Chapter 38 Ancient History

Chapter 38 Ancient History
Fiona

I barely make it back to my chamber before the laughter claws up my throat. The guards close the door behind me, and I press my back to the wood, covering my mouth with both hands. I don’t dare let it out, but my shoulders shake with the effort.

Varek is definitely melting down, scrambling, and probably pulling at straws. The fear that he might just have me killed in the middle of the night passes quickly. He has a castle filling with suitors, and Liora knows him better than most. He's too stubborn to cut his losses like that. He's probably too arrogant to think he still can't make me do as he wants, but he can't risk pissing me off and letting me spill the secret.

The alpha kings want me as a breeder, but they aren't signing up for someone they have no physical or mental power over. The few who won't care likely won't play Varek's game. I bite down on my lip, finally exhaling through my nose until the giddy rush ebbs. I settle my mind. I need to use this leverage to get out of Caldara and back to Solara in a way that won't undo the ceasefire on Caldara.

It's not enough by itself, but I can use this, somehow.

I pace, turning over options. He could put me back in the tower, but he's not going to risk that, I think. He needs to keep the illusion of control for as long as possible. He'll keep me down here, accessible to make sure I'm nearby.

I'm going to enjoy terrorizing him with the threat of me showing anyone and everyone just how little control he has. Will he tell Ronan and Lucian? I think not, which will only make more cracks in his closest connections. Ronan is his beta. It's never good to hide something so important from someone so close. Lucian is his commander, but I'm pretty sure he's his gamma as well. If his sister is trying to marry Varek, he should want me out of the way.

A knock sounds on the door. I smooth my expression into something cool and collected. To my surprise, Tamsin steps inside with her arms full of dresses, and her eyes are bright.

“Options for dinner," she says, setting the bundle down with a grunt. "I suppose he'll be in to choose soon enough." She laughs. "I never thought he'd have such an interest. Maybe he'll pick something green."

She laughs again as I look at the pile. There are several green dresses in the pile.

"You are wicked," I say.

I step closer, running my fingers over the fabrics. I skip over the green to the black and gray dresses. The color makes me think of Liora.

“You've been hard at work," I say. "Did you just finish these?"

"I couldn't sleep!" She cries, clapping her hands. "It's been ages since I've enjoyed making a gown."

“They’re beautiful,” I admit, though my voice is cool. My eyes linger on the silver embroidery glinting faintly in the light. “Do you ever make dresses for Liora?”

The silence that follows is telling. Tamsin’s hands still on the fabric, her jaw tightening.

“No,” she says finally.

I arch a brow. “Because she doesn’t want one?”

“Because no one’s asked me to,” Tamsin replies, and there’s a weight to her words.

Something twists low in my chest. I want to ask how she feels about it, if there's even room for it. I pick up one, eyeing it, imagining Liora is one of them. Would she like blue better? It would make her hair seem more golden if it were the right shade. With her coloring, gold would look better than silver. I set aside the black and silver for the deep blue and gold. The sleeves have openings in them and are laced at the wrist and elbow.

"You're scheming," Tamsin says.

I smile, bobbing my head. I set the dress aside, wondering if I can convince Liora to wear it. At the least, it will set Varek on edge, and he'd be forced to either shut up or reveal how little he regards his own cousin.

I carry the blue dress into the bathing chamber, hanging it up out of sight. When I come back, she's smiling and laying each gown in a neat line on the bed.

“Tamsin,” I say, watching her fuss with the sleeves, “what do you remember of Liora’s sister?”

Her hands are still, and the air in the room shifts. She doesn’t look at me right away, just smooths the fabric until I almost think she won’t answer.

“Lady Cara,” Tamsin says at last, her tone careful. “Sweet girl, softer than Liora, pretty… she was married off years ago.”

I cross the room to the bed. “Was it a bad match?”

Tamsin shakes her head slowly. “Not that I ever heard. Her husband wasn’t known to be cruel, not like some. But—” she exhales, “Liora wasn’t the same after. They were close, near inseparable, and Liora never recovered from the distance. They don't even get to spend much time together when she and her husband visit, if any. She's always in the bleakest of moods when they're parted again. It's been two years since they last came."

A thread of bitterness winds through her words.

“Why her?” I ask. “Why not one of the courtesans? Why… isn't Liora married off, too?"

Tamsin sits and takes a deep breath. “The reason was never spoken outright, for either of those questions. Rumor has it that Beta Ronan's cousin and Commander Lucian's sister weren't even options at the time.”

I narrow my eyes. “Politics, then?”

She hesitates. “Some thought so. But I think otherwise.” She waves me closer. "It's all ancient history now, though."

I lean in slightly. Tamsin lowers her voice, barely audible, in a practiced and clear whisper that likely couldn't make it through the door.

“Lady Cara and Varek had a spat back then. She had a lover the king didn’t approve of, and he doesn’t forgive disobedience, so he sent her off to be married. I have no idea where the lover is now.”

Her eyes stare into mine, and something tells me that the man is dead, probably by Varek's hand. The words settle onto me like a stone on my chest, but they only feed my anger. I stand.

"As a sister myself, it's probably never ancient history to either of them… is Liora older?" She nods.

"By a few minutes."

"Twins?" I grimace, imagining a softer version of Liora, of the young woman Liora might have been once. My eyes burn with empathy and grief for her loss. "That…" I look across the dresses. "Which one do you think will piss him off more?"

Tamsin laughs and picks up the green, off-the-shoulder gown. It's somehow modest and alluring at the same time, embroidered with flowers from a warmer section of the continent.

"What can you tell me about Lady Cara's husband?"

She hums. "Droll. I think he was an heir, but not directly in line, or something. His kingdom is by the sea, and the trade agreement is why we have certain foodstuffs."

"Politics and survival, then," I say.

Liora and her sister are the closest thing Varek has to sisters. I could almost understand trading her for survival if it was just that, and didn't break the sisters apart. If there is trade between her brother-in-law's port and Caldara, there has to be a messenger willing to take letters back and forth. If not a hired messenger, then Liora could go. The fact that she hasn't, Varek's stance on no one leaving, tells me that Liora has to be laboring under some sort of order, promise, or compulsion to still be here in Caldara.

The question is why Varek didn't just let her go with her sister as her lady-in-wait or whatever. It wouldn't have meant one less warrior back then. It would have meant one less mouth to feed. And paper might be a luxury here, but from the sight of Varek's office, he could have spared a few sheets and some ink after tearing them apart like this.

No matter how I look at it, it just seems like he wants to punish Cara, maybe punish them both. I hadn't been sure of Liora's loyalty to Varek when I'd suggested it was passing, but now I wonder how many others have only a passing loyalty to him and how much resentment simmers in Caldara.

How far will I have to dig before I hit a chasm of it deep enough to swallow Varek whole? I pace, considering it.

"How long have Liora and Ronan been involved?"

"A year or so," she says, shrugging.

"Ronan and Varek are really close, aren't they?"

She chuckles. "The king doesn't care who his subordinates sleep with."

Is Varek hoping that they'll marry and Liora will forever be in Caldara? Did Liora have those sorts of feelings towards him? I hope not. He seems nice enough, but he's the Beta of Caldara. Any loyalty Ronan might have to her will only ever be second to his loyalty to Varek, or at least twined with it. I can't help getting Liora's silence when I asked her about marriage out of my mind. She wants to be married. Is it possible that her sister took her place?