Chapter 115 Pre-Wedding Jitters
CAITLYN'S POV
It was the night before my wedding and I could not sleep. Not because I was scared or having second thoughts but because I was too excited. Too happy. Too ready for tomorrow to come.
I was lying in bed at Sarah's apartment. She had insisted I stay with her the night before so Jason and I would not see each other until the ceremony. Said it was tradition. I thought it was silly but I went along with it.
Sarah was asleep in her bed across the room. I could hear her breathing. Slow and steady. I wished I could fall asleep that easily but my mind would not stop racing. Would not stop thinking about tomorrow. About the wedding. About becoming Jason's wife.
My phone buzzed. A text from Jason.
"You awake?"
I smiled and texted back. "Yeah. Cannot sleep. Too excited."
"Me too," he wrote. "Tommy is snoring. I am just lying here thinking about tomorrow."
"What are you thinking?" I wrote.
"That I am the luckiest man alive," he wrote. "That I get to marry you tomorrow. That I get to spend the rest of my life with you."
I felt tears forming. Happy tears. Jason always knew what to say. Always knew how to make me feel loved.
"I am the lucky one," I wrote back. "I cannot believe this is really happening. That I am really marrying you tomorrow."
"Believe it," Jason wrote. "Tomorrow you become Mrs. Cross. Tomorrow we start our forever."
"I love you," I wrote.
"I love you too," he wrote. "Now try to get some sleep. Big day tomorrow."
"You too," I wrote. "See you at the altar."
"See you at the altar," he wrote back.
I put my phone down and stared at the ceiling. Thought about my first wedding. The night before I married Collin I had been a mess. Crying. Panicking. Wanting to run. I had known it was a mistake. Known I was marrying the wrong man. But I had felt trapped. Like I had no other choice.
This was completely different. Tonight I was not scared. Not panicking. Not wanting to run. Tonight I was just excited. Ready. Happy.
Because tomorrow I was marrying the right man. The man I had always loved. The man who had saved me. The man who had given me a second chance at happiness.
I put my hand on my stomach. Felt the baby move. Tomorrow our baby will be there when we get married. Would be a part of the ceremony. A part of our family.
"Tomorrow is a big day little one," I whispered. "Tomorrow your mommy and daddy are getting married. Tomorrow we become a real family."
The baby kicked and I smiled. Even the baby seemed excited.
Sarah rolled over in her bed.
"You still awake?" she asked. Her voice was sleepy.
"Yeah," I said. "Sorry. Did I wake you?"
"No," Sarah said. "I just heard you moving around. You okay?"
"I am great," I said. "Just too excited to sleep."
"That is a good sign," Sarah said. "Means you are happy. Means you are making the right choice."
"I know I am making the right choice," I said. "I have never been more sure of anything in my life."
"That is beautiful," Sarah said. "Most brides are nervous the night before. Worried they are making a mistake. But not you. You are just happy."
"Is that weird?" I asked.
"No," Sarah said. "It is perfect. It is how it should be."
We were quiet for a minute. Then Sarah spoke again.
"Can I ask you something?" she said.
"Sure," I said.
"What was it like?" Sarah asked. "The night before your first wedding? Were you excited then too?"
"No," I said. "I was terrified. I cried all night. Wanted to run away. Wanted to call it off. But I felt like I could not. Like I had to go through with it."
"That must have been awful," Sarah said.
"It was," I said. "I knew I was making a mistake. Knew I was marrying the wrong man. But I did it anyway. And I paid for it. For years I paid for it."
"But now you are free," Sarah said. "Now you get to marry the right man."
"Now I get to marry the right man," I repeated. "And I cannot wait. I have been waiting my whole life for this."
"How do you know Jason is the right man?" Sarah asked. "How can you be so sure?"
"Because when I am with him everything feels right," I said. "I do not have to pretend. Do not have to be someone I am not. I can just be me. And he loves me anyway. Loves me because of who I am. Not despite it."
"That is real love," Sarah said.
"It is," I said. "And I almost lost it. Almost let fear keep me from being with him. But I did not. I chose love. I chose him. And tomorrow I get to make that choice official."
"You are going to be a beautiful bride," Sarah said. "And Jason is going to cry when he sees you. I am calling it now."
"You think so?" I asked.
"I know so," Sarah said. "Tommy said Jason has been emotional all week. Said he keeps tearing up whenever he talks about the wedding. About you. About becoming a husband and a father."
"Really?" I asked. I felt my own tears starting. "That is so sweet."
"It is," Sarah said. "You two are going to be so happy together. I can just tell."
We talked for a little while longer. About the wedding. About the baby. About the future. Then Sarah fell back asleep and I was alone with my thoughts again.
I thought about everything that had led to this moment. All the pain. All the fear. All the trauma. But also all the love. All the healing. All the hope. Everything had brought me here. To this night. To this moment. To tomorrow.
Tomorrow I am getting married. To Jason. The love of my life. My best friend. My protector. My everything.
And unlike my first wedding, I was not scared. I was not nervous. I was not having second thoughts.
I was just ready. Ready to be his wife. Ready to build our life together. Ready for forever.
I closed my eyes and finally felt myself starting to drift off. Tomorrow was going to be perfect. I knew it. Could feel it.
Because tomorrow was not about a big production or impressing people or following tradition. Tomorrow was about love. About commitment. About two people choosing each other.
And that was all that mattered.
I fell asleep with a smile on my face. Dreaming about walking down the aisle. About seeing Jason waiting for me. About saying I do. About becoming Mrs. Cross.
Tomorrow could not come fast enough.