Chapter 147 Breaking Point
CAITLYN'S POV
I was at the grocery store with Emma when someone recognized me. A woman may be forty years old. She walked right up to me with her phone out.
"You are Caitlyn Cross," she said. Not a question. An accusation.
"Yes," I said. I tried to keep walking but she blocked my cart.
"I saw those photos," the woman said. "You were a party girl. A drunk. No wonder your husband beat you. You probably deserved it."
I felt like I had been slapped. "Excuse me?"
"You heard me," the woman said. "You are a liar. Everyone knows it. You should be in jail not walking around free."
"Please leave me alone," I said. My voice was shaking.
"Or what?" the woman said. "You going to have me arrested? Going to cry abuse like you always do?"
People were starting to stare. Taking out their phones. Recording. I felt trapped. Humiliated. Terrified.
"Please," I said. "I have my baby with me. Just let me go."
"That poor baby," the woman said. "Having a mother like you. Someone should call child services."
That did it. Something inside me broke. I abandoned my cart and ran. Pushed past the woman and ran out of the store with Emma. Got to my car and locked the doors. Sat there shaking and crying.
My phone started buzzing. Social media notifications. Someone had posted a video of what just happened. The confrontation. Me running away. People were commenting. Calling me a coward. Saying I ran because I was guilty. Saying I could not handle being confronted with the truth.
I drove home barely able to see through my tears. When I got there Jason was waiting. He took one look at me and knew something was wrong.
"What happened?" he asked.
I told him. About the woman. About what she said. About the video. By the time I finished, I was sobbing so hard I could barely breathe.
"I cannot do this anymore," I said. "I cannot go out in public. Cannot live a normal life. Everywhere I go people recognize me. Judge me. Attack me."
"That woman had no right to talk to you like that," Jason said. "What she said was harassment. We can report her."
"To whom?" I asked. "The police? For what? Saying mean things? That is not illegal."
"It should be," Jason said.
"It does not matter," I said. "Because she is right. Everyone thinks I am lying. Everyone thinks I deserved what Collin did to me. My entire life is public. Every mistake I ever made is out there for everyone to see and judge."
"Those people do not matter," Jason said. "They do not know you."
"But they think they do," I said. "They see those photos from college and think they know who I am. They read Vanessa's lies and believe them. And nothing I say will change their minds."
"Then stop trying to change their minds," Jason said. "Stop caring what strangers think."
"I wish I could," I said. "But I cannot. I cannot stop caring that people think I am a criminal. They think I am a liar. That they think I deserved to be abused."
"Caitlyn," Jason said. He took my hands. "You need to listen to me. Those people do not know you. They do not know what you went through. They do not know how brave you are. How strong you are. They see photos and articles and think they understand. But they do not. Only the people who love you understand. And we know the truth."
"The truth does not seem to matter anymore," I said. "Lies spread faster. Get more attention. Stick in people's minds longer. The truth is boring. The lies are exciting."
"Maybe," Jason said. "But the truth is still the truth. And eventually it wins."
"When?" I asked. "When does the truth win? Because right now it feels like lies are winning."
I went to the bedroom and closed the door. Sat on the bed and put my head in my hands. I was so tired. So overwhelmed. So done with all of this.
There was a knock on the door. "Caitlyn?" Jason said. "Can I come in?"
"I want to be alone," I said.
"I know," Jason said. "But I am coming in anyway."
He opened the door and sat next to me on the bed. Did not say anything. Just sat there. Being present.
"I want to disappear," I said. "I want to take Emma and go somewhere no one will ever find us. Change our names. Start completely over. Never testify. Never deal with any of this again."
"Okay," Jason said. "If that is what you want we can do that."
"Really?" I asked. "You would do that? Give up everything?"
"If it means keeping you safe," Jason said. "If it means keeping you from breaking. Yes. I would do that."
"But what about justice?" I asked. "What about the trials? What about making sure those men go to prison?"
"Justice is not worth your mental health," Jason said. "It is not worth your breaking down. If you need to walk away then we walk away."
"But then they win," I said. "Vanessa wins. The defendants win. Everyone who tried to destroy me wins."
"Maybe," Jason said. "But you survive. And that is more important."
I thought about it. Really thought about it. Walking away. Disappearing. Never having to face another courtroom. Another defense attorney. Another news camera. It sounded so appealing.
But then I thought about Emma. About the world I wanted her to grow up in. A world where people who hurt others face consequences. Where victims get justice. Where truth matters.
"I cannot walk away," I said. "As much as I want to. I cannot. Because if I walk away those men go free. And they will hurt other people. And I will have to live knowing I could have stopped them but did not."
"You do not owe anyone anything," Jason said. "You have already done enough. More than enough."
"Have I?" I asked. "Because it does not feel like enough. It feels like I am failing. Failing to make people believe me. Failing to get justice. Failing at everything."
"You are not failing," Jason said. "You are surviving. And survival is not failure. It is a success."
"It does not feel like success," I said.
My phone rang. It was Linda, my therapist. I had missed our last two appointments. Had been too overwhelmed to go.
"I should answer this," I said.
"Okay," Jason said. He left the room to give me privacy.
"Hi Linda," I said when I answered.
"Caitlyn," Linda said. "I have been worried about you. You missed our appointments. Are you okay?"
"No," I said honestly. "I am not okay. I am the opposite of okay."
"Tell me what is going on," Linda said.
I told her everything. About Vanessa doubling down. About the photos. About the woman at the grocery store. About wanting to disappear. By the time I finished, I was crying again.
"That sounds incredibly difficult," Linda said. "You are dealing with ongoing harassment and public scrutiny. That would break anyone."
"I feel like I am breaking," I said. "Like I am falling apart and I cannot stop it."
"You are not falling apart," Linda said. "You are having a normal response to an abnormal situation. Anyone would struggle with what you are going through."
"What do I do?" I asked. "How do I keep going?"
"One day at a time," Linda said. "One hour
At a time if you need to. You do not have to think about the trials. About the future. Just focus on getting through today."