Chapter 30 “ICE” I
My heart or Jasper's words—I don't know which took me back to his bedroom. It wasn't until I was standing right before his door that I realized what I was doing.
Why was I even here? No. It couldn't be Jasper's words. He was going to tell me he loved me? And? That does not erase everything he has done. Attempting to tell me he loves me is nothing but a tactic of manipulation—a manipulative piece of crap. But why wasn't I turning around? Why were my legs stuck? Why weren't they moving? Why wasn't I taking the opportunity to not only free myself from Alpha Dawn's obsession but also give Sable the chance to fulfill her dream and prove myself a good friend to her?
Worse still—why was I twisting the doorknob and stepping inside?
My heart pounded. He was seated upright on his bed, one leg rested over the other, his shoes still on. He was still in his turtleneck and pants, a glass of liquor in his hand.
He watched me slip inside shamelessly, as if I hadn't been pleading with him in tears to release me just a few minutes ago.
He brought the glass to his lips and sipped slowly, his intense gaze still pinned on me as I moved closer. I took the glass from his hand and gulped down the entirety of the liquor, my throat burning harshly.
He kept staring, even as I abandoned the glass on the side table and crouched low to peck his lips.
He did not move, even as I climbed on top of him on the bed, straddling him and seating myself on his hardness.
When I began moving on his erection, breathing harshly from the sensation, his hand cupped my thigh, riding up slowly, his intense eyes still fixed on me. His hand slipped further under my skirt to cup my butt. His other hand wrapped around my neck, drawing me closer. He went for my lower lip first, taking a small bite. Then, he captured my lips in his hungry mouth, kissing me desperately as if his survival depended on it.
I let him kiss me. Let him choke me while twisting my waist on his hard groin. Let him cup and knead my butt while his lips devoured mine.
We broke the kiss. His tongue darted out, swirling over my neck, down to my neckline, then my cleavage. His tongue kept traveling downward until it reached my breast area, tasting my hard nipples through the fabric of my top.
I took his hand from my neck and guided it to my breast. He began kneading, his thumb occasionally brushing over my nipples.
I let my hand brush his hard bulge through his pants. I unzipped his pants and dug my hand inside, taking hold of him through his briefs.
He stopped me immediately, his hands leaving my breast and my butt.
"What?" I whispered.
"Don't start what you can't finish."
"But I want this," I breathed.
"You'll do this and go back to telling me to leave you."
"I'm not leaving."
That wasn't entirely a lie. Keyword: entirely.
"I thought you could read emotions," I continued. "You should see I really want this."
He stared.
"You scare me," he whispered, sounding helpless.
I frowned. "What does that even mean?"
"You did the same in the cabin and went back to saying you hate me."
I palmed his cheek, feeling the hints of stubble beneath my palm. "You make me feel good. I've never wanted this with any man. Not even Ian." I recalled his death and swallowed. "I've never experienced it before, and my friend told me my first time would feel like getting it off my chest and forgetting about it."
I adjusted, feeling his hardness against my thigh. "But with you," I continued, "I want to experience it again and again. I don't ever want to stop. I can't get the feeling of you sliding into me that night out of my head. It made me feel like I was on cloud nine. I want this. I want you."
His hand returned to my thigh, squeezing softly. "There is no going back, Bambi. If we do this, you'll unlock another level of obsession you haven't seen. Do you still want this?"
Fuck this.
"Your obsession makes this better."
I gulped after saying that because it was the truth. I don't act like it, but his obsession turns me on.
Alpha Dawn laid me down, settling on top of me.
I pulled his pants down. He leaned in, pressing himself directly against my opening through my panties. A soft moan escaped me as he rubbed himself gently against the fabric.
His lips captured mine roughly. I tried grabbing his shoulder for support, but his grip instantly caught my hands, pinning both wrists above my head.
He used his other hand to yank off my panties, his thumb immediately brushing the entrance. I sighed softly, recalling that night he had tortured me and denied me orgasm.
"Please, don't deny me orgasm again, Alpha," I whispered into the air, wondering if he heard.
He slipped one finger inside me, drawing a soundless moan from my lips. My eyes closed as my body relaxed into his heavenly touch. His finger slid out, and after a few moments, it was replaced by something cold. I opened my eyes, attempting to look, but his strong grip pinned me down.
It was smooth and very cold. It took me a moment to realize it was ice from his liquor. He let go of my hands and placed the ice between his lips after teasing it around my core.
He leaned down, all the way to my thigh.
A sharp gasp escaped me when I felt the ice block again against my core, his lips giving it a guide. It felt cold and smooth and heavenly.
Small moans escaped me as his lips guide the ice in and out briefly, his lips occasionally kissing my core. I began twisting my hips but he immediately hold my hips still.
He withdraws and flips me onto my stomach effortlessly.
"On your knees," he commands.
I obey. He takes off my top, leaving me bare-chested. A few moments later, his hand grips my throat, pulling me closer to him. He's bare-chested too, his pants gone, leaving only his briefs. I melt into his broad chest and move slightly, feeling his hardness press against my butt.
"Do you know what a safe word is?"
He asks this while sliding up my skirt to cup my butt. I shake my head.
"We use it to communicate emotions." I hear a shuffle, and I assume it's his briefs coming off. I stay in position, on my knees, leaning flushed against him. "You say the word when you don't feel safe, or when you want me to stop doing something you don't like."
What the fuck does that even mean?
"Our safe word is 'ice.'"
"How do I use it—?" My words are cut short by a gasp when I feel him slide into me from behind.
"Use it whenever you want me to stop," he whispers, thrusting in slowly, his hand still gripping my throat.
I close my eyes, throwing my head back as I try to take in the sharp pain coupled with the pleasure.
"Do you want me to stop?" he murmurs into my ear. My breath comes out sharp, making it impossible to answer. "Say 'Ice.'"
"No," I whisper breathlessly. "Please… take it slow."
He tongue swipes my ear and whispers, "I will, baby."
His thrusts steady—slow and deliberate—driving me closer to the edge. One hand cups my breast while the other grips my throat, his finger pushing into my mouth as it falls open in moans. My hands rest on his thighs as he continues thrusting carefully, and I notice how rough and hairy they feel.
"Tell me when you want me to go faster."
His words echo in my head. My mind is clouded, the sensation of his length sliding in and out driving me insane. I lean my head back against his shoulder, finally able to see his face.
I pull him into a kiss immediately—rough, hungry. I break away just enough to whisper against his lips, "Fast."
He increases his pace, his grip around my throat tightening. I capture his lips again, biting down hard on his lower lip to suppress my moans until I taste metal. Blood. I realize I've cut him, and we share the taste in an even rougher kiss. When we break apart, I twist my hips, grinding harder into him. I twist and grind, moaning loudly, the sound swallowing his own breathy moans.
I'm close. Just a few more thrusts.
As my climax builds, Dawn suddenly slides out, flips me to face him, and keeps his hand firm on my throat. He guides me to sit on his lap, kissing me hungrily. I kiss him back, my orgasm finally crashing over me, spilling out onto his lap.
When the kiss breaks, I open my eyes—and freeze.
The mirror behind me reflects my glowing eyes and a sharp claw. Slowly, I look up at Alpha Dawn. My heart skips when I see the scratches on his thighs, shoulder blades, and biceps—deep claw marks.
"I… did this?"