Chapter 22

“I’m sorry about that.” I scrub the back of my hand over my mouth and cross to the sink.

Yasmine offers me a sad smile and a pat on the arm. “Don’t be.”

Cupping my hands, I fill them with cool water. Then I tip the water into my mouth, swish it, and spit it out. Repeat. I press my cold fingers to my aching neck.

She pulls a stick of gum from her pocket and offers it to me. “Are you strong enough to walk, or would you like to rest a little longer?”

I grab the gum and jam it into my mouth. A burst of overly fruity juices washes away the last traces of after-taste from throwing up.

“I’m fine.” Biggest lie in history. “Lead the way.”

We walk another ten or fifteen minutes. Every time someone rounds a corner, my muscles coil and scream for me to flee. Yasmine pauses and ushers me into a room located near a bank of windows.

“Why did you bring her here?” A male voice. “If he finds out …”

She lets go of me and closes the door. “It’s time to get her to safety. As planned.”

Gaining my bearings, I blink a couple times. Carl—the Shade that helped me haul Michael to the Portal—hovers nearby. In the light of day, his face is more sharp angles than I noticed before. His jaw could cut ice. Deep set eyes cast shadows, making him look eternally sleepy. He has the emo slouch and don’t care stare down to an art.

“You didn’t cheer.” For some reason that feels important. “In the crowd, when I first came here.”

One dark eyebrow rises. “Do you blame me?”

“Did you know?” I stumble over a grouping of rugs covering the wooden floors in his room. “When you helped me? Did you know what Erik wanted to use me for?”

He shoves his hands deep into the pockets of his oversized coat. “All of Mónatos knows.”

“Why didn’t you say something?”

“What was I supposed to say?” I’m sure he’s shrugging, but his coat is eating his tiny frame, so I can’t totally tell. “Hey, you don’t know me from Henry, but just a mild warning here—you may want to stay clear of Erik and most of the Shades.”

He wraps an arm around Yasmine’s waist and pulls her to his side. He presses a kiss to her cheek before looking back at me. “I’m sorry. I thought the whole don’t go to Mónatos thing was common knowledge among the Shifters.”

Yasmine spins away from Carl. “Stop. We need to get Gabby out of here.”

Carl’s room is sparse compared to my mother’s. As if he still hasn’t finished moving into the place. I snatch his salt shaker off the table. It’s shaped like a half circle and fits right inside my fist. “I don’t know if you didn’t hear Erik from where you were standing, but I can’t leave.”

“Everything he told you is why you have to leave.” Yasmine puts her hands behind her back and crosses the room, soldier straight. “Unless you actually want to be his bride?”

“Gross.” I set down the salt shaker with a loud bang. “No.”

But I don’t have a choice.

“Then?” Yasmine folds her arms over her chest as Carl looks off and to the left. I’m going to take a wild guess that she wears the pants in this relationship.

“I can’t. You heard him.” I tug at the bottom of my shirt. “He’ll kill more Shifters.”

Carl works his jaw back and forth. “You’re right. If you leave, he’ll go after the Shifters. Anyone he can get his hands on.”

His confirmation hits me like a baseball bat to the gut.

Yasmine rolls her eyes. “Not helping, Carl.”

“I wasn’t finished.” Storm clouds gather behind his eyes. “And if you stay, he’ll kill all the Shifters.”

“But—”

“End game.” He crosses his arms. “Erik wants the Shifters gone. For the moment, they’re more or less protected because he can’t afford to kill people who may join his team. He’s dependent on the Shifters in that way.” Carl toes his clunky, unlaced boot on the edge of the rug. “If you go along with him, you buy them some time. But in the end, you’re signing their death certificates.”

Yasmine steps around him. “What Carl’s trying to say is, think long term.”

I blow a long stream of air out of my lips, ruffling my hair. “If I was good at long term, I wouldn’t be here to begin with.”

A curse flies from Carl’s mouth. “So stop sulking over your past, and do the right thing now.”

“There is no right thing. Only two no-win situations.”

He loses his too-cool persona for a moment, his nostrils flaring. “There’s always a right path.”

“And this from someone who joined the Shades?”

Persona back in place, he winks. “Just call me Robin Hood.”

Yasmine drops to her knees and fishes a roll of paper out from under the couch. “You two are wasting time.”

