59: Intisar Fu'ad Abbakar

She went into hiding since then, she always heard him whenever be came to her door knocking and begging her to listen to him, but Jalilah wasn’t sure if she could do something like that. She had never been betrayed this way. No, she could say this was the first time she had ever been betrayed in her life. She wondered what he was still doing here instead of him to go to his other family. So, all that excitement about their baby was fake? He had had a baby before, this wasn’t his first time experiencing how it felt. She cried every day, but it was wonders to her how she didn’t speak to anyone about it, not even Farha. Some part of her heart felt that before she knew what to do about this, she had to listen to him first, to know what why he did what he did to her.

Maybe it was her pregnancy hormones, but she was sure she had never been this sad. Just the thought of Yazeed having another wife apart from her, and also a child apart theirs was heartbreaking that she always cried herself to sleep at night. She didn’t know what else to do. How she would act if now that she had known, he realized he would finally bring them to live together, what would she do? She broke into tears when she realized that she couldn’t argue with him about it, she would have to say yes because she loved him that much.

It wasn’t good for her health and her baby for her to stay there all day crying, she always made sure he left for work before she quickly got down to get something for herself to eat, which she was certain if it wasn’t because of her baby, she wouldn’t have taken anything. He just left her door now, telling her that he was back from office and he wanted her to listen to him, it has been two weeks already, wouldn’t she please listen to him? She ignored it like she had always done before.

She realized that she wanted to take a walk around their area, she would use that chance to think through it and also decide whether he deserved a chance to explain himself or not. She got down from the bed as the thought crossed her mind and walked into her closet to get her abaya. She wore it and wrapped her veil around her head, and she ignored her phone on her way out. She didn’t want any distractions, she just wanted to be all alone, with her thoughts. She kept praying that she wouldn’t come across him on her way out and she was so glad to have passed the parking lot without seeing him.

“Jalilah!!!” She heard his voice as be screamed her name out of sheer fear and in a rapid breath. She turned, looked up from where she heard the voice coming and he was standing on the balcony. “Please don’t move, I’ll be down now!” He called out again and she didn’t know how she got rooted to her spot until he got down.

He moved to where she was and was about to take her hand when she took a step back, her eyes pooling with tears. She could see the way her reaction struck his heart, but she couldn’t control herself either. He was like a monster to her, he had a wife, he hid this all their lives. She didn’t think that there was a more painful betrayal like this.

He put his head into his hands and sighed, looking back into her eyes, he realized that she was already crying now. “Jalilah, will you please listen to me? Whatever you’re thinking of isn’t true. Please, I’m begging you in the name of Allah, don’t leave.”

She chuckled humorlessly and it surged a shiver down his spine. “I should have thought that you just didn’t want me to leave, not knowing about what you did. Anyways, congratulations to you, Yazeed Adam Bunza, I’m not leaving, I’m taking a stroll.” She turned her back at him and no matter how much he kept calling her name, she didn’t look back, painfully clearing her tears.

He ran after her and kept talking to her while she ignored him. They kept walking that way, as she cleared her tears and he kept begging her to listen to him, to at least stop crying. Jalilah got fed up to the point that she turned to look at him, “Do you know what? I don’t care whether you have a wife somewhere and a child. If you’re this restless because you want to either bring them or take me to live together, you don’t have to look this remorseful! Will you please leave me alone?!” She screamed at the pitch of her voice and Yazeed seemed taken aback by her outburst.

They kept staring at each other for a while before he heaved out a breath and palmed his face, “She’s dead, Jalilah. She has been dead for almost five years before I met you that day in the elevator. She didn’t give birth to that child, they killed her with the baby.”

‘And Yazeed? I killed her too.’ Jalilah silently prayed that these last words uttered by Hajia weren’t related to Yazeed’s wife. At some point after Hajia had died, she thought about what she had said but later forgot. Because she knew if the woman she killed was so important to him, he would have spoken about it. She felt soft, heartbroken even, but she didn’t show it to him. Because no matter what, it would never change the fact that he once had a wife and nearly became a father, but he didn’t mention it to her. She could never get over that betrayal.

After Yazeed saw the way his words struck through his heart, he continued. Because it was the right time to talk, he knew what he done was utterly wrong and it depended on her to forgive him or not. But just like she felt that he owed her an explanation about Khaleefah, he knew certainly that she owed him one too.

“Her name was Intisar Fu’ad Abbakar. I met her when I came back to Nigeria after my Bsc. She was an orphan, her mother died when she was very young and she lived with her stepmother, and she was the typical stepmother you know, she hated her. Her father was just a farmer and her stepmother forced her to sell tofu (awara) for her on the streets. She sold it beside a bank and one day I escorted Sulaiman to the bank when I saw her. She was beautiful, she was calm and was soft spoken. I bought it from her even though I wasn’t hungry, I just wanted to speak to her.

