toss away his insecurities and give me his all.

Even though I knew, he liked me—and dang it if I didn't like him—we didn't love each other. And that was what I needed to take another step. And it couldn’t be with him because he didn't want to marry.

"Maybe one day," I whispered, trailing his scruffy jaw with my palm. I stood up on wobbly legs and stretched, loving that he watched my body like it was unclothed and I knew it wasn't. "I'm tired."

He stood up. "Yeah, we better get to work. You can have the bed," he said softly.

Would it hurt? Being together in a bed? Not if we didn't do it but I wasn't sure I was strong enough.

He chuckled without me saying it. "I'm not strong enough to lay beside you and not find my fingers touching something that I can only image wants me right now."

The heat in my cheeks blossomed into fire. "You're right," I said with a smile. "It does. I'll see you in the morning." I felt his eyes on me as I walked toward his bed, wishing he followed behind me.

***

After Sunday morning and I convinced Jace to take me home so I could do laundry and get my life together, I woke up Monday morning with an eager feeling to see him.

Scott gave me the third degree, asking if Jace pushed me to do anything that, I didn't want to do for thirty entire minutes. I couldn’t blame him for caring, but dang, sometimes I wanted to keep things to myself.

I took extra time braiding my hair and picking out a long white skirt and bright yellow top that made my skin pop.

Jace and Rebecca's car were both in the parking lot when I rolled in and walked toward the front door. He stood in the lobby besides Rebecca's desk staring at the opposite wall with a thoughtful look on his face.

I almost couldn't believe that he'd been in sweatpants kissing me on his couch only two nights before. The blue button-down looked yummy on him and made me want to lower my resolve even more.

"Good morning," I said, stopping beside him. "What are we looking at?"

He pointed toward the opposite wall. "That space. I want you to paint something there."

I gaped at him. "Me? As in Lidia Lambert, your fake fiancé?"

He gave me the side eye. "You," he said, pointing a finger at me. "I want you to paint something there this weekend. I want something … bright," he said.

I snorted. "My kiss must be magical," I said. "Color, Jace Archer?" I reached up on my tiptoes to check his forehead for a fever. "No fever, it must be my kiss."

He reached around and pinched my butt, leaning over to kiss me softly. It felt odd to do this in public without an audience, but I didn't question it. I swam in it.

Jace stayed back and did his Monday morning check of the office while I made my way upstairs to mine.

Rebecca's stood near my desk with her back to me as I entered. She turned quickly, a look of shame on her face. "What are you doing?" I asked.

She pointed toward the coffee on my desk. "Dropping off your coffee. Duh." She rolled her eyes. She stalked past me in her sky-high heels and turned to face me. "You know, I don't see what he sees in you."

I dropped off my purse and glared at her. "Funny. Because I totally see what he doesn't see in you?"

Rebecca snarled and marched down the stairs to the lobby. I sat down with a sigh and opened up my email, going through them quickly to see which where urgent.

Jace made his way up with croissants and bagels around nine-thirty and a smile. It was a drastic change from the first week of work here.

Jace looked happy. I wanted to say I was the reason, but I wasn't sure. I took a bagel and devoured it. "Thanks for breakfast," I said.

Jace swiveled his chair over toward mine and leaned over my desk. "We have a party to attend this Friday," he said.

"A party?" I asked. "Like a dancing party?"

He chuckled. "Yeah, if you want to dance, sure. Do you dance?" he asked.

I brushed off my shoulder. "You're looking at the Dancing Queen right here, buddy. You just wait, I'll have you wanting to marry me yet."

I don't know why I said that, but I regretted it. I bit my lower lip and lowered my gaze to my screen. Me and my big mouth. I think I'll name her Gabby.

Jace lifted a dark brow, his eyes intense for a few moments before he chuckled. "Oh yeah. You in for a summer wedding, Lambert?"

I sighed in relief. "More of a fall girl myself."

Rebecca buzzed my phone. I contemplated ignoring it, but this was my job, and I needed it regardless of her snarky comments.

"Yes."

"You have visitors. Can I send them up?"

Visitors? I couldn't imagine who it could be, but then I heard my dad's voice in the background. "Tell her she isn't too important to see her parents. We brought her in this world, and we'll take her out."

I cringed at the dad joke and glanced over at Jace who looked amused. "Oh my God," I mouthed. "I haven't told them yet. I wonder if they saw the paper." I gasped, remembering the one that Jace had on the lobby table.

If they didn't know before they did now.

I stood up and started to hyperventilate. Rebecca's voice faded into the back of my conscience as I began to pace. Jace stood up and grabbed my shoulders. "Calm down, Lambert. It's fine. I can handle your parents. You've handled mine."

I began to nod but nausea churned in my stomach. "Okay," I said, mimicking a woman's labor breaths. Jace bent down and kissed me softly, momentarily erasing the fear growing in the pit of my stomach.

"Lidia Lambert," Mom's voice came from the doorway. "I taught you better than kissing your boss."

I turned to see Dad with a grimace on his face, but mom's—it surprised me—she looked relived.