Chapter 110 Moving Forward
CAITLYN'S POV
I was looking at apartment listings on my laptop when Jason came into the living room. He had been at the police station all morning signing paperwork for his immunity deal. He looked tired but also relieved. Like a weight had been lifted off his shoulders.
"How did it go?" I asked.
"Good," Jason said. He sat next to me on the couch. "It is done. I signed everything. I am officially going to testify."
"How do you feel about it?" I asked.
"Honestly?" Jason said. "I feel good. Like I am finally doing something right. Something that will give us a real future."
"I am proud of you," I said. "I know that was not an easy decision."
"It was not," Jason said. "But it was the right one. For us. For the baby."
I smiled and kissed him. Then I turned the laptop so he could see the screen.
"What is this?" he asked.
"Apartment listings," I said. "I have been looking at places. Places we could move to. Start fresh."
"You want to move?" Jason asked. "I thought you liked it here."
"I do like it here," I said. "But this is your place. Your bachelor pad. I want us to have a place that is ours. Not yours. Not mine. Ours."
Jason looked at the screen. At the different apartments I had bookmarked. Some were one-bedroom. Some were two-bedroom. All of them were in decent neighborhoods.
"You really want to do this?" he asked. "Find a new place? Start over?"
"I do," I said. "I want a real home. A place where we can raise our baby. A place that is safe and clean and feels like family."
"Okay," Jason said. "Then let us do it. Let us find our home."
"Really?" I asked. "You are not upset that I want to leave your place?"
"This is just a house," Jason said. "Home is wherever you and the baby are. If you want to move then we move."
I felt tears forming in my eyes. Happy tears. Jason always knew exactly what to say. Always knew how to make me feel loved and supported.
"Thank you," I said. "For being so understanding. For being willing to start fresh with me."
"Of course," Jason said. "This is what I want too. A real home. A real family. A real life."
We spent the next hour looking at listings together. Jason would point at one and ask what I thought. I would show him one and ask his opinion. Some were too small. Some were too expensive. Some were in bad neighborhoods.
"What about this one?" Jason asked. He pointed at a two-bedroom apartment in a nice area. "It has a good school district. A park nearby. Looks safe."
"It is nice," I said. "But it is kind of far from your work. You would have to drive like forty minutes each way."
"I do not care," Jason said. "If it is a good place for the baby then I will drive an hour each way. Distance does not matter."
"You sure?" I asked.
"I am sure," Jason said. "Let me call and set up a viewing. We can go look at it this week."
"Okay," I said. "That sounds good."
Jason called the landlord and scheduled a viewing for Thursday afternoon. Then we kept looking. Found a few more places that seemed promising. Made a list of apartments to visit.
"This is exciting," I said. "Looking for our first real home together."
"It is," Jason said. "I never thought I would be doing this. Apartment hunting with the woman I love. Planning for a baby. Building a family."
"Did you ever want kids?" I asked. "Before me I mean. Did you ever think about being a father?"
"Sometimes," Jason said. "But I never thought it would happen. Never thought I would find someone I wanted to have kids with. Never thought I would be in a position to be a good father."
"And now?" I asked.
"Now I cannot wait," Jason said. "I cannot wait to meet our baby. To hold them. To watch them grow up. To be their dad."
The baby kicked and I put Jason's hand on my stomach. He felt the kick and smiled.
"Hey little one," Jason said. "We are looking for a home for you. Somewhere safe and warm where you can grow up happy."
"Do you think the baby can hear you?" I asked.
"I do not know," Jason said. "But I like to think so. I like to think the baby knows my voice. Knows I am here."
"The baby knows," I said. "I can tell. Whenever you talk the baby gets more active. Starts kicking more."
"Yeah?" Jason said. He looked happy. Really happy.
"Yeah," I said. "I think the baby already loves you."
"I already love the baby too," Jason said. "So much. Even though I have not met them yet."
We sat there for a while with his hand on my stomach. Feeling the baby move. Thinking about our future. About the home we were going to build. About the family we were going to be.
"Can I ask you something?" I said.
"Anything," Jason said.
"Do you ever regret it?" I asked. "Regret getting involved with me? Everything that has happened because of it?"
"No," Jason said immediately. "Not even for a second. You are the best thing that ever happened to me. Everything I went through was worth it to be here with you right now."
"Even getting shot?" I asked. "Even the raid? Even having to testify?"
"Even all of that," Jason said. "I would do it again. A hundred times over. As long as it meant being with you."
"I love you," I said. "So much Jason. I do not know what I would do without you."
"You are never going to have to find out," Jason said. "Because I am not going anywhere. I am staying right here with you and the baby. Forever."
"Forever," I repeated. "I like the sound of that."
My phone rang. It was Linda, my therapist. I had a session scheduled for this afternoon.
"I have to go," I said. "Therapy in an hour."
"Okay," Jason said. "You want me to drive you?"
"No," I said. "I think I am going to try driving myself today. Linda said I should start doing things that scare me. And driving alone scares me."
"You sure you are ready for that?" Jason asked. He looked worried.
"I am not sure," I said. "But I have to try. I cannot have you drive me everywhere forever. I need to be able to do things on my own."
"Okay," Jason said. "But call me when you get there and call me when you leave. I want to know you are safe."
"I will," I said. "I promise."
I got ready and grabbed my keys. Stood at the door for a minute trying to work up the courage
to leave. Jason came over and kissed me.
"You got this," he said. "You are stronger than you think."
"I hope so," I said.