Chapter 125 What He Couldn’t Read
POV Adrian:
Something is wrong, I think the moment I step into the house. The smell of food isn’t filling the air the way it usually does when Mikhail is making his pasta—or even the smell of something burned when Maya tries to cook, swearing that this time she’ll get it right. I saw Mikhail heading home; he said he was going to make his pasta and see if Maya would help him. But judging by the absence of smells, it’s obvious that neither of them cooked. If they didn’t cook, where are they?
I head upstairs looking for the two of them, and it doesn’t take long before I find my brother sitting on his bed, holding… Fuck, is he holding a tube of lubricant? I’m about to joke about it, but I stop short when I notice the look on his face—something bad happened. Mikhail is so focused on staring at the tube of lubricant that even without him telling me what he’s doing, I know.
My brother is trying to read.
That kills me, because I know how much that hurts him.
“Mikhail?” I call out, and he quickly lifts his head. His face looks so sad that I get worried—he hasn’t been like this in a long time.
Shit. Something really bad happened.
“It’s for women,” he says, and at first I don’t understand. Seeing my confusion, he explains. “The fucking lubricant is for women, and I didn’t know. When I went into the pharmacy to buy it, I asked where the lubricants were, and the clerk pointed it out to me. She was busy with other customers, so she didn’t come with me.” He takes a deep breath.
I take a few steps forward and sit beside him on the bed. Gently, I take the tube from his hand and skim it quickly, confirming that it really is for women. I close my eyes for a few seconds. Mikhail wouldn’t have known it was for women unless he read it—and I know my brother, unfortunately, isn’t capable of doing that.
“Who told you it was for women?” I ask, hoping it was the cashier when he paid.
“Maya. She told me it was for women and asked why I bought it.” Shit.
“What did you say? I hope you laughed in her face and told her it’s for when we fuck her together,” I joke, but I know it won’t work. This kind of thing crushes the best parts of my brother.
“I froze… I got embarrassed.” I squeeze his hand. “I was so embarrassed that I treated her badly. I kicked her out of my room, and I didn’t have the courage to go after her and apologize.”
I nod, unable to say anything. I know how much this disorder messes with him, how these situations bring the past back to the surface—all the trauma he went through at school. I wrap an arm around his shoulders, pressing our heads together the way I always have and always will in moments like this. I would give anything to have been the one born with dyslexia instead of him.
“It’s going to be okay. I’m here,” I say, kissing the side of his head. “We’re going to need to change clothes.”
I don’t need to say anything else. Mikhail nods, understanding exactly what I’m about to do.
...
Maya isn’t anywhere in the house. After spending some time with my brother to calm him down, I went out looking for her, determined to pass myself off as Mikhail and apologize to her. I don’t care if what I’m about to do is wrong—I just want to protect my brother from something I know would hurt him deeply. I’ll do anything I can to protect him, even if it means deceiving someone I have no intention of hurting.
I’ve been looking for her for a while and can’t find her anywhere. I thought Maya might have changed her mind and gone to the flower shop, but then I remembered her saying she wouldn’t take her car after it left her stranded the other day. I pick up my pace, going a little farther this time, running through the trees, and I remember a place she might have gone.
I haven’t been there since we had that conversation with the woman who almost destroyed everything I care about.
That waterfall is no longer dear to my brothers—nor to me—because we know how many bad memories it brings back for Sebastian. I cut through the trees, and soon I’m standing in that beautiful place. I take a quick look around and soon spot Maya sitting there, throwing stones into the water. I take a deep breath, preparing to pretend to be Mikhail. I don’t want to deceive her, but if I want to protect him, I have to do this. There’s no other way.
Some time ago, I realized that I like Maya. She’s fun, crazy, and she loves irritating Dominic and Luca—which, honestly, is way too entertaining. And on top of that, she makes Sebastian laugh. She makes my brother, who only ever knew how to be sad, smile. Seeing how good she is not just for him, but for all of us, leaves a bitter taste in my mouth for what I’m about to do.
I can’t deny that she affects me. I’m constantly turned on, fantasizing about fucking her with Mikhail, but living with her made me see that Maya is so much more than erotic fantasies. I’m not going to take her to bed and ruin what her friendship has come to mean to me. I see how much my brothers appreciate her company, how much we like having her by our side watching horror movies and the series she convinced us to watch. Even with Dominic cursing every new episode, we’re enjoying watching Sex and the City.
Maya is good for us. Even Louis, with his questionable outfits, is—he’s becoming more ours than hers. Every day I notice how happy she is living with us. I’ve caught her several times looking from us to her dog. Maya sees something in this situation; I just haven’t figured out what it is yet.
“Maya,” I call, using Mikhail’s tone.
She turns her face toward me, and her red eyes immediately catch my attention. She’s been crying. Realizing that shakes me, because it means Mikhail yelling at her hurt her more than I thought. A weight settles in the pit of my stomach, and I realize I don’t like this at all.
“Oh, hi. I didn’t see you there,” she says, picking up another handful of stones and throwing them into the water.
This is going to be harder than I thought.
I walk over and sit beside her, staying quiet while I think about the words I’ll use. I’ve never had a problem pretending to be Mikhail. In fact, I’ve always liked it—it’s fun to fool people and have them not even notice. The only one who can tell us apart with her eyes closed is our mother, and believe me, Mikhail and I tried many times over the years to fool her. Still, Norah Moretti always knew who was who.
But this is the first time I don’t find it fun. I don’t like deceiving Maya—especially not seeing her so small sitting next to me, her eyes red from crying.
“I’m sorry,” I say, and instantly she stops throwing stones and turns her sad face toward me.
“Why are you saying that?” she asks, and that’s my cue.
“I shouldn’t have yelled at you, much less kicked you out of my room. I’m sorry. I was just embarrassed that you found out I like using that lubricant.” I force a smile, and she widens her eyes for a few seconds. To my complete shock, her expression grows even sadder right after.
“You don’t need to do this,” she says, standing up and wiping her hands on the side of her shorts.
“I do. I shouldn’t have yelled—”
“Please, stop.” She raises her hand, and I swallow hard. She’s not going to forgive Mikhail. “You don’t need to apologize for your brother, Adrian,” she says, walking away before I can understand what just happened.
She called me Adrian.
She already knew it was me?