Chapter 40 Leaving

He actually offered me a help. He said that he'll be with me during the progress. He said he won't leave me alone. But I disagreed. Gustuhin ko man siyang makisali dito, but I know that this is my own fight. This is my own issue, and this is the last thing that I would let him be involved.

"No. You shouldn't."

Pareho na kaming nakabihis ngayon. I was sitting on the edge of the bed while he was settled at my back. He was combing my hair when I answered him. Saglit itong napahinto sa ginagawa bago ipinagpatuloy ulit. Parang inaasahan na niya ang magiging sagot ko.

"Hmm... Why is that?"

I bit my lower lip. Because I seriously don't want to taint his name. I know now his standing in the society. The Verlice's are ranked two as the most influential people in the world, of course, in the name of business too. Pumapangalawa sila sa mga Glaverra which I find odd. May narinig kasi ako noong usapan sa mga tao dito sa isla about the Verlice. Ang sabi nila ay nangunguna naman daw talaga ang mga Verlice. But the whole family wanted to keep it low-key, so they gave way to the Glaverra's.

Hindi daw dumadalo sa kahit ano mang mga social gatherings ang pamilyang 'to dahil tanging representatives lang ng pamilya ang nagpapakita. They are mysterious because ani pa nila. No one had ever saw a family member of Verlice in public. Kung meron man ay piling mga tao lang ang mga ito. And no one, as in no media even dared to show their faces in social or tv's. The Verlice are moving silently. Kapag daw may sekretong kumukuha ng informations about sa family nila ay automatic na manganganib daw ang buhay mo. Kaya hindi nakapagtataka kung wala akong makita halos ni isang pictures nina Anastasia. Kahit sa Mommy at Daddy ni Chaos at ng kapatid nitong lalaki. There were only few informations, but they are not that relevant.

"Because this is my own issue, Chaos. I know how much you wanted to be involved in this case, but this is my own marriage." Natahimik siya doon. Tuluyan na nitong hininto ang ginagawa at dahan dahan akong niyakap mula sa likod.

"I wanna go with you, baby. I will just stay inside our unit while you're at it. Please? I don't want you to go there alone..." nanghihinang bulong nito. Marahan nitong hinaplos ang aking tiyan.

I sighed. Ayaw ko din namang mag-isa. But I have to. Ayaw ko talagang madungisan ang pamilya nila dahil lang dito. No. I know that the Verlice are protecting their privacy, and I know how much they value it, so I don't want to be the reason of him, showing up in public or something just to support me.

"No. I can do this alone, Chaos." ani ko. I will have to. For him and Rix. "Please baby? Let me do this alone, hm?" malambing kong dagdag habang hinahaplos ang mabalahibo nitong braso. When I heard his groan, that's when I know that I won. Pero alam ko namang medyo nagdududa pa ang lalaking 'to.

"You'll be coming back to me, right? You'll protect yourself and our baby, right?"

I nodded. "Of course, Chaos. I'll protect our child and I'll be coming back to you. Why do you think I am pursuing the annulment now, huh? It's because of you, Cerix, and our little angel, silly."

"So, kung hindi ka pregnant, you'll not end your marriage with that asshat?"

I smirked. Hindi ako sumagot. The truth is no. Bago pa man kami may mangyari sa aming dalawa ay nag-iisip na akong hiwalayan si Ansel. Because I seriously don't want to choose him when I am addicted to the bastard behind me. I know from the start that I am in danger. When my eyes first laid on his beautiful sapphire blue eyes, I know I was in danger. Maybe it was really a destiny that crossed our paths together. We are meant to be together, that I know.

"Baby? You're not answering me. You won't end you—"

"Let's sleep." pagpuputol ko sa sasabihin nito.

"B-but—"

"Bawal daw sa buntis ang magpuyat, Chaos."

Wala na itong nagawa pa kundi ang sundin ako. He gently tucked me on the bed before settling himself beside me. Kaagad akong yumapos dito habang patuloy sa paghaplos ang lalaki sa aking buhok.

"I'm so fucking in love with you, baby."

I smiled. "I love you too."

***

"Mom,"

"Yes Rix, baby?" bahagya akong lumingon dito habang nagpatuloy sa ginagawa. I am practicing on making a cake para sa birthday ni Rix. I want to make the cake myself because I wanted it to be extra special. Medyo malayo pa 'yon, but since I want everything to be perfect on his birthday, ngayon pa lamang ay nagpa-practice na akong gumawa ng cake.

"I heard you are leaving, Mom." ani nito. Rinig na rinig ko ang lungkot sa boses nito habang sinasabi 'yon.

Napanguso ako. "Anak, Mommy will be back naman e. I will just settle some things in Manila tapos babalik na ako sa inyo ni Daddy." binitawan ko ang hawak ko at nilapitan ang bata.

Lumuhod ako upang magkapantay kaming dalawa.

"Rix, I won't leave both of you. May gagawin lang si Mommy, hm? Will you let me? Baby?" tiningnan muna ako nito bago dahan dahang tumango.

"Promise me, you'll be back?"

I smiled. Hinaplos ko ang pisngi nito bago humalik doon. "Of course. Come on now, baby. Don't be sad, okay? Where's my jolly Cerix at?"

"Here!" malakas na sigaw nito bago yumakap sa aking leeg. I laughed.

My Cerix...

I never really imagined all this to happen. It just did. Natawa ako ng mahina. Kung meron man akong desisyon na hindi ko pinagsisihan hanggang ngayon, ito 'yon. My decision to stay with them. My decision to leave them and settle my life first before being with them... for the rest of my life.

I am now sure. Sure that I would be staying with them until the end. They are my choice. And I choose to be happy with this family.