Chapter 17

Dublin, Ireland.

Carley.

I sit in my apartment and contemplate my next move, my options, and which one I am going to choose. I know he doesn’t love her, doesn’t want to be with her. He loves me, wants me. I saw it on his face today when he came into the hall and couldn’t sit next to me because she was there.

We knew, at that moment, that we would both have rather been together alone. I misjudged the breakfast, it was a misstep. But I won’t do it again. I power up my computer, and navigate to the search engine. I need to do research, need to find a way to eliminate her. Once she is out of the way, and isn’t confusing him with her presence, he will be mine again, he will come back to me.

* * *

Rae.

The club is different tonight, no presenters around, no stations set up for demonstrations. Tonight, it is full of couples or groups spread around the space using different equipment, and all enjoying themselves.

As my eyes move around the room they get caught on one specific scene, a woman is hanging from the ceiling by chains looped under her groin, she is nearly naked. Some type of sticks are attached to her nipples, my eyes glance over them.

“What are those?” I point the trio out to Edmund and he takes me by the elbow guiding me over. We watch from a distance ,but still close enough to enjoy the show their putting on.

“They’re nipple sticks, those look like they’re made of rattan. They can be metal, plastic, even bamboo.”

“Like clamps?” I ask, and he nods in response.

I go back to watching the scene, two men use various objects on their sub, a foam bat, paddles, and straps, all as she swings from the ceiling back and forth between them. As she approaches the man in front of her, he often makes contact with the sticks attached to her nipples, pulls them off, rubs them up and down her erect nipples and then recapturing them between the sticks. My pussy grows wetter the longer I watch. Imagining the stimulation on my own nipples makes me squirm, and I squeeze my thighs together. Feeling the rush of heat move over my skin, my cheeks are flushed with my blush from watching them.

“I have some clamps with me. Want to try them out?” Edmund whispers in my ear, when he presses against my behind, I can feel his erection and I know he is just as turned on by the scene as I am. I nod slowly, his hand trailing up my back, across the sensitive skin at the base of my neck. When he grabs my hair and jerks my head back, resting it on his shoulder I try to twist and look at him. “I asked you a question, kitten.”

“Yes, Master. I want to try them.”

“Good,” he purrs in my ear. “Come here.” Letting go of my hair I look back at the scene in front of me. “We’ll come back and watch. Come on.” Edmund pulls on my elbow and draws me to a dark corner. When he positions himself in the corner looking out at the room and anyone approaching, he places me in front of him, my back to the room so no one can see me.

“Lift your dress.” I take the short black dress by the hem and lift it up, exposing my naked breasts to him, still in bondage, perky, and presented to him with his beautiful rope work accentuating them. He bends his head to one nipple, catching it between his teeth and nipping, pulling, and flicking his tongue over it. When he stands up the cool air helps with the process and my nipple is hard, a perfect pebble on the tip of my rounded breast.

Edmund presents a clamp from his pocket and holds it up for me to see. When he closes it over the spot, he just nipped, I moan. Sucking in a sharp breath as he tightens it on me, the sting of pain shoots through me, straight to my pussy and I squeeze my legs together. The mixture of pleasure and pain brought on by the new sensation awakes something inside me. I need more.

“Master,” I say to him as I lean toward him for a kiss. “Thank you.”

He drops his head to the other breast and works on my nipple the same as he did the first. Once perfectly erect and ready for his clamp he applies the second one. This time I toss my head back and moan, he takes hold of both clamps and twists, and my knees nearly buckle.

Taking hold of the hem of my dress, he pulls it back down over my breasts and then my hips. I notice he leaves it hiked up just enough that the bottom of my rounded ass hangs out. I smile, but don’t protest. I allow him to show me off to the others in the club, his dried come stains still marking me as his.

As I move, the fabric of my dress gets caught on the clamps and twists and pulls them, with each step it is as if Edmund were pulling and twisting at the clamps again and again. By the time we reach the spot we once occupied watching the scene, I am soaked through my thong and I can feel the moisture on my thighs.

