Chapter 23 -Avianna-
\-Avianna-
TW Violence & Death
It has been three days since the distance between us began. Three days since Caylix stopped standing at my shoulder, since every hallway, every meal, every court session began feeling subtly wrong, like the world itself has shifted half an inch out of place. Nothing catastrophic has happened. The kingdom has not fallen apart without him beside me. The castle still wakes each morning in polished perfection. The court still gathers, meetings still happen, plans still move forward as though nothing inside me is unraveling at all.
I spend my mornings beside Rhydon reviewing alliance details and wedding preparations, fabrics, guest lists, seating arrangements, political discussions disguised as celebrations. He speaks smoothly through all of it, charming when he chooses to be, attentive when others are watching. Sometimes I catch him studying me with that same careful calculation he always carries beneath the surface, like he is trying to determine why I seem quieter lately.
I tell him I am tired. That answer satisfies everyone. Afternoons are filled with strategy meetings. Reports from the outer territories. Discussions of trade routes and border movement and the strange rise in unrest that King Alexander has begun quietly tracking. I attend every meeting, exactly as I was trained to. I speak when spoken to. I offer insight. I maintain composure.
No one notices the growing emptiness inside me, or maybe they do and it’s mistaken for bridal nerves. But every day without him feels… wrong in a way I cannot explain. Like something essential is being quietly hollowed out of me piece by piece. I never understood how much space Caylix occupied in my life until the space became empty.
And the nights are worse.
The first night, I dreamt I was alone somewhere deep beneath the castle. I wandered endless corridors calling for him while something unseen followed behind me. Every door I opened led nowhere. Every hallway twisted back into itself. I spent the entire dream searching for him with a growing panic until I awoke gasping in the dark, the sheets tangled around my legs and the tether humming faintly with his concern.
The second night was crueler. I found him that time, but he looked at me like he didn’t know me. I remember every detail of it with horrible clarity, the coldness in his eyes and the distance in his voice.
“Avianna,” he said carefully, formally.
No, that’s wrong, all wrong. Caylix only ever calls me Avi. With him, I’m not Princess Avianna. I’m just Avi.
“Being your guard was a mistake,” he adds coldly.
I tried to reach for him but he stepped back. The rejection pierces my heart. Even asleep, it tore through me so violently I woke with tears already sliding down my face and his name on my lips. The tether steadies almost immediately afterward. He felt it, I know he did.
By the third night, exhaustion has settled into my bones so deeply it no longer feels physical, it feels like an erosion of my soul.
I lie back against the pillows staring into the darkness of my chambers, listening to the quiet in a way I never used to notice before. For a moment, I simply breathe. Then, I let the thought slip through the tether.
Are you still there?
The response comes instantly. Yes. The tether hums softly against my consciousness, familiar and warm, and I hold onto it the way a drowning person clings to the surface of the water. Just enough that when sleep finally drags me under, I do not fight it.
I don’t realize I’m dreaming at first, there’s nothing strange enough to warn me. I’m standing outside my chambers barefoot, the cold stone pressing against my skin, the corridor washed in pale moonlight. Everything looks normal, but the castle feels… empty. Then I see him. Relief crashes through me.
“Caylix.”
I’m already moving before I finish saying his name. He turns toward me, tall and familiar and real, and for one perfect second the world settles back into place. My chest loosens. My lungs finally work again.
Then something punches through his chest. The sound leaves him before the blood does. A wet, broken inhale. There is too much blood. It pours down the front of him impossibly fast, black in the dim light, spreading between his ribs and over his hands as he looks down at it like he doesn’t understand what he’s seeing either. He sways and then he collapses.
I catch him before he hits the ground, or maybe he drags me down with him, I can’t tell. Suddenly I’m on my knees and blood is everywhere. It’s hot on my hands, soaking through my nightclothes, slippery between my fingers as I press against the wound.
“Stay with me,” I choke out. “Caylix, stay with me, please…”
My voice is shaking so badly I barely recognize it. His breathing turns wet. I press harder, desperate, sobbing now. “No, no, no…please…”
His hand lifts slowly, his fingers brush mine, trembling, trying to soothe me while he bleeds out in my arms. That breaks something inside me. His eyes find mine. Then the tether snaps empty.
The absence of him tears through me so deeply I can’t breathe. One second he is there, alive inside my soul the way he has been for years, and the next there is nothing. His hand goes limp in mine. And the world disappears.
Suddenly I’m standing in the courtyard.
I don’t remember getting there. The transition is instant, brutal, like the dream is ripping scenes apart around me. My breathing is still uneven and my hands are still covered in blood. But Caylix is standing across from me alive. Relief hits so hard it steals my breath.
“You’re okay,” I gasp. I run to him. He smiles at me. Then a blade erupts through his chest from behind. I see the tip of it burst from his ribs. Blood sprays across my face. He makes this horrible sound, half breath, half choke, and his eyes widen as his body jerks violently.
“No!”
I catch him as he falls. The sword disappears. His blood floods over my hands again, hot and thick and endless.
“Look at me,” I beg him, grabbing his face now, frantic. “Look at me, Caylix, please, please don’t leave me.” I can see him fighting to stay. His lips part like he wants to say something, but blood spills from his mouth instead. Then the tether goes silent.
Again the emptiness tears through me like someone hollowing out my ribs with a blade. I scream this time. A raw, animal sound that echoes through the courtyard. But the worst part is the silence afterward and the horrifying absence of him where half my soul is supposed to be.