Chapter 65: heartbeat

Logan’s pov

“We will leave you alone for some time” Amy said getting up and leaving the room with Sean.

I looked at the letter, a part of me knows that my heart will break even more after reading this.

I know seeing what she had to say will hurt me more than anything.

But I also know that it now or never, I don’t think I will ever master the courage to read this if not today.

I wiped away my tears and opened the letter that will forever be a bittersweet memory for me.

Ellen Everett wrote

*“If you are looking for forever

I’ll take the batteries out of my clocks

So that we’ll be stuck in this moment

As if time had completely stopped

I would tell you I love you every second

Except here seconds don’t exist

So, I will say I love you with each breath

With each smile, with each kiss

And when I die you can crank your watch

Restart your clocks, begin the time

And know that we were infinite in the moment that you were mine”

*

When I saw those words it was as if she knew we would go through this.

I love you with each breath, and now I want you to crank up your watch.

I want you to restart the clock, I want you to live no matter what.

I wish we had more time, but we were infinite in the moment that you were mine.

Love Little Frog

Fuck her, she had to leave a beautiful letter behind as if it would make everything okay.

I don’t want to crank up my clocks.

I want to be with her now, I want to be with her forever and not just for a moment.

I looked at the watch, now whatever years I have left in this world feel like forever.

Why did she sacrifice herself like that?

Why did she die?

To me Reene is someone who isn’t meant to die. I promised her that I would keep the darkness away.

But instead, I couldn’t do anything but watch as the darkness consumed her.

Victoria must be dancing with joy; her words came through and now all I wish for is death.

I called her words the rumblings of a dying woman.

I laughed at her as she took her last breathe and now I watched as the love of my love did the same.

I held her in my arms until her warm body turned completely cold in my arms.

I held her until the body that was always so full of life turned lifeless.

Those words, she cursed me and now I wish I could travel back in time.

I wish I could undo all the terrible things I have ever done.

Maybe she would be alive now, I failed her big time.

I put her notes and gift in a drawer and went where she was being held at the clinic morgue.

She was just laying there completely lifeless and unmoving.

My little Froggie who couldn’t even sleep on her side of the bed.

She couldn’t sleep with someone at all, you would find her legs on your face at times.

The only thing that helped at times was if I slept holding her in my arms.

If not then you would find her on the floor just laying there.

She didn’t even feel any pain even when she falls.

I sat down and held her hand, “There is so much I didn’t tell you before. Like when growing up I was always a good singer, I always thought I would master up some courage and sing for you” I said.

I couldn’t help but smile imagining her reaction to me singing for her.

“Ohhh yes, I also am a little scared of rats.

I don’t know why but they just scare me, and I can’t stand them. I also can’t swim; I have always been too scared of drowning, so I never tried” I said and looked at her.

No response, she just laid there and in this moment I would even sell my soul just to hear one heartbeat from her.

Just a single heartbeat, to see her smile one last time.

“I am lactose intolerant; I know it’s weird for a grown man like me to be that. But when I eat dairy things can get a little out of control” I said and for a second I could have sworn I heard her laugh.

But when I looked at her she was just as lifeless as she was a few seconds ago.

“I will tell them to bury you with you favourite blankie, the one your grandmother left for you” I said and wiped away my tears.

I don’t want her to see me crying and feel guilty for the decision she made.

I am angry that she had to do that, but I also understand because I would done the same in a heartbeat.

“Brother the funeral preparations are ready, you know that Reene is a witch right? the sooner she joins her ancestors the better” Amy said, and I nodded.

I looked at her and she was dressed in black.

“you can say your goodbyes, I will be back” she said, and I shook my head.

“That’s nice of you, but if I am allowed I would never be able to say goodbye. I want to tell her about my days, so its okay to take her now. Or I will never be able to let her go, please” I said, and she nodded.

Some of the coven members came and they prepared everything and even put her in a coffin.

Is this how Harry felt?

That explains why he has always been so gloomy after she died.

I don’t see myself smiling without her, I don’t see myself being happy or enjoying the days in the sun.

Everything felt like an out of body experience, as if my soul left my body and is just watching it drown.

The time seemed to pass by just as fast, the funeral started, and I didn’t hear a word they were saying.

I just watched as everyone cried for me, I just saw them moving about but nothing.

I wonder where she is now, is she already in heaven?

Is it true that when we die we become stars in the sky?

She taught me the courage of stars before she left, in just a few moments with her she explained the infinite.

You made me realise how rare and beautiful it is to even exist.

I want to know Reene; will I ever be able to feel it again?

The love you have me, that feeling of being truly alive?

the truth is that I would give anything to see her one more time, to feel that again.

I am truly scared; I know what it is like to truly be alive.

Now how will I live?

I cant go back to the way things were.