Twenty-one

“I didn’t even know this existed. Kristen gave it to me a few weeks ago, so I made you a copy.” Erik unwrapped the paper and turned the frame over to reveal the picture I had placed inside. It was taken on Halloween, the night of the auction. He was dressed up like the Dread Pirate Roberts, and he had me, dressed as Emma Frost, in his arms as he kissed me for the first time.

Erik had told me over and over again that he didn’t want anything for his birthday but for me to visit. He begged me not to buy him anything knowing that Christmas was the day before, and we would be exchanging gifts then. I felt a little guilty not giving him any present—well, one that he could open, but when I saw this, I thought it was perfect.

I had painted the top of the frame to say, “Our first kiss…” and the bottom to read, “But not our last.”

“Brit. This is so special. Thank you.”

Everyone who was there that night said sparks flew when we kissed. I always thought they were crazy, hung up on romantic notions and three beers in. But looking at this… well, I was able to see what they saw.

“One more present,” I said as I walked across his room and sat on his bed.

“I told you not to buy me anything. The picture was more than enough.”

“Oh. Okay, then I won’t play guitar for you.” Erik was by my side in a moment.

“Play guitar and sing?” he asked hopefully.

“And sing,” I conceded as I stretched over and grabbed his guitar from its cradle.

“Wait!” Erik stretched out across the bed, resting his cheek in the palm of his good hand. “Okay, I’m ready now.”

The neck of Erik’s guitar was thicker than mine, and whereas my electric had a more tinny sound, his acoustic was deeper, warmer. I strummed a chord, and I could literally feel how excited Erik was. It was radiating toward me. No pressure or anything. “You better contain yourself. I’m not into groupies.”

“I’m trying.” His words were slightly higher pitched than usual, and I rolled my eyes.

I strummed a few more chords, just to get a feel for his instrument; then when I felt comfortable with it, I took a breath and switched the melody to the introduction of the song I had been practicing for him.

It was the Beatles, It’s only love. And when I started singing to Erik, he looked at me in a way that caused my heart to skip a beat. Knowing the walls were soundproof gave me the confidence I needed to lose myself in the song and the lyrics. I played it slower, and sang it a bit sultrier than John Lennon would have, but from the look on Erik’s face, I could tell he approved of my spin on it. About halfway through the song, I wasn’t nervous anymore. In fact, I was enjoying our moment.

I sang the last line and strummed the final chord, Then looked at Erik and smiled. He was beaming. I was about to kiss him when there was a burst of applause behind me. I screamed and jumped off the bed, spinning around to discover Laura and Mrs. Draxton had just witnessed what I thought had been a private performance.

I had my right hand over my heart, which was about to beat right through my chest. My left hand was still clutching the neck of the guitar like a shield of protection. Erik shook his head. “Great, guys, I think that was my last concert.”

“I thought the walls were soundproof.”

“They are. I opened the door to tell you that cake was ready, and when I heard you, I grabbed mom. Sorry, Brit, it was just too good to miss.”

“It was really wonderful, honey. Can you play something else for us?” Mrs. Draxton asked.

“Uh, maybe later. That is if my heart doesn’t explode first.”

“She has a thing about playing in public,” Erik explained.

“That’s not true, I just need to know who I’m playing for first.”

“So you’ll play for the family later?” he asked, a brow raised, daring me to say no. I looked at the room full of faces all awaiting my answer.

“Laura, did you say it was time for cake?”

After cake, Erik and I did end up going to the movies. Mrs. Draxton offered to drive us, but Erik vehemently shook his head. He had abandoned the sling completely and assured her he could drive in the brace. I had no idea he was such a bad patient. “If I don’t get back on the horse, I’ll be all freaked out the next time I drive,” he explained. She nodded but asked that we texted her when we arrived at the movies. Erik started to argue, but I interjected telling her we’d also text her when we left the theater. That seemed to ease her mind, and I wondered how I could be so in tune with what Erik’s mother needed but have no clue what my own wanted to hear.

We got to the theater early, which was a good thing. There was already a long line, and a good portion of the crowd were in full Star Wars costumes. Even Erik had on a dark blue shirt with faded yellow writing that read, I find your lack of faith disturbing.

Once inside, Erik got seats, and I went to get popcorn and drinks. He argued at first, but there was no way he was going to carry a tray of food with his wrist. I knew he hated feeling helpless, but it really only was for a few more days, and I refused to risk his dexterity over his innate need to constantly be my knight in denim armor. I had an idea twirling around my head, and no clue if it was a good idea or a bad idea, so when I sat back down. I just blurted it out.

“Can I ask what you and Alice spoke about in the car yesterday?”

Erik fidgeted in his seat a bit and reached into the bucket to grab a handful of popcorn. “She kept rehashing the past. To be honest, I didn’t want to listen.” He popped a few pieces of popcorn into his mouth.

“Did you let her talk?”

“No. Not really.”

It was so unlike Erik to be rude. So either he really didn’t want to piss me off, or what had gone down between them when they broke up had messed him up so bad he truly wanted no part of her in his life anymore. I’d like to think it was the latter. I really didn’t want to be labeled the clingy psychopath. “Why?”

“Because there was nothing left to say. Our relationship ended pretty ugly. Why go back? I tried to ask about what she was doing now, but she kept bringing up when we were together. That seems like a million years ago to me. I’m in a different place now.” He looked at me thoughtfully. “A much happier place”

“Maybe for you it seems like a million years ago, for her it might be something she needed to discuss.”

Erik furrowed his brow. “Brit, why are you taking her side? Just a few nights ago you wouldn’t even speak to me over this girl.”

“I know, I know.” He was right. I had a total meltdown over her. No wonder he was acting this way toward her. “But since your accident, I’ve done a tremendous amount of thinking.” I took a breath. “Did you feel by reminiscing about your past that you were in some way being unfaithful to me?”

Erik sighed and laid his head back against his seat. It rocked back. “You were so mad the other night and that was with my whole family present. I couldn’t disrespect you and stroll down memory lane… go back to a time when we were together. Not just the two of us alone. It didn’t seem right. I’ve moved on, and she needs to as well.”

“But Erik, you were together. It’s okay to talk about the past. Not speaking about it doesn’t erase the memory. And do you really want to erase her? She was your first love.”

His mouth twitched. “I never loved her the way I love you,” he said rather defensively.

“And I never loved Jaime the way I love you. But I still loved him. I still do love him.”

“You and Jaime are different, though. Stuff happened with Alice—dark stuff.”

I rested my hand on his arm. “I know. Lani told me. That’s why I think she needs some sort of closure. Not in a letter but face to face.”

He nodded. “All right, tomorrow. Tonight it’s still my birthday and I just want to enjoy you.” The lights dimmed, and we put on our plastic 3-D glasses. Having never seen Erik in any type of glasses, I was pleasantly surprised to discover he actually looked really hot with the black frames. My gaze dropped to his lips, which had a faint trace of buttery glaze from the popcorn. I was so tempted to lick it off, but I behaved. He looped his arm around my shoulder, and I snuggled up against him as the familiar Star Wars theme began. Touching his forearm, I shook my head and giggled at my findings.

“You are such a little boy!” I whispered. “You just got goosebumps from the music.”

“That’s not from the movie, babe. That’s from you.”

“Liar.”

He just squeezed me tighter. I smiled and rested my head against his shoulder. Erik had a geeky side to him that peeked out every once in a while. It was kinda hot.