Chapter 39 Chapter 39
~ Brendan POV cont. ~
A mixture of sounds lingered around me – gasps and exhales of relief of my banishment from some, and cries of despair from my mother.
It felt like I had been ripped from my body, giving me an out-of-body experience. I could feel every element of my being, my heart and soul, being doused with loathing and set ablaze with a thousand flames. There was no use arguing anymore; I could feel the disconnect of my soul from the pack instantly.
Returning to my body, I looked up at my former Alpha and listened as he continued his dramatic speech.
“Do you understand what that means?”
Cold inside, I could feel these dark and twisted emotions bubble inside me. I pushed them aside and nodded. “I understand,” I managed to choke out.
“Stand, Rogue.”
I did.
“For who I once thought you were, I will allow you to say your goodbyes to your family.”
A flicker of a hopeful flame lit within me. I looked to my family, saddened that my little sister wasn’t here for me to say goodbye, but equally thankful that she hadn’t witnessed any of this. She deserves better.
Mother stumbled forward, looking at me with tear-stained eyes. She placed her warm hand on my cheek and looked deep in my eyes as she cried silently. Her thumb wiped away the tears streaming down my face, but realising this was the last time I would ever lay eyes on my mother only made me weep more.
“Mum–”
She shook her head, encouraging silence from me and pulled me closer, resting her forehead on mine. I embraced that silent love she offered me. “Know your truth,” she whispered, “stay true to who you are, my sweet boy.” With her free hand, she placed something heavy in my hand. I looked down to see it was a backpack, my eyes flickered, looking back at her in disbelief. “They told me to prepare something for you, j-just in case…" she sniffled.
Feeling her step back away from me hurt more than the banishment itself. I watched as she fell into my brother’s arms and cried harder, praying to the Moon Goddess to protect me.
Hadeon looked at me and shook his head as he wrapped his arms around Mum. A mix of anger and disappointment lingered in his gaze. I nodded once to him, hoping he could see the plea in my eyes for him to take care of our mother. Then, my gaze shifted to my father. “Dad…?”
My father’s emotions were the opposite of my mother’s. “You betrayed us, your brothers and sisters of the pack, your own blood… You’re a traitor.” He stepped in front of me and pushed me closer to the hole in the border. “TRAITOR!” he boomed. His words echoed in my mind for eternity.
“Please, Father, I’m your son…”
“Not anymore. You’re dead to me.” He turned around and never said another word to me, banishing me as his son forever.
My eyes flickered and stung with the burn of the thousands of tears streaming down my face. How could he not believe his own flesh and blood? But then, how could he when all the evidence pointed my way? I looked completely guilty.
The Alpha stepped forward once more and looked down at me like I was nothing more than an insect. “You may leave through the part of the barrier you damaged. Once sealed, the border of our pack will not recognise you as one of us, and won’t allow your magic to manipulate it ever again. Should you ever step back into this pack again, you will be sentenced to death. Do you–”
“Yes,” I hissed, “I understand.” Those vicious and chaotic emotions lurking in the depths within me were yearning to break free, and now, as a Rogue, I had no choice but to learn how to cope with that darkness within me all by myself.
Unamused by my attitude, the Alpha stared at me with no emotion. He had nothing left he had to say.
My final moments with my pack were here. I looked at my family and the members of Nighttide, who only looked at me with disgust and disgrace.
There was nothing left to do. I knew they wouldn’t let me back into the pack to get any of my personal items; all I had was whatever was in the backpack my mother gave me.
I threw the backpack over my shoulder, looking at my mother, hoping she could read the “thank you” I was saying to her with my eyes. Then, I turned around and walked through the broken barrier.
“May the Moon Goddess guide you to purify your wretched soul,” said the Alpha.
By the time I turned around, I was only able to catch a glimpse of the inside of the pack before the hole had completely sealed. My home was shut away from me forever.
The swirls of shadows that danced around my arms dissipated, and, even though there was no use testing it, I had to anyway. I held my hand against the wall and tried to make it bend to my command, but just as the Alpha said, it did not move.
I was no longer a wolf of the Nighttide pack. I was a Rogue.
I collapsed to my knees and stared into the depths of the forest outside of Nighttide – forests I did not know and were unprotected land. Free rein for any lurkers – other Rogues or whatever other monsters lingered – to do whatever harm they wished to do to survive.
Trying to remain calm, I pulled the backpack in front of me and rummaged inside. Mum had left me with essentials for survival for a few days – food, a bottle with water in it, and other necessities to aid me. I was right, there was nothing of mine in the bag, they would’ve taken too much space and would’ve made me miss my former home too much.
The only personal item she did leave me was my great-grandfather’s compass, one that was technically meant for Hadeon since family heirlooms tend to go to the eldest child, but his son, my grandfather, knew how much I loved it, and so did my mother. She must have snuck it in there without my father or brother knowing.
Opening the compass, there was something new there, in the lid of it. A picture of my family with me, it was one we took when we went on a trip together to the mountains, right after we finished swimming in the most beautiful swimming cove. I don’t think my family had ever been happier.
Even after the hate spat towards me from my loved ones, I would use that photo to bring back peace into my mind. I would cherish it forever.
✧ ✧ ✧
I spent the next few months on my own, trying to find a place to call home, but there was nowhere to truly call home. Being a Rogue meant any pack would instantly see me and shun me without even hearing me out. After all, what Rogue would be innocent? A Rogue is only ever cast out of their pack when there is hard evidence of their betrayal.
No one needed to know what I did; all they had to know was my shameful title, and once my presence was made, they would all go running. Until I met Zale.
I hadn’t realised I had trespassed past the borders of a pack; I was still used to Nighttide, where the pack was confined within the shadowy and impenetrable walls. It was my lucky day, apparently, because Zale caught me before the guards did. He was following the guards for the day to learn their duties to the pack, just as many young Alpha-sons did at that age.
He saw how tired and distressed I was; he was the first person in months to actually seem concerned about me. I told him I was a Rogue, and he said he didn’t care; he just wanted to make sure I was alright.
As he shared with me some water and food he had brought with him for the day, he asked for my story, but I fell silent, too ashamed to tell him. Maybe I thought he wouldn’t believe me either, or I would lose the precious moment of an actual conversation, something I almost forgot I missed.
But that day, I managed to do something I didn’t think was possible for me anymore.
I made a friend.
~ End of Brendan POV ~