Chapter 164 164

Chapter 164 164
EMILY

The moment the front door swung open, every word I had rehearsed on the drive over disappeared.

Ryan stood in the doorway, staring at me as though he couldn't quite believe I was there. 

Rainwater dripped from my hair onto the porch beneath my feet, my clothes were soaked through, and my chest rose and fell with uneven breaths after practically running from my car to his house. 

His brows knitted together with concern.

"What are you doing here?"

Before I could answer, my grandmother cleared her throat from somewhere behind him, reminding both of us that we weren't alone.

"I believe this is where I leave," she said calmly.

Only then did I notice she was inside Ryan's house.

My eyes widened in surprise as I looked from her to him and then back again. "Grandma... what are you doing here?"

She gave me the smallest smile, one that told me she already knew exactly why I'd come.

"We'll have that conversation another time."

I frowned, still trying to understand how she'd ended up in Ryan's living room.

"But—"

She raised a hand, gently cutting me off.

"The boy has been waiting long enough."

Then she looked at Ryan, giving him a small nod that I couldn't quite interpret before walking past me and stepping out into the rain. Within moments, she was making her way toward the waiting car without another word.

I watched her leave, completely bewildered.

Normally, I would have gone after her, but she wasn't the person occupying every corner of my mind.

Ryan was.

I looked back at him, and the sight of him standing there quietly waiting for me somehow made everything I'd been holding in feel impossibly heavy.

Without thinking, I took a few slow steps toward him.

He didn't move.

He simply watched me, giving me all the time in the world to close the distance between us.

By the time I stopped in front of him, tears had already begun to sting my eyes again.

I lifted my arms, intending to throw them around him, but halfway through the movement I caught sight of my sleeves. Water dripped steadily from the fabric, and my shoes had tracked mud onto his porch. The realization made me stop abruptly.

I couldn't hug him.

I'd soak him completely.

I let my hands fall awkwardly to my sides, suddenly feeling foolish for even trying.

Ryan noticed.

A soft smile touched his lips before he quietly closed the remaining distance between us himself.

He wrapped his arms around me without the slightest hesitation.

The warmth of his embrace shattered whatever composure I had left.

A sob escaped my lips before I could stop it, and then another followed until I was crying so hard that I could barely catch my breath. I buried my face against his chest while his arms tightened around me, one hand gently rubbing slow circles against my back as though he were trying to calm every storm inside me.

"It's okay," he murmured softly. "It's okay, Em."

I shook my head against him.

"No... it's not."

"You don't have to explain anything right now."

"I'm sorry."

"I know."

"I'm so... so sorry."

He rested his cheek lightly against the top of my head and continued stroking my back.

"I know."

There wasn't a trace of anger in his voice.

We stood there for what felt like forever while the rain continued falling around us, neither of us caring that we were both getting drenched. The only thing I could hear was the steady rhythm of his heartbeat beneath my ear, and somehow it reminded me of every moment I'd spent convincing myself I was stronger without him.

Eventually, Ryan leaned back just enough to look at me.

His thumb brushed away the tears that refused to stop falling before he smiled gently.

"You're freezing."

A watery laugh escaped me.

"So are you."

"I'll survive."

Before I could ask what he meant, one arm slipped behind my knees while the other wrapped around my back.

I blinked in surprise.

"Ryan..."

"You've already caught enough rain for one day."

The next thing I knew, my feet had left the ground.

I instinctively curled my fingers into the front of his shirt as he carried me effortlessly into the house, using his foot to push the front door closed behind us.

When we reached his bedroom, he gently lowered me onto the floor beside the bed before walking toward the wardrobe.

"You should take a hot shower," he said as he pulled open one of the drawers. "I'll find something for you to change into. I don't want you catching a cold after standing outside in that rain."

He had barely taken two steps when panic settled inside me.

"Ryan."

He stopped immediately and turned to look at me.

"Did you mean it?"

He frowned slightly.

"The things you told my grandmother."

For a brief moment, he simply looked at me.

Then the corners of his mouth lifted into the smallest smile.

"I meant every single word, Emily."

His voice was quiet but certain.

"You know I'm a fool when it comes to you. I've been one ever since the day you walked into my life at school, and I don't think that's ever going to change."

I felt another wave of tears gathering in my eyes.

"Why?" I whispered.

He let out a soft laugh, rubbing the back of his neck as though even now he couldn't explain it.

"I honestly don't know. Maybe because one ordinary day you walked into my life and somehow turned me into a man who couldn't imagine a future without you. I spent three years trying to figure out how to stop loving you, Em, and all I learned was that loving you isn't something I know how to quit."

The tears I'd managed to hold back spilled over again.

I stood there staring at him, wondering how two people could lose so many years. My heart ached for everything we'd been through, but it also ached because the man looking at me had never stopped loving me.

His eyes found mine again.

"I never stopped loving you."

A sob escaped before I could stop it.

"I'm sorry."

Ryan shook his head gently and crossed the remaining distance between us until only a few inches separated us.

"No, Em."

"I am." My voice trembled as fresh tears rolled down my cheeks. "I'm so sorry. I kept telling myself I was doing the right thing. I thought if I stayed away from you, I'd finally stop hurting. I wanted a fresh start so badly that I convinced myself the only way to have one was to leave you behind."

He reached for my hand, intertwining his fingers with mine before I could pull away.

"I understand."

I looked up at him, surprised.

"You do?"

"I do because I finally understand what trauma does to people."

His thumb gently brushed over my knuckles.

Ryan lifted his free hand and slowly tucked a damp strand of hair behind my ear, his fingertips lingering against my cheek as though he was making sure I was really standing there.

Before I could say anything else, he gently cupped my face with both hands and searched my eyes with a tenderness that made my heart ache.

"Can I kiss you?"

The question caught me completely off guard.

A broken laugh escaped through my tears as I nodded.

Ryan closed the small distance between us so slowly that he gave me every opportunity to change my mind, but I never once considered pulling away. The moment his lips met mine, every emotion I'd been carrying for years crashed over me at once.

The kiss was gentle at first, almost hesitant, as though neither of us wanted to rush something we'd waited far too long to have again. Then I reached for him, my hands finding the back of his neck as I pulled him closer, and the restraint between us disappeared.

By the time we finally pulled apart, both of us were breathless.

Ryan rested his forehead against mine and smiled, his eyes still closed.

"I've missed you so much."

I let out a shaky laugh.

"I've missed you too."

"I'm absolutely worried about you getting sick," he replied with a grin. "I've already lost so much time. I'm not losing another week because you decided standing in the rain was a good idea."

I smiled through my tears.

"I love you."

The words came so naturally that they surprised even me.

Ryan's smile softened, and for a moment he simply looked at me, as though hearing those words again was enough to heal a part of him he'd thought was gone forever.

"I love you too, Emily," he said quietly. "I never stopped, and I never will."

He leaned forward to kiss my forehead one last time before reluctantly letting go of my hands.

"I'll be right outside. Take your time."

I watched him walk toward the bedroom door, and just before he stepped out, he glanced back at me with the same smile that had made me fall in love with him all those years ago.