Sixteen

Mrs. Draxton had asked me to cut X’s into chestnuts. It was monotonous, but I needed a task to pass the time. Erik was longer than ten minutes; we were approaching the thirty-minute mark, and my stomach twisted with suspicion. I knew Erik would be faithful to me, and I believed him when he said he had no interest in her. But that didn’t mean that she wouldn’t try.

Mrs. Draxton came in and gave me a smile. “He probably had to go to one of the bigger supermarkets. The little stores wouldn’t be open today.” She hummed Jingle Bells, grabbing a garbage bag as she flitted into the living room to collect the wrapping paper mess we had left earlier this morning.

Fifteen more minutes passed, and I was starting to get angry. I must have been taking my wrath out on the poor chestnuts, for Erik’s dad came to my rescue.

“Let me help you.” Mr. Draxton pulled up a stool and started slicing X’s into chestnuts while he whistled Good King Wenceslas. This sure was a musical family. He was faster than I was, and when I saw his pile had soon doubled mine, I realized I was way too distracted.

Alice was bad news. I wished the Draxton’s weren’t so good hearted. Did she really need a ride home? God gave her legs. Legs that she at one time had wrapped around my man… ugh.

I imagined her sobbing in the car, going on about how much she loved him, and Erik being Erik, would say whatever he could to ease her pain. Maybe he’d even hold her while she cried.

“Ow!” I had been so distracted that I missed the chestnut and inadvertently sliced open my thumb. Mr. Draxton hopped off of his stool, flew over to the counter, wet a paper towel, then grabbed my hand and cleaned me up. I was a bloody mess. I drew in a breath as the cold water hit the cut. I always bled a lot, but once he wiped the blood away to see the wound, the cut wasn’t too bad.

“Doesn’t seem too deep. You okay, hon?” I looked into his eyes and saw Erik, that same concern and need to protect. Erik would never hurt me. And the second he walked in that door, I was going to tell him what a jerk I had been the past two days. Maybe my mom was right about the loving fiercely thing. It can make you crazy.

“Yeah, it just throbs a bit.”

The phone rang, and Mr. Draxton told me to apply pressure while he answered it. I was going to need another paper towel. The damn thing was already soaked red.

“Hello.”

It was difficult to pull the paper towel off with one hand without covering the counter with my DNA. If Erik walked in now, he’d surely overreact. Probably take me to the ER. I smiled inwardly. He didn’t even want me to help shovel for fear I’d catch a sniffle. If that boy could swaddle me in bubble wrap, he would.

“Yes, this is Joe Draxton.” His voice was rigid. Something was wrong.

“What?” His face was masked in shock and horror. I froze. This wasn’t just another phone call wishing the family a Merry Christmas.

“Yes. I’ll be right there.” He hung up and turned to me, but I don’t think he saw me, just stared, his eyes searching. And that’s when I knew.

“Is it Erik?” My blood ran cold as he nodded, and I fell back against the counter.

Lani walked by in the hallway and he grabbed her, causing her to jump. “Where’s your mother?”

“In the living room. Why?”

“Erik was in a car accident. He was taken to the hospital by ambulance.”

Car accident?

“Oh my God!” She slammed her hand over her mouth.

I didn’t move. Didn’t blink. Didn’t think. Time seemed to stop.

“Is he okay?” Lani looked terrified.

“I don’t know any details. But I don’t want to worry your mother. For all we know, it was just a precaution, and he’s fine. Guests will be arriving in a couple of hours. So tell Laura and have her stay with mom. The two of us can go to the hospital. Meet me in the car in one minute.”

She nodded, wiping her eyes as the tears were already falling. I didn’t cry. I was in shock. Mr. Draxton looked at me for the first time. I think he had forgotten I was in the room.

“Brit! Your hand!”

I looked down, it was dripping red. But I didn’t feel a thing. He grabbed another paper towel and pulled me into the living room. “Maggie! Brit cut herself. I’m taking her to the hospital! She needs stitches.”

“Oh my goodness! Brit, honey, are you okay?”

I turned to her and just shook my head. No, I wasn’t okay.

Everything became a blur. I was in Mr. Draxton’s car, Lani was next to me putting pressure on my hand, and Mr. Draxton was driving down the snowy road, muttering to himself. “That’s good, she thinks you need stitches… timing is so funny… when we come back with Erik, we’ll have a big laugh about this. You can show everyone it was just a scratch… it’ll be a story we tell for years…” I wasn’t sure if he was trying to calm us down or himself, but he could have been singing in Albanian for all the sense he was making now.