Our stories were the same, she told me her story and I told her mine. We became good friends. Most of the time I wouldn’t take lunch at home, I preferred to go and eat together with her, I bought it in abundance so she could eat because she told me that her stepmother didn’t allow her to eat. Whoever saw us talking together had to look at us again, because if not for pleasantries, every one of them could count the words she had ever said since she started working there. I guess she trusted me enough.

Sulaiman later realized where I always disappeared to and he followed me to find out. He was awe stricken when he found out that it was a girl, and from that day we always spent our evenings there. She was a nice girl; we became her friends, but I knew she was more than just a friend to me. We introduced Wafiyya to her and you know how Wafiyya is, she loved everyone, she loved Intisar too. We were processing for our masters, that time Wafiyya had left back to school when her father died, and her stepmother threw her out of the house.

I didn’t know what I had to do at that time, she was helpless, and I wanted to help her. At first, we kept her secretly with Sulaiman in my house, the one Alhaji gave me after my graduation, but I later realized who would take care of her if I left for school? So, I told Sulaiman I wanted to marry her. Because at the time, I was truly in love with her. Sulaiman thought it was a bad idea at first, but after I told him how serious I was, he agreed. We went to meet Alhaji together. I told him of my intentions, and it was a total No, Hajia said no so everyone had to do what she liked.

I threatened him that I would leave home, knowing so well at the time he was facing some difficulties with the company and the media was asking of his son, they knew he had one son, and no one knew his name or where he was. He wanted me to go and proceed with my studies so he could finally introduce me to the company. After that, Hajia agreed and he did too. Maybe it was because I had never spoken against them and she felt insecure like she did about you. We got married, but when he got the news that I was processing to leave the country with Intisar, he put a halt at it.

I later realized he spoke to the embassy and they denied her visa, Hajia made him do that because she wanted to separate me with her, simply because she was afraid for Intisar to give birth and my mother and I will become so powerful over the Bunza Empire. Living with Intisar felt like leaving in heaven, she was a sweet soul, may Allah have mercy on her. I forgot about all those pains, those loneliness and all that Alhaji pushed me into. I had to leave without her, and even though I suspected that she was having it bad with Hajia, she had never complained to me. Maybe because she was afraid or because she had gone through worse than what she was going through at the time.

I made sure that after every three months, I would visit Intisar. She was always happy when I came back home, she loved me so much. She was the kind of human that were optimistic about everything. You can hurt her to the core, but she would smile at you. She’s so soft and cool that I wondered how she got the life she had lived. Hajia took advantage of her nature and tortured her life. And when it got revealed that she was pregnant, it was the happiest I’ve ever been. That time, we came back home together with Sulaiman and Wafiyya and bless her soul, Wafiyya was the one that fought through and took Intisar out of the Bunza mansion. She wanted her to rest and have a happy life.

If not because Hajia is dead, I could say that she still hates Wafiyya for what she did at that time. She was almost in my house every day. She always travelled between Abuja to Kebbi and it was one of the best times of my life. It was the end of the year holiday, we stayed long at home at the time and it would only be half a year before we’re done with our masters and I’ll be back home, for good. Back to my family and by the time she would have given birth to my baby. We always went to baby shopping and when it was time for me to leave, she cried so hard. She told me that she didn’t want me to leave, but I had to.

I promised her that I will make sure to come back after three months to see her, even though at first, I wouldn’t come back until I was done. She escorted me to airport and gave me one of the tightest hugs of my life, crying against my shoulder. We were always on call with her, we had a video call and she always told me the progress of our baby whenever she went to see the doctor. I later realized how happy she had been since she started living in my house, unlike how glum she always looked when she was in Hajia’s house. Like I promised her, I came back after three months and stayed a month with her despite having projects and schoolwork to deal with, but I felt like I had to do that. Which was the last time I saw her. The picture you saw, it was on the day I was leaving back to school, she just finished crying and to make her feel better, we took a picture so she could see it every day.

I made sure I called her every day to know how she and the baby were doing, and they were perfectly okay. I got everything I bought delivered to her and she would call me on video call while we admired the cute little clothes while we laughed. The night she died, she called me and was telling me that she was having backache and I asked her whether to call Wafiyya, because at the time she was in Kebbi, she asked me not to, that she could be able to it. But if it persisted, she would call her herself by tomorrow.

And later at night, it got worse for her, it was time for her delivery. She called my phone, but I was defending my project at school, I didn’t pick her call. Wafiyya didn’t pick her call too because it was hours after midnight and she realized she could only resort to calling Hajia, which she did. Nonetheless, she came to her aid, she took her to the hospital and before she gave birth, Hajia injected a poison into her body. She was once a nurse; she knew all the ways not to make it traceable. That was how she died together with the baby, none of them could be saved.”