Edmund smiles and smacks my ass. I know he can smell me. “You smell incredible when you’re ready to be fucked, kitten.” He says, almost as if he read my mind.

We watch the men continue to spank, paddle, and torment the submissive hanging from the ceiling for a long while. Then I feel Edmund’s hand run up over my ass and under my dress to the small of my back.

“Come on, I want to play, kitten,” he murmurs in my ear and leads me away from them. Across the club, there is a small stage with an open table on it that Edmund is leading me toward. As I climb the stairs, I see him drop his gear bag on the ground and point to the table. I nod and make my way toward it, sitting on the edge of the table I wait for my next instruction.

“Take off your dress, kitten, then lie down on your back.”

“Yes, Master.” I lift my dress off over my head and hand it to him, he folds it and places it on top of his open bag.

Lying down, my hands at my sides I watch as he pulls out a series of floggers and straps. He holds each one up to me and waits for me to nod my approval or shake my head no. By the end of it, he has a pile of three floggers, a strap, and two different paddles on a smaller table next to me.

“Arms above your head, kitten.”

I reach over my head and feel him place my wrists into buckles and tighten them. Once I’m secured by the wrists he moves to my ankles and does the same.

“We’re going to give that ass of yours a break, but these,” he flicks one of the nipple clamps and I yelp, “are going to get some fun tonight.” Running his hand down my side, over my hip, and to my pussy he slips a finger into me. “This too.”

“Yes, Master,” I tell him, agreeing to his plan.

“I think you’ve had these on long enough,” he pulls on both clamps at once and they pop off, the pain shoots through me and I cry out. It is more painful having them removed than when he put them on, but it is an incredible feeling. Goosebumps spread over my body and I sigh as the feeling dissipates.

“Don’t worry, I’ll kiss it and make it better later,” he whispers in my ear and bends to the table next to me. As he stands I see the leather strap in his hand and my eyes widen.

* * *

Edmund.

I watch Rae’s pupils dilate as she sees the strap in my hand, it turns me on and drives me forward toward her. When I bring the leather down on her breast, I see the flash of red on her pale skin spreading and I smile.

Hitting the other breast and then her tummy and hips softly as I make my way down her body, she arches her back and moans. I know this is what she needed tonight. I knew she would tell me she still wanted to come when I offered her the option of hunting instead. She needs to be punished and needs the physical feelings on her body to ground her.

“What are your safewords, kitten?” I check in with her.

“Yellow and red. If I need someone outside of the scene to step in I say safeword.” Happy she remembered, I nod at her.

“Good girl. Ready?”

“Yes, Master. Ready.” She squeezes her eyes closed and waits for me to make my move. I don’t move a muscle.

“Open your eyes and look at me, Rae,” I give her the command and wait for her to follow my instructions. As soon as she does I slap her pussy with the strap and her moan fills the space around us.

I make my way around the table, using the strap on her thighs and up her sides to her breasts, not hitting hard, but just hard enough to get the pink shade I love to see on her skin. She is squirming on the table and I know she is enjoying herself. I’m rock hard in my pants and it's going to take everything I have not to mount her here in front of the growing crowd.

* * *

Rae.

Edmund puts down the strap and picks up one of the floggers, this one is large, suede with long falls spread across my chest as he trails it down over my body. I don’t see that he has something else in his other hand until it is too late, I catch a glimpse of the pink egg as he runs it up and down my slit.

When he pushes it inside of me, he immediately pushes the buttons on the remote and the pulsing vibrations in my pussy start, I clamp down around it and moan loudly. Pulling the flogger up he lets the falls drop down onto my thighs, not hard, but the weight of it sends a ripple through my body, and combined with the pulsing deep inside me it pushes me toward the edge.

“Master?” I croak out the word.

“Yes, kitten?” he coos at me as he drops the flogger onto my thighs again, the muddy sensation of it spreads through me again.

“Do I have permission to come?”

“Now?” He teases me. “Seems awfully fast there, kitten.”

