Chapter 46

Fat tears rolled down my face as I watched the large phoenix transform into a woman, I knew too well yet looked so different. With hair as white as snow and a flawless skin that looked sun-kissed and eyes as dark as the night. I watched as she got clothed in the finest drapes of cloth whiles our gaze met and held. The warm smile on her face had my wolf howling in my head for the first time in ages and that was when it crossed my mind to check her neck for our mating mark.

I wasn’t really surprised when I set my sights on the unmarked skin of her flawless neck even though it broke my already fragile heart and had my poor wolf whimpering in the back of my mind. The tears didn’t stop when she shifted a little to reveal a little boy who had been hiding behind her. My knees gave out and I landed on my knees with a hard thud because the little boy who stood regal with a cute scowl on his face with his jet-black hair in a little man bun, with no shirt on and low riding leather pants looked like an exact replica of me.

I didn’t need anyone to tell me that, that little boy was my flesh and blood. My very own son. I was so focused on watching my mate and son that I didn’t notice the gasps and murmurs that were going around. I watched my little boy with awe and profound sadness. He grew up without me and it was now that I understood Kiara’s statement from before.

‘Three weeks is a very long time for my people’

A very long time indeed seeing as my soon looked like a five-year-old boy. I lost five years of his life in just three weeks. How could I possibly make up for that?

With a shaky breath, I stood back up on my feet and shakily took steps towards them. I was halfway there when I realized they were also making their way towards me. That little act rekindled some of the lost hope inside of me. It must definitely mean something.

When we were within arm’s reach of each other, I scooped my son into my arms. He struggled but I didn’t let go. I held him till he calmed down and allowed me to cuddle him to my chest. Warmth blossomed in my chest when his little hand wrapped itself around my neck as he buried his face into my neck. A sob wrecked through my body when I saw Chaos looking at us with a sad broken smile. I took the final steps forward before wrapping my free arm around her too.

‘I am so sorry… I am so sorry’ I whispered as brokenly as I felt.

In the middle of the yard, I held my new-found family as tight as I could as a portion of my darkened and despaired soul repaired itself. I don’t know how long we stood there locked up this emotional embrace until a shadow fell on us. I lifted my head to find King Chaos smiling sadly down on us. I didn’t care that I was an alpha male that had just been reduced to a sobbing mess or that all the people here have just been witnesses to my breakdown. My dead mate is practically alive and I just found out I have a five-year-old son.

I am allowed to release my emotions in whatever kind and manner I saw fit. He whispered something to Chaos in their realm tongue and at her nod, the chanting started again. I held on tightly to them just in case this was just an illusion. A figment of my imagination and they would disappear. My heart thumped hard with fear. Squeezing my eyes tight, I cradled my new-found family firmly to my bosom till the chant stopped before letting out a breath of relief seeing as they were still in my arms. I have never been this scared in my entire life and I am certain each and every one in this yard realised it.

As soon as the chant ceased totally, I grabbed my mate and hightailed it out of there and straight into the house without so much as a backwards glance. I only stopped when we were safely locked in the room. I led Chaos to her old bed and after sitting her down, I carefully set our son down beside her before kneeling in front of them. I looked from one face to the other not knowing where to start.

I opened and closed my mouth several times before giving up completely. The amusement dancing in my mate and son’s eyes was my undoing. Clearing my throat, I asked in a hoarse voice;

“When? how?... what’s his name?” Chaos let out a chuckle before replying,

“Easy there wolfy… one question at a time”

“You can’t blame me though so please say something”

“I was pregnant before I was murdered”

My eyes quickly went to my son and surprise, surprise he actually rolled his eyes at me. At my gasp, Chaos turned in our direction before letting out a subtle laugh.

“He already knows everything” she said as a way of explaining

I swallowed hard at the thought of my son knowing all about death at such an early age.

“What’s his name?” I questioned softly with my gaze still locked on his

“Xavier. Xavier Sebastian River”

“Xavier.” I repeated and watched my son try to downplay his joy by rolling his eyes yet again even though they did nothing to hide the joy sparkling in his eyes.

“Papa” he whispered smugly

My eyes nearly fell out of their sockets because the last thing I ever expected to hear was him acknowledging me as his father seeing as he knew everything that happened prior to his birth.

The word ‘papa’ from his lips sent a certain type of warmth through my entire being and blossomed in my heart. I felt like I was on cloud nine and my wolf agrees if the way he was yipping at the back of my mind was any indication.

“Close your mouth papa… you wouldn’t want to swallow flies, right?” he said cockily and proceeded to ‘help’ me close my mouth by pushing my dropped jaws together.

The shock that I was feeling must have been written on my face because the sneaky twat burst into laughter with his mother right behind him. I really cannot believe this two.

‘I have really got my hands full with this kid’ I thought as a soft laugh escaped me whiles watching the two miscreants try to rein in their laughter but it only made things worse when they burst into bouts of laughter seconds after declaring they were done laughing. The nerve of this two.

When they were finally under control, we plunged into a conversation. Mainly getting to know my son and deliberately ignoring the huge elephant in the room but I am thankful all the same.

The only thing I can do is squeeze this moment for as long as I can before all hell breaks loose and I know it will definitely break loose. It was only a matter of time.