When we turned off the main road, I heard Lani scream. “Dad! That’s Erik’s car!”

It was Erik’s car. His blue Ford Taurus. Wrapped around a tree. There was glass all over the road, and the entire hood of the vehicle was crushed in. The front windshield had a huge crack across it. Both front air bags had deployed. There were a few police cars, cops writing up a report. No other vehicle had collided with them, but there was blood. More blood than I had ever seen in real life, and it was all over the road and the car. It was splashed across the cracked windshield. It looked like a horror movie. What the hell happened here?

Mr. Draxton slowed down to digest the scene, but Lani started slapping his shoulder. “Just keep going, Dad, get to the hospital!” She was crying now, and I grabbed her hand with my good one and gave it a squeeze.

“He’s okay,” I said. Not sure if I believed it, but I had to say it, because Erik had to be okay. “He’s okay,” I said again, rocking gently to calm my nerves. “He’s okay,” I cried as the tears fell down my face, and I realized for the first time, I may never talk to Erik again. Never feel his arms around me or his warm lips against mine. “He’s okay,” I sobbed.

Lani squeezed my hand back. “He’s okay,” she said.

The ER was the most depressing sight I had ever seen. Christmas day and they had holiday Muzak droning over the loudspeakers. There were a handful of people in the waiting room, but none of them were Erik. I had hoped to find him there, sitting with a cup of hot chocolate. Erik loved hot chocolate…

Dammit, Brit! Stop thinking about him in the past tense.

Mr. Draxton ran over to the front desk. “Excuse me, I’m Joe Draxton, my son was in a car accident this morning. He was taken here by ambulance.” Lani squeezed my hand. I didn’t know how I was still standing. The nurse who had a tight bun and gingerbread scrubs on, nodded.

“Yes, if you take a seat, I’ll find a doctor for you.”

“Ma’am, is my son okay?”

“I need you to take a seat, and I’ll track down the doctor who treated him.”

“But is he all right?”

“Sir, I just started my shift. I need you to sit down so I can look through the files. It will only be a moment.” The nurse looked like she wanted to be anywhere but here. True, her kids were probably home, but Erik was somewhere in this hospital, and we didn’t know how bad he was.

Mr. Draxton took a deep breath and nodded. Lani let go of my hand and went to hug her dad. Watching them, shaking and crying, my mind was flooded with fear.

Hours ago we were in that car… tangled together… loving each other. Being reckless and carefree. Just living in the moment.

What if that was our last moment?

I dry heaved and turned to the wall to take a moment and count to ten. I was lightheaded, too. Erik was in this building. But where? Was he lying on an operating table? My hands started to shake, and I thought I might start screaming at that nurse at any second, simply because she was the barrier between me and finding out the truth.

“Dad?” Lani asked. “Mom just texted me. She asked if Brit is okay and if we heard from Erik. What should I say?”

Mr. Draxton looked at Lani sadly. “Just answer with, ‘we’re in the waiting room’. As soon as we know anything we can call home and fill them in.” He headed over to the chairs and threw himself into a seat. He began rubbing his forehead. His fingers were trembling.

I looked down at my hand. The reason Mrs. Draxton believed we were here. It had finally stopped bleeding, but the blood from before was stained all over my wrist and clothing. I wondered how Laura was holding up at home, knowing that Erik was in an accident, but having to pretend everything was okay.

“Joe?” Mr. Draxton looked up. There was an older couple here, they were both crying, and I knew they were Alice’s parents. The woman looked just like her, but more mature, like Alice had been projected into the future. “What happened?”

“Valerie!” Mr. Draxton gave her a hug then turned to the man who was probably Alice’s dad. “I don’t know. I just got a call from the police that the kids were in an accident.”

“Who was driving?” the man asked.

Mr. Draxton stiffened. “Erik.”

The woman turned into her husband’s chest and began sobbing. “I can’t do this again, Rick. I can’t.”

“It’s all right. Let me see what I can find out.” Rick went over to the front desk and started asking questions. Mr. Draxton pulled Alice’s mother over to the side to talk to her, and Lani was hugging herself. Her eyes were red and swollen from crying. The doors to the ER flew open and paramedics came in with a man on a cart. The guy had an oxygen mask covering most of his face, and a bleeding head injury that they were trying to tend to while wheeling him down the hall. People were shouting at each other, and it felt like everyone held their breath as the chaos rolled passed us. When they were gone, I flashed a look of concern at Lani, and that’s the moment I lost control.

