Five

We were out the door early Sunday. Since it was just days before Christmas, the mall was opening up at the crack of dawn. I knew although my mom was willing to help, she also didn’t want her day consumed by my errands. She still had packing to take care of and last-minute pampering to take place.

My mother weaved through the mall like a woman on a mission, and she knew exactly where she was headed. I didn’t ask questions. I didn’t make suggestions. All I did was try to keep up. Then, out of the corner of my eye, Bath and Body Works caught my attention. Recalling how much Kristen loved the gift Rob had given her, I realized that perhaps I should have gotten Erik’s sisters a gift, too. “Uh… mom?” I asked timidly. She stopped and spun around, hands on her caramel corduroy covered hip. She was in Audrey runway pose. It was nauseating.

“What?” She sounded irritated. I had interrupted her shopping ritual. The hunt for the item was all part of the thrill.

“Kristen has two sisters. Should I… um…” I pointed to the store where the wafts of cucumber melon were enveloping my senses. “Pick them up something, too?”

My mother glanced at the store then back at me. “How old are they?”

I had to think. “Uh… twenty-eight.”

“Do they live at home?”

“No.”

“We can get all the gifts at the same store.” She spun around and began burning rubber with her designer boots. When she stopped in front of our destination, I froze. She was halfway inside Swarovski before she realized I was still stationed safely by the more affordable vendors.

“Brittany, I don’t have all day, let’s go.”

I shuffled in next to her, careful not to touch a thing. Everything was made of crystal. It may as well have been made of diamonds. “Mom,” I spoke low. “I can’t afford this store.”

“I know. But I can.”

I didn’t know how to react to that. Was this her attempt to smooth things over?

“I think an ornament would be a beautiful gift,” she said as her gaze took in all the pretty. Audrey did love shiny things.

“Okay,” I agreed, following her lead.

“Weather prediction is a white Christmas. Did you know that?”

I didn’t.

“I think the snowflakes make the most sense.” I looked over to the direction she was pointing. The snowflakes were hanging off of white branches. They looked like the tree was dripping in intricate diamonds. At the top, just where the satin ribbon looped to hold the ornament, the year was engraved in silver. My mother picked up the largest one. “See? That way they’ll always remember the year you stayed.” She looked back at the tree and carefully removed two tiny but identical snowflakes. “You can give the large one to Kristen’s parents and the two small ones to her sisters. Since they have their own apartments, I’m sure they wouldn’t mind a little holiday cheer.” She smiled, looking at the snowflakes. I don’t know if it was the dazzling sparkles the crystals were giving off as they twinkled under the store’s fluorescent lights or her genuine smile, but she looked youthful and pretty. “What do you think?” I was taken aback when she asked for my opinion.

It took a moment to respond. I wasn’t used to her both happy and interacting with me. Too much to register at once. “I think they’re perfect gifts.”

My mother nodded satisfied and handed them over to a clerk to be gift wrapped. “What about Kristen?” she asked.

“What about her?”

“Don’t you think we should pick out a gift for your friend?” Crap. For a moment, I forgot who we were shopping for.

“No, we already exchanged gifts at school. She made me promise not to bring another. I wouldn’t want her to feel bad.” More lies to add to the web of deceit I had woven. I prayed she didn’t ask what we exchanged. She didn’t.

“You sure?” she asked, and for a moment I saw that she was actually enjoying this last-minute shopping trip.

“Yes. I’m positive.”

“All right. Suit yourself, but don’t come crying to me when she gives you a beautiful gift and you’re empty handed.” She handed her credit card to the clerk. “Just the snowflakes.” The clerk nodded and rang up the ornaments, and I almost fainted when I saw the price. Guilt took hold of me, and I felt compelled to tell her the truth.

“Mom?”

She turned around, her eyes all aglow, and that smile still curled across her face. “Yes?”

There were very few moments I had with my mother that were peaceful and happy. I wanted to tell her the truth, to tell her how I was staying with Erik and not only was I excited but completely terrified of making a bad impression. But I also didn’t want to shatter this moment. The fear won. “Thanks for doing this for me. I really appreciate it.”

She looked at me intently and gave the best apology she could for yesterday’s disaster. “It’s my pleasure. Let’s get you something nice to wear for Christmas day.”

We went for manicures afterward. It was something I hadn’t done with her since I was probably thirteen. She didn’t even cringe when I picked my favorite dark wine color. She was too focused on Paris. It was evident, but I didn’t mind. We were getting along. Not like we were having great conversation or anything; in fact, we were mostly silent, but there was a peace that had settled between us, and oddly enough, I think it was my lie that had planted the seed.

After nails, my mom had a hair appointment. I told her I’d stroll around town and kill time until she was done. The disappointment on her face was laughable, but this time I knew it wasn’t because I was leaving her. It was because I was keeping my purple hair. Mom had a personal war with my hair color. She despised it. I think she’d honestly prefer me bald.

In the center of town was a Salvation Army store. I used to shop there all the time when I was in high school. In fact, I still used my Army messenger bag as my purse. Walking in, the elderly clerk wearing his khaki foldable hat recognized me right away.

“Hey, stranger! Haven’t seen you in a while.”

“I’ve been away at college. But I’m home for winter break.”

“That’s great! Well, we have some pins that came in last week and a whole shipment of shirts still in the box if you feel like going through it.”

“First dibs! You know I’m all over that.” He pointed to the back where there was a huge cardboard box with dozens and dozens of shirts. Based on the style, I dated them back to the nineteen sixties. They were mostly the green Army kind. A few white navy, and some blue marines. I was drawn to the green ones. I started picking them up and reading the names of the men and women they belonged too. I always loved reading these names and wondering who they were and what happened to them. Most of the shirts were way too big for me. Then I pulled out one that caused me to freeze. There over the left breast pocket a name was stitched on in black ink.

Drax.

It was the perfect gift for Erik. And surveying the shirt quickly, I knew it would fit him. I looked at all the stitching, but it appeared to be in amazing condition. Like I had it made for him. Overjoyed, I ran over to the counter with my new treasure to pay.

“Find anything good?” the clerk asked.

“Yes, look!” I squealed and held up the shirt, pointing to the name. “My boyfriend’s last name is Draxton!” I remembered so vividly the day I went to Erik’s dorm building looking for his room. His RA referred to him as The Drax. It was almost spooky to find this shirt.

“You really love that shirt, huh?”

“It’s beyond perfect.”

“Then just take it. Merry Christmas.” He smiled.

“I can’t just take it.”

“Sure you can. If it makes you so happy, it makes me happy to give it to you. You’ve always been a good customer, consider it a welcome home present.”

“Thank you so much!”

“No problem, just promise not to be a stranger, all right?” I nodded and practically skipped out of the store. I was elated. It was a great day all around, and for the first time in a long time, I was happy to be home.