Carl ignores her. “Let’s say you stay and have a child with Erik and that child is a Shade. From that moment on, Erik has no reason to allow any male Shifter to live.”

My limbs feel heavy.

Nine months. That’s all I buy Donovan, Michael, Eugene, and Darnell. Not enough.

“Now what if your Shade child grows up and is able to reproduce with other Shades? He’ll make you have more. Once more Shades can reproduce, it’s over. After enough time, Erik won’t need any Shifter to live whatsoever.”

“But that would be so far in the future.”

His lips curl. “You’re a Shifter. You should care about all time.”

Yasmine unrolls the papers onto the kitchen table. “The sooner we get you out of here, the better. After the exchange you just had with Erik, there’s no way he’ll let you out of his sight. Not once he cools down. He’ll move you to the center. I won’t be able to help you once that happens.”

“So you have less than a minute to make up your mind.” Carl’s lips form a straight line. “No pressure.”

I cup my hand over my forehead. Try to think through every possible scenario. “What about my mother?”

“Rosa?” Yasmine rocks back. “What about her?”

She doesn’t want me. She despises me. But—“I can’t just leave her. What if … what if …” I’m hanging so tightly onto fraying wisps of hope. It’s ridiculous. Even I know that.

Yasmine relocates the salt shaker to its original position. “She’s where she wants to be.”

“But maybe she’s forgotten. Maybe if I bring her back to my dad, she’ll—”

Carl spears me with a cold look. “You haven’t been here long enough to understand so I’m going to cut you some slack, but Rosa’s bad news. She acts as Erik’s right hand. His closest confidant.”

“But—”

They exchange a look.

“What? Tell me.” Seriously. Because nothing could be worse than discovering my mother happily set me up to become a Shade germinator.

Yasmine takes a deep breath. “Rosa killed Lark.”

Oh. That’s worse. That’s so much worse.

“You’re sure? You’re absolutely sure?”

They nod in unison.

My mother killed my friend. Knees buckling, I hit hard on the wood flooring and bury my face in my hands. It feels like I lost my friend all over again. Lark didn’t have to die. She was murdered because of her connection to me. It’s my fault. An urge to cry battles with a desire to toss something breakable.

Yasmine and Carl are right. I must leave Mónatos. Erik declared war on the Shifters long ago when he injected my mother. As much as I’d like to, it’s not something I have the power to stop.

I work my trembling hands together. “Where will I go?”

Carl raises his eyebrows in the universal you’re kidding me, right? gesture. “To Keleusma. To the Shifters.”

“I can’t.” I shake my head. “They’ll never take me back.”

“They will,” Carl says.

“After what I’ve done? They won’t.”

Carl looks over at Yasmine, silently asking her to interject since I’m clearly not listening to him.

“You belong in Keleusma. You’re going to throw yourself on their mercy. They’ll take you back. I’m sure of it.” Yasmine digs a huge coat out of Carl’s closet and tosses it at me. “Put this on.”

She makes me pull up the hood and then finishes unfolding the building plans on the table. She drags her finger across a roundabout path as she explains to Carl how he’ll sneak me out.

“I can’t go with you. It’s imperative that Erik continues to trust me.” She turns to address me. “And for Carl’s safety, he must believe you did this on your own. You won’t have much of a head start, I’m afraid. He’ll come for you soon. If he’s not looking already.”

“What about you?” I reach for Yasmine as she prepares to leave the room.

“He’ll be angry that you got away, but I’ll be fine. I always am.” She holds out her hand, and Carl joins her by the door. With Yasmine’s fingers messing his hair, they kiss. “Be safe,” she whispers to him.

Then she points at me. “Take care of yourself, Gabby. And start trusting your Shifter friends. You’ll need them. The Shifters are strong, and they outnumber the Shades. Even if they’re upset with you, they’ll protect you. That’s how they work.” Yasmine slips out the door without a goodbye.

Carl crosses his arms, disappearing into his coat. “Ready?”

“I guess.”

“Keep up and keep your head down.”

I follow him out the door and mimic his slouching walk. But my mind races. The Shifters outnumber the Shades? For some reason, I thought it was the other way around. I can’t ask Carl about it because there are other Shades prowling the halls.

