Chapter 182 182
Chapter 182 182
And he never wanted to see you fall.
I’m snapped out of my thoughts by Yuri charging again. He feints to the right, but I see right through it: with one swift move, I slam my elbow into his forearm and knock him back.
He almost drops the knife—almost. “You’re going to get them killed,” he snarls, barely audible.
“Carmine’s never going to honor the terms, Yuri.” I lunge, but he side-steps. “You might have been blinded by his promises, but I never was.”
“He will,” he counters with a slash aimed at my throat. “If he’s got nothing to gain and everything to lose, he will.”
“He’s a snake.” I dodge just in time, earning another superficial cut across my cheekbone. Any higher, and my eye would’ve been gouged out. “He left both our mothers to die. You really think that’s a coincidence? That wherever he goes, whatever ties he has, they all meet bloody ends?”
“He didn’t make them sick, Matvey.”
“No. But he sure as hell didn’t save them.”
I sweep his leg out from under him, sending him sprawled on his back on the dirty floor. He cries out in pain, the breath knocked right out of his lungs.
I could end it right here, but I don’t. “Get up,” I order. “I’m not done talking to you.”
He does as he’s told. “You’ll regret this,” he warns, wiping a bloody streak across his mouth.
I look at him. The man who was my brother. The boy who was alone, just him and snow and death.
“I know.”
Then we clash again in the middle of the arena.
“Think,” I hiss. “Think of everything he’s done.” I twist my knife to disarm him, but he holds on tight.
“This is pointless,” Yuri says. “What’s done is done.”
“This is the truth! He didn’t kill me then, and he regretted that. Do you really believe he’ll stop at me? That he won’t clean up all loose ends? April.
May —”
“Shut up.”
“—Petra—”
“Shut up.”
“—You.”
“THEN WHAT AM I SUPPOSED TO DO?!”
It’s the roar of a wounded animal. It’s a howl, desperate and raw, a lone wolf’s last breath.
It’s also the best chance I’m going to get.
I grab his wrist, twist the knife out of his grip, and press my blade against his neck. “Don’t move,” I warn the room loudly. “Or else I’ll slit his throat.”
But Carmine’s men have already raised their guns.
“Are you trying to get them killed?” Yuri hisses. He tries to struggle free, but my headlock’s too strong.
“I’m trying to finish this.”
He exhales against the knife. I can feel the fight draining from him, every muscle in his body giving in. No—giving up. “Fine,” he mutters. “Do it then. Put me down.”
That’s when I remember.
“Even the most loyal dog will bite if backed into a corner.” Yuri’s voice rings clear in my memories, a ghost from a lifetime ago.
Before, I couldn’t recall my answer. But now…
“Will it?”
Now, I can hear nothing else.
“Then I’ll just have to put it down.”
My own voice echoes in my head. Haughty, arrogant—the face of pride itself.
I close my eyes.
And, finally, I listen.
“Blood is the only tie I need. The only tie we can trust.”
“Did you mean what you said? That if the child hadn’t been yours…”
“Of course. Who in their right mind would keep around someone who’s nobody to them?”
“I’m just saying, the vory matter.” “They’re not blood. That’s what matters.”
“Matvey, there’s something I need to—” “You don’t need to say anything. You’re forgiven. After all, we’re blood.”
“That’s… why you’re forgiving me?”
“You’re my blood. No one else can say that. No one in the whole world. Do you understand?”
“… I understand.”
“Blood is everything to me.”
“I’m sorry,” I murmur.
Then I let the knife clatter to the ground.
“Motya…?” Yuri whispers, confused. “What are you doing?”
“The right thing.”
He looks at me like I’ve gone insane. Maybe I have. Or maybe I just remember what it’s like to be sane after decades of obsession.
Blood.
What a stupid thing to die for.
I didn’t want to avenge my mother because she was blood—I wanted it because I loved her. Because she was important to me.
My crusade against my father was never because he betrayed some abstract primal concept—it was because he betrayed her. Because he betrayed me.
A family who used to love him.
Family. If only I’d understood before what that word truly meant.
I throw one last glance at April. The woman who changed my life—the woman who changed me.
If this has to be goodbye, let her see me go like this. Like a man and not a monster. Let her see the good in me until the end.
“Bravo!” Carmine claps. “Truly an outstanding performance. But I’m afraid it’s time for curtain call.”
I ignore him. There’s nothing he can say that will be of any worth to me now. Maybe there never was.
Instead, I turn to Yuri. “Take care of them,” I whisper. “When he kills me, take them and run. Hide them somewhere safe. Don’t you ever let him get to them, you hear me?”
“No,” Yuri stammers. “You can’t—no. Not like this.”
“Promise me, Yura.”
“Kill me! He might honor the terms then. Or—or just give me the knife! It won’t be honorable, but —”
“I can’t do that. I’ve already bested you.”
“But if you do this, then no one has won! Don’t you get it? He’ll get to decide, he —”
“That’s why I need you to promise.”
“What was that?” Carmine goes. “Sorry, can you speak up? I feel like we’re missing the end of the play here. That’s not very nice, you know.”
“Promise me,” I insist.
Yuri stares at me with wide eyes. Finally, I can see the truth in them: pain, heartbreak, guilt. All the bent and broken things I never wanted to look for.
But I was the one who put them there.
And now, it’s time to pay my debts.
“I promise,” he rasps.
It’s all I can ask for.