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But then I was confused. I started to realize that theirs more pleasures to life that I could enjoy rather then hurting and killing- and that actually frightened me. I found happiness in the small things and it was all from her. I found pleasure in watching her concentrate with her drawing, I found pleasure in listening to her soft breathing when she sleeps next to me and overall found pleasure in her happiness.

I didn't realize where I lead myself until I was banging my fist on the black door in front of me. I stand there, shaking in nervousness before the door flies open.

Niall stands there, half awake and half dressed- looking at me in complete utter confusion.

"Styles? What are you doing here it's three in the morning." His groggy voice mumbles while he runs his hand back through his messy blonde bed head.

"Can I come in?" I clear my throat while standing here like an imbecile.

"Yeah of course." He rubs his eyes and opens the door, inviting me in. I walk in with my hands in my sweater pockets, hearing Niall shut the door behind me. I've never been in Niall flat before, it's pretty bare- but still nice.

"Is everything okay? You never show up here." He asks while still trying to wake up. His shirt is missing from his pale body and his black track pants stay tightly tied around his waist.

"Uhm- I know, I'm sorry. I just didn't know where to go an I ended up here." I shake my head while keeping my sweaty hands in my pocket. I don't know what made me show up at Niall's place compared to Louis and Liam's- maybe because I knew Niall wouldn't be pissed for waking him this late.

"Okay.. but I still don't know why you're here." He says while crossing his arms.

"I don't really know either to be honest." I shake my head, feeling very out of my comfort zone by even talking like this to him.

"Do you wanna sit?" Niall asks while nodding his head at the couch.

"No- I'm fine." I mumble while pacing back and forth. Niall sits on the arm rest of the chair- watching me move around the room through his puffy tired eyes.

"Okay Styles seriously, whats wrong?" He says in concern while keeping his arms folded against his body.

"I sliced her throat Niall." Is all that I spit out through my jumbled thoughts, pacing like a mad man.

He immediately widens his sleep deprived eyes and stands to his feet.

"You killed her!" He says in utter shock.

Maybe I didn't word that correctly.

"In my dream, yeah." I restate, making him release the breath he was holding.

"Jesus Christ you should have fucking started with that!" He says in a pisses tone before siting back on the arm rest.

"Sorry-" I shake my head and keep pacing. What the fuck am I even doing here? Niall doesn't give a shit about this.

"Okay so you killed Amelia in your dream? So what." He shrugs like it's no big deal.

"No I didn't just kill Amelia- I killed my pregnant wife and mother of my four year old son. I didn't even realize it. One moment I was laughing and holding my fucking child and the next thing I know Amelia had blood pouring from her throat and their was a knife in my blood drenched hands." I explain in more detail, causing him to widen his eyes again. Niall shakes his head slightly and watches me pace back in forth.

My lip ring stays between my thumb and my index finger, fiddling with it by habit.

"Woah- that's heavy man." His raspy accent mumbles.

"I know- fuck I know," I begin. "I had a fucking family with this girl." I spit in confusion.

"What do you think it means?" He says. I shake my head and keep banging my boots up and down the hardwood floors.

"That I'm a psycho." I answer.

"Do you want to hurt her?" He asks, ignoring my statement.

"No." I don't hesitate.

"Are you sure?"

"Yes I'm fucking sure. I don't want to hurt her but I'm afraid that one day I will." I mumble.

"Well you obviously see a future with this girl." He states, making me look at him in question.

"What? Why do you think that?" I say in confusion and a bit of my guard up.

"You said one day." He forms his lips into a line and nods his head while he answers.

I stop in my tracks and take in what he just said. I did say one day...

He looks at me with a small grin and I instantly hate it.

"Well fuck whatever. I definitely don't want that future!" I solidly state.

"The part that you kill her?" He asks.

"All of it. The kids, the house, everything." I say clearly.

"Is that why you're all freaked out? Because you don't want kids?" He arches his brow and questions.

"Kinda yeah. This dream was so fucking real and it was like my life completely changed. I had the perfect fucking happy life but in a blink it all changed back to my regular one- the one where I kill everyone around me." I pinch my eyes shut and try to explain my dream to him.

"It was just a dream- it's not like you're getting married tomorrow. Like does Amelia even want children one day?" He asks.

"Well I mean I never asked her, but probably. She's a normal traditional girl Niall- she's not all fucked up like the rest of us down here." I explain.

"That's probably what your dream is telling you then. She's different Harry, you said it yourself- she's not like us. I'm guessing by the way you're acting that this is the first girl in your life that you have actual feelings towards. So you're confused with yourself and what you want. I mean you guys are literally polar opposites." He tries to explain, and actually making sense.

"She's so pure Niall- an actual fucking angel." I say with complete seriousness. It wouldn't surprise me if somehow she turned out to be an angel- if they existed anyway.

"Yeah and you're the anti christ." He quickly states with humour in his voice.

I chuckle and shake my head while stopping my pacing, trying to take a deep breath.

"I don't know what to do." I mumble and throw my hands back in my hoodie pockets.

"Go back home and pretend like nothing happened. Does she know you're here?" He asks.

"Here, no. But she watched me storm out." I murmur.

"Well in my opinion, I don't think you should tell her about your dream. You're just going to add unneeded pressure and awkwardness. For all you know she might not even want kids and shit. Plus do you really think you'll be with her that long?" He explains.

"Well... I don't know. You know I don't like to think that far ahead." I mumble.

He widens his eyes and looks a bit taken back.

"Oh. I didn't realize you were this serious with her Styles... I mean you abducted the girl and I'm sure you haven't told her many things." He trails his voice out a bit.

"Yeah, I'm aware." I murmur while feeling my palms sweat in nervousness by just thinking about it.

"Harry.. you don't love her right?" He mumbles, actually saying my name this time.

I feel an overwhelming draft run up my spin and my feet run cold in my shoes. The lump in my throat grows and my hands coat in sweat while their buried in my sweater pockets, clenched into fists. I feel like I'm holding a thousand pounds on m shoulders.

"She's Adrian's sister." My voice breaks mid sentence- feeling hitched.

"I know who she is. I'm asking if you love her." He restates, trying to get a straight answer out of me.

"N-no, no of course not." I answer shake my head.

He looks at me blankly for a second, blinking a few times before nodding.

"Well just be careful Styles.. you seem to have gotten yourself into some shitshow. Don't worry about the dream- it doesn't change anything in reality so I'd just pretend like nothing happened. You don't want to freak her out." He explains while standing up to his feet, stretching his arms.

"Niall I don't love her." I repeat, feeling like he didn't believe me the first time.

"Harry it's none of my business. You don't need to explain yourself." He nods while walking towards the small kitchen. "You want a beer? I'm awake now so..." He says while walking to the fridge.

He's right. What the fuck am I trying to prove to him?

"No I'm fine. I'm um..going to go back now." I mumble before turning towards the door.

"Okay- well I'll see you in a few hours." He looks at the clock while grabbing a beer from the fridge.

I nod and walk toward the door, opening it up but stopping in the doorway. I turn my head back to Niall cracking open the bottle with his hands.

"Thanks Niall." I mumble.

He looks up from the counter top as nods.

"Anytime mate." He chuckles like it's not a big deal. I never really realized how much of a good person he is to talk to. I guess I never really knew because I don't talk... especially about this.

I shut the door and walk away- trying to process everything in my deranged head.