“Not now, Master. I just me—” My words get cut off when he presses another button on the remote for the egg and the pulsing speeds up and grows stronger.

“What was that?” he asks. His tone teasing again.

“I was asking if I could come at all.” I rush out the words, trying to get them out. I’m panting already with the pulsing deep inside me, muscles clamp down around the egg and I arch my back off the table. With my wrists and ankles cuffed I can barely move. I squirm against them.

Edmund continues to flog me gently, it is a slow-building burn across my skin, soon it feels like I’m on fire from the inside out. I’m close to coming, but I realize he never gave me permission. Never answered my question. I whine.

“What’s the matter, kitten?” he teases, dropping the flogger on me again, then trailing the falls up over my belly to my breasts and continuing the punishing pace there.

I look at him. “Master?” I whine, a sweat has broken out over my body and I realize how badly I’ve been holding back. How close I am to letting go, the slow burn of the inferno inside me coming alive and scalding me now.

“Oh. You want to come, kitten?”

“Yes!” I scream out the word when he smacks my pussy with his open palm and I squeeze my eyes closed. I see stars on my eyelids and nearly explode then and there.

“You can come, come for me. I want to watch you squirt all over this table.” He smacks me again, and again, each time he does it shifts the egg inside me and the intense vibrations move me closer to the orgasm I’m chasing.

When he lifts and drops the flogger across my breasts, harder this time, using more than just its own weight on me, I flinch and then come undone. I feel the gush of come coat me, my thighs, the table beneath me. Edmund’s hand slips up my slit and he finds my clit quickly, I feel him pull the egg from me and when he presses the vibrator to my clit, I scream.

Not caring who hears me, or who is watching, I need more. Holding it firmly against my clit, applying more and more pressure and then rocking it back and forth over the taut bud has me coming again. The flogger again comes down on my breasts, my nipples still sensitive from the extended time with the clamps on, scream with the pain of it, as the falls bite into my skin.

An incredible mix of emotion spreads through me, rage at myself is released and I relax. The tension I have been holding in my shoulders is eased, and I let go of so much hatred I had been holding onto. When he hits me a third time across the breasts and the bite of the flogger shocks me, I squeeze my eyes closed, and for the first time in a year, I don’t see the images of men in my mind, I see only him, only Edmund, my Master.

When I open my eyes he is staring down at me, the vibrator still pressed to my clit, the flogger in his hand, he brings it down over me a fourth time and I cry out again, nearing my third orgasm.

“Come again for me, kitten. Let go, let it all go.” His permission does something inside me and I feel tears well up in my eyes, not from the pain, not from the pleasure, from all of it. Overwhelmed by all of it, I weep as I come again, and again. My body relaxes completely on the table, muscles that were bunched, smoothed and I let go of it all.

I look up into Edmund’s eyes as tears slip from the corners of mine. “Thank you, Master,” I whisper to him and he nods.

“I think we’re done for the night.” I nod back and watch as he un cuffs my ankles, moving to do the same with my wrists, then he helps me sit up.

While I sit on the edge of the table he slowly undoes the rope harness from around my chest, by the time it is off of me I am exhausted. My body feels so light and I feel renewed, but I am sore and ready to curl up and sleep.

“I brought you these.” Edmund digs through his gear bag and presents me with a pair of plaid pajama pants and a tank top. I smile at his thoughtfulness and let him slip the tank top over my head. Standing I slide into the pants and sit back down on the edge of the table.

“Let me get this cleaned up.” Edmund motions toward his bag and then the table and I stand, stepping to the side, letting him go about his business. A short moment later he is finished wiping down the equipment and his bag is packed up. “Come on, kitten.” His hushed words fill my ear as he guides me down the stairs and to the social area with couches.

We fall onto the oversized sofa into the same spot we spent our first night together here, I am curled the same way in his arms and quickly drift off.

* * *

Edmund.

