Chapter 7 0007
CAITLYN’S POV
I couldn’t stop shaking even though the hospital room was warm. My hands trembled so much I had to hide them under the blanket so nobody would see. Everything felt like it was falling apart and I didn’t know how to fix it.
The door opened, and I looked up, hoping it wasn’t Collin coming back, but my heart stopped when I saw my dad walk in. He looked tired and worried and seeing him made me want to cry all over again.
“Caitlyn,” he said softly, coming over to sit in the chair next to my bed. “How are you feeling, sweetheart?”
“I’m okay,” I lied because I couldn’t tell him the truth, not the real truth about what I’d done.
He reached out and took my hand. His hands were warm and rough from all the work he did at the church. I used to think my dad was the best man in the world. I used to think he could fix anything. But he couldn’t fix this.
“You gave us quite a scare today,” he said, trying to smile but I could see the worry in his eyes. “Your mom wanted to come but she’s at home preparing everything for when you get discharged tomorrow.”
“I’m sorry,” I whispered and tears started to fall. “I didn’t mean to ruin everything.”
“You didn’t ruin anything,” my dad said firmly. “These things happen, the important thing is you’re healthy and safe.”
I wanted to tell him I wasn’t safe, I wanted to tell him about Jaxon and the baby and how scared I was, but I couldn’t because he’d be so disappointed. He raised me to be good and pure and I failed him completely.
“Dad,” I started but then stopped because I didn’t know what to say.
“What is it?” he asked kindly, leaning forward. “You can tell me anything, Caitlyn, you know that.”
But I couldn’t tell him this, that I was pregnant with another man’s baby, that I had slept with a stranger in a bar just days before my wedding. He’d never look at me the same.
“I’m just nervous about starting my new life with Collin,” I said instead. “Everything is changing so fast.”
My dad nodded like he understood, but really, he didn’t. Nobody did.
“Change can be scary,” he said. “But Collin is a good man. He will take care of you and your mom, and I am always here if you need us.”
I almost laughed because Collin was not a good man. I didn’t know much about him but I knew that much. There was something cold in his eyes, something that made me feel trapped even though I was free.
“I know,” I said, forcing a smile. “Thanks for coming to see me.”
“Of course,” my dad said, squeezing my hand. “I should let you rest though. You need your strength for tomorrow.”
He stood up and kissed my forehead. I watched him walk to the door and wanted to call him back, to beg him to take me home and protect me like when I was little, but I wasn’t little anymore, and he couldn’t protect me from this.
The door closed and I was alone again. I stared at the ceiling and tried to figure out what I was going to do. The baby growing inside me right now was Jaxon’s baby, and I had to make Collin think it was his, or everything would be ruined.
My stomach turned at the thought of sleeping with Collin. I didn’t love him, I wasn’t even sure I liked him, but I had to do it. There was no other choice.
I thought about Jaxon and how he had looked at me in the hospital room. He said he wouldn’t let Collin raise his child. What did that even mean? Was he going to take the baby away? Was he going to tell everyone the truth?
I felt sick and it had nothing to do with the pregnancy. Everything was such a mess, and it was all my fault. I should have stayed home that night; I should’ve never gone to that bar. I should’ve been stronger.
But I wasn’t strong. I was weak and stupid and now I had to live with the consequences.
The next morning a nurse came and told me I could go home, but it wasn’t really home. It was Collin’s house and I was just going to be living there like some kind of guest who couldn’t leave.
My mom arrived with clean clothes and helped me get dressed. She kept talking about how excited she was for me to start my new life but I barely heard her. I was too busy trying not to throw up from the morning sickness.
“Are you feeling alright, dear?” my mom asked, touching my forehead. “You look pale.”
“I’m fine,” I said quickly. “Just tired from everything yesterday.”
She nodded and helped me with my shoes. I felt like a child again, being dressed by my mom but kids didn’t have to worry about hiding pregnancies and lying to their husbands.
Collin was waiting in the lobby when we got downstairs. He smiled when he saw me and came over to take my arm like I might fall at any second. My mom thought it was sweet but I knew better. He was just playing for everyone watching.
“Thanks for taking such good care of her,” Collin said to my mom. “I’ll make sure she gets plenty of rest at home.”
“That’s good,” my mom said and hugged me goodbye. “Call me if you need anything, sweetheart.”
I watched her leave and felt completely alone even though Collins was standing right next to me. His car was outside and his driver opened the door. I got in and tried not to think about what was going to happen next.
The Hayes villa was huge and cold and nothing like the small warm house I grew up in. Collin gave me a tour but I barely paid attention. I just kept thinking about what I had to do. I had to seduce him, I had to make him think the baby was his. I had to survive.
“Are you listening?” Collin asked and I realized he had been talking to me.
“Sorry,” I said. “I’m still feeling a little out of it from yesterday.”
“Why don’t you go rest,” he suggested. “I have some work to do in my study anyway.”
I nodded and went upstairs to the bedroom. It was massive with a huge bed and fancy furniture. Everything looked perfect and untouched like nobody really lived here.
I sat on the bed and put my head in my hands. I could do this, I had to do this. There was no other choice; I would seduce Collin and make him believe the baby was his, and everything would be fine.
But nothing felt fine. Everything felt wrong and broken, and I didn’t know if I could ever fix it, but I had to try because the alternative was way too awful to even think about.
Tonight I will go to him. Tonight I’d do what needed to be done, and I would hate myself for it, but that didn’t matter anymore.