Tears poured out of me. Was that the way they had brought Erik in? Was he covered in blood? I was doubled over trying to catch my breath, but I couldn’t. I was dying. Dying from the pure pain of not knowing if Erik was okay. Because based on the condition his car was in and all that blood on the road, how could he be?

My emotions were squeezing my heart, and I sobbed as though he were already confirmed dead. And if he were… I don’t think I could ever breathe again.

“Brit?” My head whipped up at the sound of my name. There he stood, bruised cheeks, scraped chin, bloody shirt, and left arm in a sling, but very much alive.

“Erik!” I lunged forward and grabbed him around his neck, hugging him tighter than I ever had before.

“I’m okay,” he said as he kissed the top of my head and stroked my hair with his good hand.

“I was so scared! So scared!” My body was trembling against his. “I thought… you don’t even want to know.” I started crying harder then, overwhelmed by all my emotions hitting me at once. His brand-new army shirt was going to have a little puddle of salty tears and snot all over it in addition to the blood.

“Shh…” He kissed my head again. “I’m okay, baby. I’m fine.”

“Come give me a hug before I beat the shit out of you.” Lani was crying, too, and I stepped away to let her have a moment with her brother. Mr. Draxton was bent over, hands on his knees, taking a few deep breaths.

I ran over to him and put my hand on his back. “Are you okay?”

He looked up. His eyes were tearing up. “Yes. I am now. Yes.” He nodded and sniffed back his tears then stood up straight and gave his son a hug. Erik looked at me over his dad’s shoulder. I couldn’t read his emotion, but he seemed shook up. I realized then we still didn’t know what happened or where Alice was.

“I’m going to call mom,” Lani said as she wiped at her eyes and pulled out her cell phone.

“Yeah, tell her I couldn’t pick up her egg nog.” Erik placed a hand on his hip and stared at the floor, shaking his head. He had a stunned look to him, like reality had just smacked him hard in the face.

“Erik?” It was Valerie, and she was trembling. Erik looked up at her, not surprised to find her here with us. “Where is my daughter?”

“She’s okay,” he assured, and the way he said it, I believed him. “The doctor’s just took her for a CAT scan.”

“So there could be something wrong?” Rick asked, looking painfully concerned.

“Mr. and Mrs. Groves?” a female doctor wearing blue scrubs and a white lab coat asked.

They turned to look at her. “Hi. I’m Dr. Wallace, I’m treating Alice. If you come with me, I can take you to her and explain what happened.” They nodded and followed.

“Is she really okay?” I asked after they were out of ear shot, just to be sure. I didn’t like the girl, but I didn’t wish anything bad to happen to her. At least, I didn’t think I did.

“Her face is badly bruised from the airbag, so they took some x-rays to make sure nothing was broken. I assume she has whiplash, too. She was complaining of a headache, so they gave her a CAT scan. Just to be safe.”

“Did they do all that to you?”

“Nah, I’ve got a thick skull.” He winked at me but then flinched and touched his cheek. “Ow.”

I switched into interrogation mode. “Why is your shirt covered in blood?”

“Nosebleed.”

“And you broke your arm?”

“No, no… it’s just a sprain. I’ll be playing guitar in a few days.”

I looked at him, still in disbelief. I had seen that car… it was totaled. And the blood… it didn’t make sense.

“We drove past your car, there was blood, everywhere. But you look like you fell off your skateboard.”

“Oh… yeah.” His mouth twitched. “I hit a deer.”

A deer. I breathed a sigh of relief. That made so much more sense. That explained the blood and the way his car was completely destroyed.

“He came out of nowhere. But it was my fault. I was driving too fast.”

I crinkled up my brow and looked at him in accusation. “You never drive fast. You’re a stickler for the speed limit.”

“I know. I was just anxious to drop her off and get home. I know every twist of these roads, and I usually know how to take the turns, but the deer jumped out, and the road was slick from last night’s snow. I slammed on the breaks, the wheels couldn’t handle the icy roads, and I lost control. I slammed right into him. Felt like I hit a truck. It was horrible. I’ve never experienced an impact like that. The tree stopped us. So it was a double hit.”

If I wasn’t sure if guardian angels existed, I no longer doubted.

“Erik… I’ve told you a thousand times to watch out for deer, and you know better than to push your car in harsh conditions. My God! You could have killed yourself, and Alice!”

Mr. Draxton was screaming, and I couldn’t blame him. I had never known Erik to act so irresponsible. I was pissed at him for driving like an ass, but even more pissed at her for showing up in the first place. If she hadn’t shown up with her stupid Christmas cheer and pining for my boyfriend, none of this would have happened.

