Chapter 54 What I Almost Said
POV Scarlett:
I walk into my bedroom with my heart in my throat. What was I about to say? Parents? Why the hell did I almost say they’re all the fathers of my baby? Did any of them realize what I was about to say? That’s what I get for letting jealousy blind me—I nearly ruined everything. They’re not the Hawthornes; they don’t understand what a polyamorous relationship is made of. Ethan wouldn’t understand if I tried to explain it… or would he? I doubt it, and I can’t even blame him. I pace from one end of the room to the other, trying to control my nerves. I know being like this isn’t good for the baby.
The door to my bedroom bursts open, and I’m not surprised to see Ethan walking in. He understood what I was about to say and came here for answers. How foolish of me—only in my head did I think they would understand that, for me, I see them as the fathers of my baby. Their worry, their involvement with me… maybe that’s what made me finally admit to myself what I had been denying all along: I am in love with them.
“Ethan, I—”
“Scarlett, do you see them as the fathers of the baby?” he interrupted, asking the same question I’ve asked myself a thousand times.
How can I explain to him what I can’t even explain to myself? What I’m living with the Blackwells is nothing like what I lived with the Hawthornes. I always knew what the Hawthornes wanted from me. When I finally admitted to myself what I felt for them, I dove headfirst into the polyamorous relationship—they shared me, and I shared my love among them. I believed they did the same, but I was wrong, and I suffered for it. The Blackwells are stepping into a kind of relationship they don’t understand, and I don’t know if I’ll be able to explain it in a way they can.
“Ethan, I don’t know what you want to hear, but I need to say what’s in here.” I pointed to my heart. “I got involved with you. My feelings might be confused right now, but I feel the same confused feelings for each one of you.” I sighed, not wanting to admit that these confused feelings are love. “The step we took is a big one, and if we’re going to continue, we need to decide what each of us expects from this relationship. If… if we’re going to try making this a polyamorous relationship, we’ll have to—”
“I know.” Ethan came closer and held my hands. “If we continue, they’ll be just as much the fathers of the baby as I am.”
I nodded, eyes welling up. Maybe with this understanding, Ethan would see that in a polyamorous relationship everyone has to give one hundred percent—no resentment, no jealousy, no doubt. It’s accepting love in one of its many forms.
“They need to want to be fathers. I can’t decide how we should handle our unconventional relationship, but the only certainty I have is that I won’t make them take on such a responsibility unless they want it. We can try to make this work even if they want to be only uncles.” I lowered my head and let a tear fall. “I just don’t want to lose what I’ve just found with you.” I confessed my greatest fear.
“Scarlett, come here.” Ethan opened his arms, and I rushed into them. “We’ll talk to them.”
“I’m scared.”
“Don’t be. Everything will work out.” Ethan kissed my forehead, and we stayed embraced for long minutes.
...
Days had passed since my conversation with Ethan, and we still haven’t spoken to his brothers. I don’t even know when we will. Our routine is the same—sometimes I manage to steal kisses from them, other times, if I’m lucky, I get a good make-out session. They aren’t trying to take me to bed; they’re behaving like perfect gentlemen. And what I’m about to do may shatter all that gentlemanly restraint.
I hope so.
Two days ago my libido went insane—there are moments I swear my pussy is vibrating from sheer excitement.
I spot my targets through the glass wall of the conference room and adjust my breasts inside my tight top. My nipples are so hard I can’t think rationally. I want these men giving me pleasure, and I don’t care if I have to lie on the conference table and spread my legs to beg for it. I unbutton two buttons of my blouse, catching the attention of four pairs of eyes as I step inside the room. I notice Damian and Liam shifting in their seats, and I smirk.
“Mr. Blackwell, here’s the chart you requested,” I said, almost moaning, placing the papers in Damian’s hand. He cleared his throat, forcing himself to look away from my breasts.
“Thank you, Miss Monroe.” I love when they’re in their badass businessman roles and I’m the naughty secretary. I glanced at the video conference screen and nearly cursed aloud when I saw the woman who had been with Damian at the diner where I used to work. What was her name again? I turned back to Damian, glaring daggers at him. “You may leave now, Miss Monroe. We’ll call you if we need anything.”
Son of a bitch.
“Of course, excuse me,” I said sweetly, then “accidentally” knocked over the glass of water, spilling it on his lap. “Oh, I’m so clumsy.” I dropped to my knees quickly, and knowing the woman wouldn’t be able to see what I was doing, I slid my hand to his zipper and freed his cock from his pants.
Damian grabbed my hand, trying to stop me, making excuses to the woman that I didn’t need to clean anything. I squeezed his cock—already half-hard—and took him into my mouth, nearly moaning at the taste of him.
“Fuck,” he cursed, and I smiled proudly. “Give me four minutes to dry my pants, Madison, and I’ll be right back.” Madison. I rolled my eyes. “Scarlett!” he growled. I squeezed my thighs together, trying to contain my desire.
“What is she—? Holy shit!” Noah shouted. I looked to the side and saw his head under the table. I winked at him and returned to sucking his brother.
“What’s going on?” I heard Ethan ask, but soon he cursed as well—followed by Liam.
“Scarlett, get out from under that table, for fuck’s sake.” Damian said it so seriously that I let go of his cock, startled.
I stood slowly, feeling a bit embarrassed by what I’d just done—and Damian’s scolding didn’t help. I adjusted my blouse, buttoning it up again, then turned to the video screen expecting Madison to still be there.
But no—the screen was completely black.
I looked back at Damian, waiting for whatever he had to say. Whatever it was, I wasn’t going to let it stress me.
“What the hell were you thinking?” he asked furiously. “We’re in the middle of an important videoconference; we don’t have time to play at being filthy. And on top of that, you spilled water all over my pants.”
Don’t cry, don’t cry. Damn hormones.
“Calm down, Damian,” Liam said.