I scan the room around me, talking to a few of my friends as I sit with Rae curled up on my lap. She is exhausted, today did not start out as we had planned, but fortunately, tonight went well. I love having her here with me, being in my element with her, it is an incredible feeling.

When I hear the voice from behind me, I know in an instant who will be there when I turn around, Carley. I can’t handle this right now, Rae can’t handle this right now. I shift her in my lap and slide her to the sofa, slipping out from underneath her body as carefully as I can.

“Nick?” I call my buddy sitting on the opposite end of the couch with his partner. I point down at the still sleeping Rae. “Can you keep an eye on her for a minute? If she wakes up, tell her I went to take a piss. I’ll be right back.”

“Eddie!” Carley’s voice carries through the club and I tense.

Nick gives me a knowing look and nods his head. “I’ve got, Rae. Go handle that.” He points over his shoulder at Carley, and I nod my appreciation.

Making my way through the crowd toward her as she does the same we meet in the middle of the club. “Eddie!” she calls me by her little nickname again, and I cringe.

“Carley, what do you want? What are you doing here? Are you following us?” Looping my hand through her arm I pull her toward the front door and out onto the sidewalk.

“I came to see you, baby.” She leans up on her toes, hand on my chest and makes to kiss me on the cheek. I dodge it and the look in her eyes tells me she is livid. She knows exactly what she is doing, she isn’t as crazy as she is making herself out to be.

“Listen to me, Carley. I’m going to tell you this once and I expect you to respect what I say and move on. I’m with Rae now. I am not with you.” I try to keep it short and precise I don’t want any chance for her to turn my words around. “You cannot show up at my house or follow us around town. It’s over between us Carley. It has been for a year. Please move on. Let it go.”

Tears fill her eyes and I take a deep breath. I had anticipated this, and now I’m going to look like the asshole who leaves a woman crying on the sidewalk, but I can’t leave Rae alone inside any longer than I have.

“Goodbye, Carley. Go home.” I turn and head back into the club. When I find Rae she is sitting up next to Nick and chatting with his partner.

“Hey!” She smiles at me, raising an eyebrow. “Is everything okay?”

“Yes, it is. Just another small issue, similar to the one we had at breakfast.” Trying to gloss over it I hope she doesn’t question me. But I know Rae, and I know the look on her face.

“Similar to, or the same issue?” she asks as she shifts on the couch.

“The same.” I’m honest with her.

She nods at me. “Are you ready to go home?”

“If you are.” Reaching toward her, I pull her from the couch and into my arms, resting my chin on top of her head. “I handled it. Everything is under control.”

“I trust you. But I don’t think it is under control. I think this issue is going to keep rearing its ugly head, it is just a feeling I have.” I nod, concern filling me because I have the same feeling, even though I tried to play it off to Rae. I don’t think we’ve seen the last of Carley.

* * *

Kildare, Ireland.

Rae.

I nod off on the ride home, but as we get closer to the keep I shift in my seat and turn to Edmund.

“I’m moving back to the keep.” I see his face light up, even in the darkness of the car, and I know he is thrilled. I knew he would be. Butterflies fill my stomach as I consider the idea of moving into his apartment with him, but I keep that part to myself for now.

“I’m not going to pretend that I’m not excited about it, Rae. You know I want to have you close. I’d like it if you moved in with me.”

“Slow down there, I don’t think we’re ready for that yet. But I won’t pretend I haven’t considered it.” I chew on my lower lip, mulling over how closely his words mirror my own thoughts.

Edmund reaches his hand over and squeezes my thigh. I sigh, loving every moment that he has his hands on me and I can feel our connection.

“We still on for hunting in the morning?” I change the subject.

“Of course, as long as you want to.” I nod in response and go back to looking out the window, exhausted from the night at the club and ready to be curled in my bed with Edmund’s arms wrapped around me.

* * *

Kildare, Ireland – Monday.

Rae.

Crouching in the wood line with the wolf flanking me I watch the pack of deer as they cross the open field and head straight for us. My heart is racing and I can hear Edmund’s calm, slow, and steady. I roll my eyes at him, he is such a pro at this he doesn’t even get worked up anymore.