“We were so worried. Why didn’t you text me that you were okay?”

“My phone got smashed in the accident.” He pulled it out of his back pocket, the screen looked like it had taken the impact of a bullet. He looked me over and crinkled his brow.

“Why are you covered in blood?”

“Rogue chestnut.”

“What?” He looked so confused.

“It’s not even worth explaining.”

“Can we go? Do you need to sign anything?” Lani asked. The ER staff were all watching us like we were a reality TV show. I agreed it was time to close the door on this part of our day. I just needed to know he was safe at home.

“Uh, yeah. I’m all done. But, I wanted to talk to Alice before we go. Can you give me a few minutes?”

I nodded but refused to look at him. Instead, I walked over to the chairs and sat down, playing with the guitar picks on my wrist. Mr. Draxton said he would pull the car around, and Lani sat beside me to wait.

“So, this has been one hell of a Christmas, huh?” she said rubbing, her face with her hands.

“I know he’s up there apologizing to her. He’s going to carry this around like a stone, not willing to let it go.” I sounded catty, I knew it, but I was so conflicted. This accident would just link them together more, in this horribly dark way.

“Do you know anything about her?” Lani asked softly. I felt like she had switched into social worker mode. Could I blame her?

“Other than she was his high school sweetheart and your mom loves her, nope, not a thing. Erik says there’s other stuff, but he won’t tell me.”

Lani nodded. “Everyone else in the family knows, I don’t see why you shouldn’t. Alice had an older brother named Aidan. One night when she was a sophomore in high school, there was a car crash. Alice was driving, she only had her permit. Aidan didn’t make it.”

“Oh my God.”

“Alice sort of slipped into this deep depression. She was in and out of hospitals. Missed a ton of school. All her friends didn’t know how to act around her, and so they faded away. All but one.”

“Should I even bother guessing who?”

Lani rolled her eyes. “He was just being Erik. He really did care. He wanted to pull her out of the darkness, I guess. And he did. She got better, and somewhere in the midst of all that pain, she fell for my brother, hard.”

“I’ve been there. It’s a high drop.”

Lani smiled. “Well they dated, and she was always at my house. They did the prom, all that high school crap, and it was time for college. Erik loved her, but I never really think he was in love with her. Does that make sense?”

I nodded.

“Well, when he told her he wanted to end things, she started saying it was like losing Aidan all over again. She never really healed herself, or mourned Aidan. She just filled the void with Erik. She told him she’d kill herself if he left her.”

“Oh my God!” I remembered what Lani said last night when Alice came over. She’s crazy… Was she crazy? Or was she just so in love that she got desperate and clung to the wrong straw?

“Erik came to me, he didn’t know what to do. I told him he had to get out of that relationship. I wasn’t about to have my baby brother be manipulated. I wanted him to be a gentleman, but not a wimp.”

“And did she…”

“Yeah, she slit both her wrists—but not deep enough to, well, you know. Anyway, she went back in the hospital for a few months. I think she used to write Erik letters, and Erik being Erik wrote back, but after a while, I told him he needed to just move on and live his life without looking back. So he wrote her a farewell letter, and that was the last contact they had with each other until last night.”

“But… why would your mother invite her to dinner if they had such a horrible breakup? Plus, you gotta admit, it was really weird with me there.”

“I know, I know. My mom’s the type to collect wounded kittens off of the street, so don’t hate her for having Alice over for dinner. I think she ran into her mother or something. I couldn’t really get a straight answer out of her. But I knew you were upset. It was clear you and Erik were arguing last night.”

“Do you think your mom wishes he was back with Alice?” The words were spoken softly, but I had to ask.

“What? Are you crazy! My mother freaking adores you! She really feels terrible that you guys were arguing.”

I dropped my gaze to the guitar picks. “How do you know?”

“She told me.”

I looked up at her. “Really?”

“Really. She said she’s never seen Erik so happy, and she knows it’s all because of you. She said she would hate to think she may have jeopardized your relationship.” My bottom lip trembled, and I had an urge to hug her.

Erik came over to us then, scratching at his head. “I wasn’t allowed in now. They’re doing the CAT scan. So I just told Mr. and Mrs. Groves that we were going to go.” He looked very solemn, and I reached for his good hand and gave it a squeeze.

“What did you want to tell Alice?” I asked.

He looked at me, a heartbroken expression on his face. “How sorry I am.”