Chapter 21: Confessions and Doubts
***Vanessa’s POV***
The January arctic wind burned my face as I opened Emma's front door. My mind kept whirling from the events that had taken place earlier. Sergie's kiss lingered at the corner of my lips, replaying in my mind a myriad of times on the way here, accompanied by feelings of both excitement and fear.
As I stepped inside, the familiar warmth of Emma’s home wrapped around me, and the faint sound of her humming in the kitchen brought a small smile to my face. This place had always felt like a safe haven, even though I lived alone in a small studio apartment in the city. I was hesitant to leave Emma alone; her studio felt welcoming and friendly, a stark contrast to the quiet sterility of my own.
“Hey, you’re back!” Emma called, poking her head out of the kitchen. “Come in; dinner’s almost ready. West will be home soon too.”
I took off my boots and walked over to the kitchen, where the aroma of rotisserie chicken and herbs tasted like home. Emma was cooking in a pot by the sink, her golden hair tied up in a loose ponytail.
“You look… off,” she said, narrowing her eyes as she turned to face me. “What happened?”
I paused, the tips of my fingers touching the edge of the countertop. How on earth was I supposed to break this to her without feeling like a total idiot?
“I—um, something just happened at work,” I managed, nearly able to pull it off.
Her eyebrows shot up. “Spill, Vanessa. You know you can’t keep anything from me.”
I let out a huff; I knew it was too late. “Okay, fine. Sergie kissed me.”
Emma froze, the spoon in her hand hovering midair. Then her face split into a smile that could have illuminated the whole city. “He kissed you? Sergie Ivanov kissed you? Oh my God!”
“Keep your voice down!” I hissed, glancing toward the door.
Emma dragged me to the kitchen table and forced me to sit down. “You’re not getting away without giving me every single detail. Start talking.”
I described each moment of the evening, from the sketch to the kiss that had passed between Sergie's lips and mine. Emma sat on edge, her hands clasped under her chin—a captive audience for this forbidden tale, her ears perked up like those of a gossipmonger at an important story.
When I finished, she let out a dreamy sigh. “That’s so romantic! You’re living in one of those swoon-worthy novels you love to read!”
I groaned and rested my head in my hands. “Emma, it’s not like that. It can’t be like that. He’s my boss. This could ruin everything.”
Emma waved a dismissive hand. “Oh, please! You’re overthinking it. If he kissed you, he has feelings for you. That’s not something you should just brush off.”
“It’s not that easy,” I explained, riddled with irritation. “What if this jeopardizes my job? What if things get messy? And then there’s Irina…”
Emma’s expression darkened at the mention of Irina. “The ex-fiancée?”
I nodded. “She showed up at the fashion show. I watched her talk to Sergie, and it was clear she wants him back. She’s gorgeous—blonde, statuesque, designer everything. I don’t stand a chance.”
Emma reached across the table and took my hand. “Vanessa, listen to me: Irina is in the past. If Sergie wanted her, he wouldn’t have kissed you. Don't let a past bad relationship spoil what could become something beautiful.”
I bit my lip as my mind raced. “But what if I’m just a distraction? What if he's not over her yet and I'm just… useful?”
Emma shook her head firmly. “Sergie does not strike me as someone who plays games like that. If he kissed you, it means something significant. You need to trust yourself—and him.”
Before I could respond, the sound of the front door opening interrupted us. A moment later, West walked in, looking dashing as always in his tailored suit.
“Hey, ladies,” he laughed before setting his briefcase on the floor. He walked over to Emma and hugged her from behind, kissing her lightly on the side.
“Missed you,” he murmured against her lips.
“Missed you too,” Emma replied, her tone ringing with love.
I watched their exchange as an unfamiliar pang stirred within me—a longing for something that felt so natural between them. Would I ever experience that with someone?
West turned to me with kind dark eyes. “Hey, Vanessa! Staying for dinner?”
“Of course she is,” Emma answered for me. “We’re having girl talk, and I’m not letting her leave until she listens to reason.”
West chuckled and gave me a knowing look. “Good luck with that! I’ll leave you two to it.” He took a plate and headed to the living room, leaving us alone once more.
Emma turned back to me with a serious expression. “Vanessa, I know you’re scared—but you deserve to be happy! If you have feelings for Sergie, don’t let fear hold you back.”
I hesitated as her words sank in. Did I have feelings for him? The vision of Sergie made my heart beat in a frenetic rhythm; my pulse quickened at the memory of his kiss—a feeling I hadn't experienced in ages.
“I don’t know, Emma,” I finally admitted. “I need time to figure things out.”
Emma nodded, her gaze softening. “Take all the time you need—just don’t close yourself off completely. You never know; this could be the start of something incredible.”
A small smile crept onto my face despite myself; however, my mind was still a stormy sea of uncertainty. Would I really risk it all for the hope of falling in love?
So I stood up to check on dinner but backed into my chair instead and closed my eyes as I let my mind drift back to Sergie—his gaze, his touch—the way he looked at me as if I were the only one in his world.
Maybe Emma was right; perhaps this was worth the risk.