Chapter 187 187

Chapter 187 187
MATVEY

24 HOURS LATER

I blink awake to an odd combination of smells: antiseptic wound dressing and croissants.

Specifically, fresh croissants. Straight from the French bakery around the corner.

It wouldn’t usually be enough to rouse me, but I’ve had one hell of a weekend. “Save me a plain one,” I grumble.

“Trust me, no one’s lining up to steal that.”

Petra. What a celestial voice to wake up to. “Where’s April?”

“Hwen pho geph mophee.”

“Right. Thanks for clarifying.”

She swallows her gigantic bite. Grisha hasn’t been here fifty seconds, and she’s already wolfed down one—no, two chocolate croissants. “I said she went to get coffee,” she clarifies. Then she reaches for a third pastry.

“Enough, you jackal. Leave some for my girlfriend.”

Petra arches a brow. “That depends on how long she’s planning to be gone.”

“I’m here!” April rushes in, May in tow. “Any cream puffs?”

“I wouldn’t hang you out to dry.” Grisha smiles, handing over a separate paper bag. Talk about preferential treatment.

I snatch my breakfast before the Cookie Monster can inhale that, too. “How long was I asleep?”

“Not long,” April answers. “Just under an hour. You should grab some more rest.”

“I’m fine.”

“You’re not. Also, stop scratching your arm.”

I scowl, but I let my hand fall to my side. “Don’t you have a baby to fuss over?”

“Actually,” she sighs, “sometimes, I think I have two.”

“What’s that supposed to mean?” I ask with a frown.

“Nothing. Nothing at all.”

“Really? ‘Cause it sounded a lot like sarcasm.”

“I don’t know what you’re talking ab —”

“Is there any left for me?”

Our heads turn in unison.

“Yuri!” Petra rushes over to the bed. “How are you feeling?”

Yuri stirs. He squeezes his eyes against the fluorescent hospital lights. Between surgery and recovery, he’s been out a whole day. “Hungry,” he replies.

“Nice try,” she deadpans. “You’re on a hospital food diet for the next three weeks, you fuckhead.”

“It’s good to see you, too.”

She punches him on the shoulder. His good shoulder, but I can’t imagine it doesn’t still hurt. “Stop wasting your breath on fucking jokes of all things.

Your left lung almost collapsed.”

“What if it wasn’t a joke?” His voice dips lower, softer. “I am glad to see you. I didn’t think I’d get the chance again.”

“Oh, shut up,” Petra growls, but her eyes are shiny now. “And don’t you ever scare me like that again. You almost lost two pints of blood! They wouldn’t even let me donate!”

“Because you’re pregnant,” April points out.

“So what? It’s my choice!”

“Now, now,” Grisha tries to placate her. “It all turned out fine in the end, didn’t it?”

“No thanks to him,” she hisses in Yuri’s direction. “I swear, it’s like he was trying to make me into a single mother.”

“Is her bedside manner always like this?” April whispers to me.

“I wouldn’t know,” I mutter back. “Never had the misfortune.”

“I’ll clear my calendar if you get shot,” Petra offers.

My lips twitch. Truth is, I did get shot, but it didn’t matter. Because I had someone looking out for me.

I glance down at my jacket. I haven’t had time to change—we all came straight here. The bullet hole is still there, blinking back at me from the special fabric April’s team created. An invisible, everyday armor.

Well, everyday for me. I doubt shop clerks out there are spending their days in three-piece suits, especially ones with this price tag. But I understand April’s been thinking of expanding the scope. Already, her mind is on the next big thing. So who knows what the future might hold?

“Matvey.” Yuri’s voice snaps me out of my thoughts. “Can we talk?”

“You shouldn’t be exerting yourself right now. Rest. We’ll talk later.”

“No, I…” he shakes his head. “I need to say this. I feel like I won’t be able to sleep until I do.”

I look at him. Once, he wouldn’t have dared to contradict a direct order from me. But this isn’t the same Yuri I met two days ago, a week ago, or even a year ago. This is someone else—someone new. And this someone isn’t going to take no for an answer.

“Alright. Speak.”

He gives a small, grateful nod. “When I found out we weren’t…” He trails off. He doesn’t need to finish that sentence—we all know what lies at the end. “I was scared. I thought that would be the end of us. That if it came out, we would… that you would…”

“I know,” I say. “I know.”

“But in the end, I just turned it into a self-fulfilling prophecy. My fears, my guilt—it all got away from me so fast. I wanted to dig myself out and didn’t know how to do it. So I just kept digging myself deeper down.”

“You thought it was necessary.”

“No. I told myself it was.” He looks at me then, eyes bright and open. For a second, he’s the scrawny kid I found in the snow. “But I should’ve talked to you. I should’ve risked it. If I had, then maybe…”

The worst part is, I can’t fill in the rest of that sentence, because I just don’t know. If he’d told me, what would I have done?

I know I wouldn’t have had him killed. I know I probably would’ve kept him in the higher-ups of my Bratva on his practical value alone. What I don’t know is everything else.

Would I have kept thinking of him as a brother? As family?

Would I have trusted him again?

I don’t know. Because the truth is, Yuri isn’t the only one who walked out of that warehouse a different man. And if I’m being honest, I was already someone else when I walked in.

Because the woman I love deserved better than that man.

She deserved the world.

And she deserves it still.

“Can you ever forgive me?” Yuri asks in the end. “Can we ever go back to the way things were?”

I sit on the edge of the bed. “You lied to me, Yura.”

“I know.”

“For months.”

“I know. I’m sorry.”

“You kidnapped my woman and child and almost cost them their lives. You trusted the wrong person because you couldn’t bring yourself to trust me. Hell, you didn’t even trust Petra with the truth.”

“I’m so sorry,” he croaks. “I understand if you don’t want anything to do with me after this. I’ll accept any punishment. I’ll —”

“I’m not done.”

Yuri falls silent. Everyone in the room has their gazes fixed on me, even May.