He had to stop here because it was so hard. Even though he knew both Wafiyya and Sulaiman knew the story, he didn’t have to voice it all over again. But this was the second time he was voicing it out, and it was harder than be bad ever imagined. First was to his therapist, and he didn’t get fully into the details, but for Jalilah, he told her everything.

They were already back into the house because mid-way with the story, she complained to him that she couldn’t walk again, and they were now seated in the garden. His eyes were bloodshot, and she pulled him to her for a hug, softly patting his back to console him the best way she could, which was through her silence.

“Cry it out Yazeed, you’ll feel better after you do.” She whispered, and for the first time in more than five years, he cried over Intisar’s death. He cried until his shoulders shook and Jalilah kept drawing some soothing circles on his back, silently telling him that he had been strong all these years, he would be fine.

Jalilah knew that loosing someone the way he did would be the hardest loss in life. If they had a fight and everyone got their separate ways, no matter how much he still loved her and was hurt over it, it wouldn’t hurt like it did now. Knowing she was innocent, and she didn’t deserve to die the way she did.

After nearly an hour, he broke their hug and stayed still as she cleared her tears for him. “Feeling much better?” She asked softly, and silently nodded his head.

“I think I can finally let go of it now.” He whispered and before she spoke again, be beat her at it. “Learning about her death and coming back to see her missed calls on my phone was the hardest pill I had to swallow in my life. I hated myself, I nearly took my life twice, because I felt if I hadn’t missed her calls, she wouldn’t have died the way she did. My baby wouldn’t have been murdered that way. We came back home but I’ve never set a foot into the house ever again, I was afraid and guilty too.

Sulaiman and Wafiyya secretly investigated the case at the hospital and they luckily found a tape which the cctv camera captured of someone injecting her. We didn’t know who it was at that time, but the day Hajia died, she told me it was her. They thought I would stop hating and punishing myself if I know that I wasn’t the reason of her death, what they didn’t know was, that made me more depressed than I am. Because if I couldn’t find the person that killed my wife and child, I’ve failed them.

When I told Alhaji about it, Hajia forbid me to go through the case. And Alhaji supported her, saying that if I did, he would do all he could to make sure it didn’t go alright. I realized letting it would be better, because it would be more painful to know the person that killed them and have him or her walk without having justice on them than not to know. But since then, I’ve been suspicious of Hajia, and it turned out she was really the one.”

Jalilah looked into his eyes and squeezed his hands that were in hers, “I’m so sorry you had to go through that on your own, it wouldn’t be easy, right? You would be afraid, depressed and whatever bad feeling it is in your life.” So, this was what he had coated in those eyes? This was the depth of his sadness and his grief? It wasn’t just about Ummi and Ameena, there was a deeper cut in his heart.

He nodded his head and tried to flick back his tears, but she shook her head to stop him, and he let them trail down his cheeks. “That was why I was afraid to fall in love because I know loving me brings nothing but hurt. I didn’t have it in me to put another woman into what Intisar went through, because if I did, I won’t be able to forgive myself. That was the reason I kept telling you that I can’t love you because I’m sure Hajia will do the exact thing she did to Intisar to you. And I couldn’t afford to lose two amazing women in my life. At that time, I thought I’d rather have you in someone’s arms than not have you alive, but I later realized I’ve always been in love with you, Jalilah.

You were different, you opened my heart without knowing you did, it felt so great. The first time I realized I was falling for you even though I kept denying it was on the day it rained, and I had to ask Wafiyya to take you home. I’ve never cared about anyone else that way since Intisar but you. And no matter how afraid I was, I still had to fall in love with you, which was the best thing I’ve ever done to myself.”

He pinched her cheeks and she grinned widely, “So you were the man that Jalilah told me about? The rain, elevator, and the screen guard, oh my god!” She squealed excitedly; she couldn’t believe that!

He groaned, “Sulaiman is right when he said Wafiyya has no sense of loyalty. She told you that?” He asked and smiled at her, feeling relieved and happy that he hadn’t felt in ages.

She nodded het head and winked, “She did, but I’m just realizing that you’re the one, which makes your apology easily acceptable even though you haven’t apologized yet.”

He opened his mouth to apologize when she shook her head at him, “Don’t do that now, I want it to be a grand apology in Lekki Conversation Centre. I want to see all that green and walk on the bridge while you tell me how much you love me.”

He smiled and pulled her to his body, “When do you want us to leave, Ballerina?”

She chuckled on his chest and shook her head, “I want to stay long in Lagos, I want to make sure you feel all the happiness you’ve been losing all these years. So, don’t rush yourself. Make sure you have no work in the office.” He held her close to his body and kissed her head.

After a while, she patted his back and looked up to meet his eyes, he was staring back at her. “May her soul rest in Jannah, Yazeed.” He smiled and nodded his head, hugging her as tighter as he could. He knew he had loved Intisar, but nothing in this world would be in comparison with the love he had for Jalilah.