Chapter 23 Heat Moment
Zoe's POV
Ryan stood there for awhile. Staring.
"Tell me." He came closer. Fast. Knelt in front of me. "What's wrong with you?"
I stared at him. My mouth open. Confused.
He didn't hear. He didn't hear anything.
I guess I'd never understand how to read this man's expressions.
I saw Scarlett moved out of the room without a word. Now it's only me and him.
"I..." My voice wouldn't work properly. "It's... nothing serious."
"Nothing serious?" His hands grabbed mine. Tight. "Then why do you look so pale?"
"I'm just... I'm tired. Really tired."
"No." He shook his head. "No, it's more than that. I can see it in your eyes. Something's wrong."
"Ryan, please..."
"Please what?" His voice got louder. "Please stop caring? Please stop worrying about my wife who looks like she's about to collapse?"
"I'm fine. I promise...It's nothing..."
"Stop saying it's nothing!" His voice echoed in the room. "Something is wrong. I can feel it."
Tears filled my eyes. "I've seen the doctor...He just said I need rest. That's all. Just rest and medicine."
"Then why didn't you tell me?"
"I... I just wanted privacy." The word came out wrong.
"Privacy from what?" He stopped pacing. Looked at me. "Privacy from me? From your own husband?"
"No. That's not..."
"Then what is it?" He moved closer again. "What are you hiding from me, Olivia?"
"Nothing. I'm not hiding anything."
"You are." His jaw clenched. "I can see it. Every time I look at you, I see secrets in your eyes."
"Ryan, please. I'm just tired. Can we talk about this tomorrow?"
"No. We talk now." His voice was firm. Final. "I want to know what's wrong. And I want the truth."
I looked down. At my hands. At the floor.
"The doctor said I need rest. And... and special care. That's all."
"Special care? What does that mean?"
"Just... someone to watch over me. To make sure I take my medicine properly."
"I can do that." He touched my face. Gentle. "I'm your husband. Let me take care of you."
"I know, but..."
"But what?"
"But I..." I took a deep breath. "I can't share the bed with you tonight."
His hand dropped. "What?"...Why?" His voice got cold. Hard.
"Because I need rest. Real rest. And I..."
"And you can't rest with me?" The hurt in his voice broke my heart. "Your own husband?"
"It's not like that..."
"Then what is it like?" He stepped back. "Explain it to me. Make me understand why my wife doesn't want to sleep beside me."
"Ryan..."
"Is it because of Sierra? Because of what happened in the garden?"
"No. It's not about that."
"Then what?" His voice rose again. "What is it about? Because I'm running out of patience here, Olivia."
"I just... I need to stay with my Mom tonight."
"With Scarlett?" He laughed. But it wasn't a happy sound. "Why Scarlett?"
"Because she knows how to help me. With the medicine. The drugs the doctor gave me." The lies kept coming. Faster now. "They're complicated. Only her knows how to use them properly. The right doses. The right times."
"Then teach me. Show me how."
"It's not that simple..."
"So you're saying I'm useless? That I can't even take care of my own wife?"
"No. That's not what I'm saying..."
"It is." He let go of me. Turned away. "You're pushing me away again. Just like always."
"I'm not..."
"You are!" He spun back around. His eyes blazing. "Every time I think we're making progress, you put up another wall."
"Ryan, please try to understand..."
"Understand what?" His voice cracked. "Understand that my wife doesn't want me? Doesn't trust me? Doesn't need me?"
"That's not true...I just need one night. One night, Ryan. That's all I'm asking."
"One night." He laughed again. Bitter. Angry. "And then what? Tomorrow you'll need another night? And another? When does it end, Olivia?"
"It's not like that..."
"Then tell me what it's like." He moved closer. His face inches from mine. "Tell me the truth. The real truth. Not these lies about medicine and Scarlett."
I couldn't breathe. Couldn't think.
"I'm your husband." His voice got quiet. Intense. "Your mate. I should be the one taking care of you. Protecting you. Holding you when you're scared."
"I know..."
"Do you?" His eyes searched mine. "Because it doesn't feel like it. It feels like I'm a stranger to you. Like you don't even want me here."
"That's not true, Ryan. I..."
"Then prove it." He waited. "Stay here. With me. Let me take care of you."
"I can't."
"Why not?"
"Because..." My voice broke. "Just trust me."
"Trust you?" He stepped back. "How can I trust you when you won't even tell me what's wrong?"
"Ryan..."
"No." He held up his hand. "I'm done. I'm done begging. I'm done trying to understand." His eyes went cold. "You want to sleep with Scarlett? Fine. Go. Do whatever you want."
"Please don't be like this..."
"Be like what?" His voice was ice. "Hurt? Angry? What do you expect me to be when my wife rejects me?"
"I'm not rejecting you..."
"You are." He pointed to the door. "Now go. Before I say something I'll regret."
Tears poured down my face. "Ryan, I'm sorry. I'm so sorry."
"Sorry doesn't fix this." He turned away from me. "Just go."
I grabbed my things. My hands shaking.
Walked to the door.
Stopped.
Looked back at him.
He stood by the window. His back to me. His shoulders tense.
"I really am sorry." My voice was barely a whisper.
He didn't answer.
I left. Closed the door softly behind me.
...
I spent the night in Scarlett's room.
Crying.
She held me. Rocked me.
"It's going to be okay." She whispered. "We'll figure this out."
"How?" I sobbed. "How can anything be okay?"
"I don't know yet. But we will. I promise."
"He hates me now."
"He doesn't hate you. He's just hurt."
"It's the same thing." I wiped my face. "I keep hurting him. Over and over. And he doesn't even know why."
"You're doing what you have to do."
"Am I?" I looked at her. "Or am I just making everything worse?"
She didn't answer.
Because she didn't know either.
We stayed up all night.
Talking in circles.
Finding no answers.
No solutions.
Just more problems.
More lies.
...
The next morning, I went back to my room.
I had to face Ryan. Had to try to make things right.
Even though I didn't know how.
I walked down the hallway. Slow. My heart pounding.
Reached our door.
Took a deep breath.
Opened it quietly.
The room was dark. The curtains still closed.
I stepped inside.
Let my eyes adjust to the darkness.
Then I looked at the bed.
And my heart stopped.
Ryan was there.
Sleeping.
But he wasn't alone.
Sierra lay beside him.
Her head on his chest.
Her arm wrapped around his body.
Her leg over his.
Both of them.
Together.
I couldn't move.
Couldn't breathe.
Couldn't think.
Just stood there.
Frozen.
Staring.