Chapter 108 Staying Together
CAITLYN'S POV
Three days had passed since Detective Rourke offered us witness protection. Three days of thinking and talking and weighing our options. Three days of fear and doubt and worry. But my decision had not changed. I was staying.
Rourke was coming over today to get my final answer. Jason was in the kitchen making coffee. I was sitting on the couch trying to calm my nerves. Trying to convince myself I was making the right choice.
"You okay?" Jason called from the kitchen.
"Yeah," I said. "Just nervous."
"You do not have to do this," Jason said. He came into the living room with two mugs. Handed me one. "We can still take the witness protection. It is not too late."
"I know," I said. "But I do not want to. I want to stay here. With you. With our life."
"Even if it is dangerous?" Jason asked.
"Even if it is dangerous," I said. "I am tired of being afraid. Tired of letting fear control me."
Jason sat next to me and took my hand. "I am going to do everything I can to keep you safe," he said. "You know that right?"
"I know," I said. "And I trust you. I trust us."
There was a knock on the door. Jason got up to answer it. Detective Rourke walked in looking tired. Like he had not been sleeping well. He probably had not. The case was huge. Overwhelming.
"Caitlyn. Jason," Rourke said. "Thank you for seeing me."
"Of course," I said. "Sit down."
Rourke sat in the chair across from us. He looked at me then at Jason then back at me.
"So," he said. "Have you made a decision about witness protection?"
"Yes," I said. "I am staying. I am not going into witness protection."
Rourke nodded slowly. Like he had expected this answer but was disappointed anyway.
"Are you sure?" he asked. "Have you really thought this through?"
"I have," I said. "I have thought about nothing else for three days. And I am sure. I want to stay here. I want to build my life with Jason. I want our baby to grow up in a real home with a real family. Not hiding somewhere under a fake name."
"I understand that," Rourke said. "But Caitlyn you have to understand the risks. There are people out there who want to stop you from testifying. People who might hurt you. Kill you even."
"I know," I said. "But I am still going to testify. I am still going to do my part to put these people away. I am just not going to run and hide while I do it."
"That is very brave," Rourke said. "But bravery can get you killed."
"So can fear," I said. "If I spend my whole life afraid I am not really living. I am just existing. And I do not want that for my baby."
Rourke looked at Jason. "What about you?" he asked. "Are you on board with this decision?"
"I support whatever Caitlyn wants," Jason said. "If she wants to stay then we stay. If she wants to go into witness protection then we go. It is her choice."
"But what do you think is the right choice?" Rourke asked.
"I think there is no right choice," Jason said. "Both options have risks. Both options have downsides. We just have to pick the risk we can live with."
"And you can live with the risk of staying?" Rourke asked.
"I can live with any risk as long as I am with Caitlyn," Jason said. "That is all that matters to me."
Rourke sighed. He looked defeated. Like he had tried his best and failed.
"Okay," he said. "If you are sure then I will respect your decision. But I want you to take some precautions. Security measures. Things that will make you safer."
"Like what?" I asked.
"Better locks on your doors and windows," Rourke said. "Security cameras. An alarm system. Maybe even a panic room if you can afford it."
"We can do that," Jason said. "I will get it set up this week."
"Good," Rourke said. "Also I want you to vary your routine. Do not go to the same places at the same times. Do not be predictable. That makes you an easy target."
"Okay," I said. "I can do that."
"And if you see anything suspicious," Rourke said. "Anything at all. Call me immediately. Do not wait. Do not second-guess yourself. Just call."
"We will," Jason said.
Rourke pulled out a card and handed it to me. "This is my personal cell number," he said. "You can call me anytime. Day or night. I mean it. Anytime."
"Thank you," I said. I took the card and put it in my pocket.
"Now let me ask you something else," Rourke said. "Are you still willing to testify? Even without witness protection? Even knowing the risks?"
"Yes," I said. "I am still willing to testify. Those people need to go to prison. They need to pay for what they did. And if my testimony helps make that happen then I am going to do it."
"Even if it puts you in danger?" Rourke asked.
"Even if it puts me in danger," I said. "Collin almost killed me. Almost killed my baby. And he was not the only one. His whole organization was built on hurting people. On destroying lives. Someone has to stand up to them. Someone has to say enough. And if that someone is me then so be it."
Rourke looked at me for a long moment. Then he smiled. A real smile. Not the tired professional smile he usually wore but a genuine smile.
"You are a remarkable woman Caitlyn," he said. "What you are doing takes real courage. Real strength. I hope you know that."
"I do not feel strong," I said. "I feel scared."
"Courage is not the absence of fear," Rourke said. "It is doing what needs to be done despite the fear. And that is exactly what you are doing."
"Thank you," I said. "That means a lot."
"When will the trials start?" Jason asked.
"First one is in about three months," Rourke said. "We are going after Hayes's lieutenants first. If we can get convictions on them it will be easier to get convictions on everyone else."
"And I will have to testify at all of them?" I asked.
"Not all of them," Rourke said. "Just the major ones. The ones where your testimony is critical. Probably four or five trials total."
"Four or five," I repeated. "That is a lot."
"It is," Rourke said. "But the DA will prepare you. Will go over your testimony. Will make sure you are ready. You will not be going in blind."
"Okay," I said. "I can do that."
"I know you can," Rourke said.
He stood up and we stood up with him. He shook Jason's hand then turned to me.
"Thank you Caitlyn," he said. "For being willing to do this. For being brave enough to stand up. A lot of people would have run. Would have taken the witness protection and disappeared. But you did not. You chose to fight. And that is going to make all the difference."
"I just want justice," I said. "For me. For all of Collin's victims. For everyone he hurt."
"And you are going to get it," Rourke said. "I promise you are going to get it."