Why don’t the Shifters initiate battle? If there are so many of them, they could finish the Shades off once and for all. Then again, if there are more Shades like Carl and Yasmine, I wouldn’t want them harmed by the Shifters. Everything is so complicated.

Much like when Yasmine led me from Rosa’s room, Carl directs me through air shafts. At first, he takes me down deeper into Mónatos. We zigzag through the complex and then begin climbing ladders. He offers me a hand as I crawl out of a space the size of a manhole. Instead of letting go, I tug his hand until he looks me in the eye. “Didn’t Erik cloak the place? How will I get out?”

In a crouched position, Carl rocks back onto his heels. “He’s not as all-powerful as he likes to act. Don’t get me wrong, he can do a lot of impressive stuff. I mean, he’s got magic. But not like Nicholas. There are holes in what Erik’s capable of. Yasmine and I have made it our mission to discover his weaknesses.” He pulls me up the rest of the way. “So don’t worry. I’ll get you out.”

“Why are you helping me?” I brush my hands off on my pants.

We’re in a narrow, underground storage area. A light at the far end of the room blinks and buzzes, ready to go out. Boxes and musty carpet squares are piled against the wall.

He glances over his shoulder, and a pained expression mars his features. “As a Shade—our existence has no point beyond ourselves. And while living for your own enjoyment might sound wonderful, after a couple months … it’s not.”

He tests a few spots on the ceiling until he’s able to slip his fingers into a groove that unlocks a tile. Dirt showers down on us like confetti as he slides the tile out of the way. “I’ll give you a boost, and you’ll crawl all the way out. When you see light, keep going.”

“If he finds out you helped me … what will he do?”

Carl studies the spot where the wall and floor meet. “You don’t want to know.”

I grab for his arm but only catch coat fabric. “You shouldn’t get hurt because of me.”

Expelling a long breath, he scrubs his hand back and forth over his chin. “Guilt’s a heavy thing to steal.”

“What?”

“Do you have a gun to my head?” He makes a pretend gun and holds it to his cheek. “Are you forcing me to lead you out?”

“No.”

“Then if I’m caught and punished for it, that’s my deal.” He lays his hand over his chest.

“My choice. My burden. You don’t get to take that from me.” He kneels and laces his fingers together, offering his hands as a foothold. “Now or never, Wondergirl.”

Using his boost, I brace my hands on either side of the hole in the ceiling and hoist myself up into what might as well be a gopher burrow. Completely dug through the dirt, the space is three feet at its tallest and even less wide. Tree roots and a rusty pipe brush my head. A skittering centipede races over my hand. I stifle a scream.

I turn around and dangle my hand down to Carl. “I don’t know if I’m strong enough to pull you up, but I’ll try.”

He shakes his head. “This is as far as I go.”

“What will I do at the end?” Humidity clamps around my neck. What if Erik’s waiting for me? Even if he’s not, what’s my chance of lasting on my own long before he hunts me down?

“You might try … I don’t know.” Carl toes the ground. “You might ...”

“Spit it out.”

“It’s not my place to say.”

“So say it anyway.”

“Have you called out to Nicholas since coming to Mónatos?”

“I can’t. He doesn’t want to hear from me. I disobeyed.”

Just at the corners, his lips tug. “I wouldn’t be so sure of that.”

“Have you ever tried to call to him?”

“It’s too late for the likes of me. But you still can. It’s not like you became a Shade. I bet he’s waiting for you.” He rubs his hand across his forehead. “Then again, what do I know?”

“If you ever want to leave ...”

“Not possible.” He shakes his head. “Erik tracks us down if we try to escape. And even if I could, I won’t abandon Yasmine.” He rounds his shoulders a few times. “You better hurry.”

“I owe you, Robin Hood.”

“I’ll remember.” He grins and taps his forehead.

On my hands and knees, I shimmy around in the closed space until I’m pointed in the direction Carl indicated. Then I summon my courage and crawl forward into the darkness. Soft dirt packs under my fingernails. My breathing becomes shallow. No light. Hot air. Keep going. Don’t freak out. It’s difficult not to though. Humans aren’t meant to travel by way of underground bunny trails.

Ten minutes pass. Then more time. How long is this tunnel? How did it even get here? Tell me Carl and Yasmine didn’t set me up to die, buried alive in this earthen casket.

“Please?” Eyes straining against the blackness, I whisper. “I don’t deserve it, but help me.”