Listening to the birds as they come to life in the trees above us I get lost in the peace of the moment. Edmund doesn’t move, he waits for me to make the decision and lunge forward. I wait, still not ready, wanting the perfect moment to present itself to me.

Rising up on the balls of my feet I spring into action and burst through the edge of the clearing onto the doe who dared to step close enough to me. I sink my fangs into her and relish the warm blood as it fills my mouth. It isn’t all that I have been craving, but it is enough and I smile as I watch Edmund take down his doe and dig in.

After we finish our meals he shifts back, dresses, and leans back on his elbows next to me, where I sit leaning against a white oak tree. “Better?” he asks me, and I know exactly what he means. He wants to know if this helped the craving. If I feel better now that I’ve fed on something and if I’ll be able to control myself.

“I don’t know if it will be that easy.” I blow out a long sigh through puffed cheeks and look at him. “But thank you for the idea. Yes, it helped. I think I’m going to have to do this every morning in order to keep my cravings down.”

“Then we do it every morning.” He squeezes my hand and I smile.

“You’re not going to get tired of me?”

“Never.” Edmund kisses my cheek and I blush at his caring for me. “I could hunt with you every morning for the rest of eternity and never get tired of you, Rae.”

I look down at my hands, wringing them together nervously. “You wouldn’t rather be with someone, less… complicated?”

“Rae, I’m not less complicated, why would I want to be with someone who was? I’m in line to be the Alpha of the Caomhanach pack. I have my own set of issues that come with that. Look at how many times someone has shown up here on our lands and tried to eliminate us. You don’t think that you would want to be with someone less complicated?”

I’d never considered this a thing, Edmund is Edmund, end of discussion he is who and what he is.

“I really hadn’t ever put any thought into that. You are who you are and I love you for it.” I freeze, realizing what I just said. It isn’t like this is the first time I’ve told Edmund I love him, but it is the first time since we have been mates that I have said it and that brings an entirely different meaning to it. Watching him for a reaction, I see a smile spread slowly over his lips.

“I love you for who you are, too, Rae. I couldn’t imagine getting tired of that. It isn’t like I haven’t known you my entire life. Not like I don’t know what to expect from you. I know everything about you, every scar, every tear you’ve cried, I know it all, Rae and I still love you. All of you.”

“Wow, so that just got real, really fast.” I tease him. “Are you sure about this? I mean, really sure?” My muscles tense as I wait for him to respond.

“How could I not be, Rae? And why are you asking me this now? Is this about Carley?” I hiss when he says her name, my nostrils flaring. I want to tear her limb from limb for the stunt she pulled yesterday. It still stings that she showed up last night at The Playhouse and ruined our night together, or the end of it at least.

“No, it isn’t about her. It’s about me, us. I’m still trying to navigate you from brother and friend, to lover and Master. You’re like two different people to me, the friend I grew up with and then you. You here with me now, last night. It is like you’re an entirely different person and I can’t reconcile it in my brain, Edmund. I can’t wrap my head around being with Edmund, my God, I mean, you’re Edmund.”

“Rae, I know who I am. What you said didn’t make any sense.” He runs his hand up and down my leg, his fingers trailing over my thigh and the thrumming of electricity between us awakes inside me as he speaks.

“Shut up! It did. It makes sense in my head. I’m just trying to figure out who I am and who you are and who we are together.”

“We’re still us, we are just us with a little spice.” He chuckles and I roll my eyes at him, leaning my head on his shoulder.

“What do you want to do today?” I ask him, trying to shift the conversation to something lighter.

“This.” Edmund wraps his arms around me and pulls me on top of him as he rolls onto his back in the grass. “I want to do this, right here, all day with you. Just us.”

Leaning down I smile and kiss him, I watch his eyes sparkle in the sunlight and know he is happy with who he is, the Alpha he will one day be. I need to find a way to be happy with who I am. I don’t know how to let this incredible man love me if I hate myself.