Chapter 36 Chapter 36
AILSA’S POV
The world returned in segments. The scent of herbs filled my nose. My breath stuttered as I forced my eyes open. The ceiling above looked unfamiliar, draped in shadows. My body felt heavy, each breath scraping through my lungs, my mouth dry. When I turned my head, I saw him.
Lucian sat at my bedside, his elbows on his knees and his head bowed. His broad shoulders were tense as if carrying a heavy weight on them. For a moment, I watched him, the Alpha who always distant and composed now looking undone.
“Lucian” I whispered, his head snapped up.
The relief that flashed across his face was raw, unguarded. A small smile spread across his face as he rushed to my side.
“You’re awake” his voice was low, hoarse threaded with relied. My chest tightened.
“What happened?” He exhaled, a slow controlled sound.
“You were poisoned” I blinked, my mind trying to catch up. Poisoned?
“I found you unconscious” he went on, his voice quiet now, “The healer said you were lucky I arrived on time. The poison had traveled very far, it was enough to….” He stopped, his jaw clenching words cutting off like they pained him.
“Someone tried to kill me?” My voice was low that my words came out as a whisper. His eyes dark lifted to mine.
“It seems so”
Silence stretched between us. Then his tone shifted, as he spoke up.
“What’s the last thing you remember before you lost consciousness?” I tried to think, tried to push the fog clouding my memory. Then it hit me. My lips parted. I slowly started to recall how I called for help when it felt like my insides were twisting and I also remembered the reason I came to my room in the first place. I was right after all, they were talking about me and I fell into their trap.
“The voices” I breathed. “I heard two….people talking about killing someone. I thought…”
“You thought they meant you?” I nodded slowly, my pulse quickening.
A muscle ticked in Lucian’s jaw. He was trying to control his anger but I expression said otherwise.
“Why didn’t you tell anyone?” His question was laced with reprimand but beneath it I could hear the concern in his voice.
“I didn’t think they would attack immediately. I was trying to process the information to be sure that what I heard was true before I told anyone” I said softly. “I also didn’t want to cause panic”
He stared at me for a long time, something unreadable flickering in his gaze. Then to my surprise, he leaned forward, his hands reaching out, hesitating only briefly before wrapping around mine.
The warmth from his touch shocked me. His thumb brushed my knuckles, gentle and grounding. I was enjoying it.
“I’m sorry” he said softly, his voice breaking slightly on the word. I stared at him, confusion swirling through me. This was not the Lucian, I knew. It was like the old Lucian was gone and someone else had taken his place.
“You’re sorry?” He gave a faint laugh.
“You shouldn’t have to live in fear here” he murmured. The words were low. “I’m sorry for not protecting you” his gaze met mine, sharp and piercing.
“You were under my roof and in my wing. You should have been safe” my heart thudded painfully in my chest. I wanted to say something but words failed me. A lone tear slipped from my cheek and he wiped it off.
He stood abruptly, pulling his hand back pacing around like a beast before forcing himself to be still. I watched him in silence, something inside me ached at the sight. He looked…lost and I hated that I cared.
“Lucian” I said softly, my voice steadying. “I don’t blame you” he didn’t answer right away.
“You should” he quietly said.
He turned towards the door as if to leave but hesitated. His voice dropped to a whisper.
“Get some rest, you are safe now” his tone was sharp again, distant.
“Wait” I said sitting up, despite the ache in my limbs. “Who would poison me? Why?” His jaw ticked, his voice even. “We’ll find out”
“I’m sorry” he apologized again softer this time before turned to leave.
I lay back against the pillows, staring at the ceiling and my thoughts began to spiral. Poisoned. Voices in the hall. Someone wanted me gone. I tried to recall if I had seen their faces but that part of my memory was blank. My wolf stirred.
I gaze at my arm to check if the mark had magically disappeared just like it came but it was still there as faint as ever. I swallowed hard. I didn’t understand it. Since it had appeared, I had faced one thing or another.
‘That mark is connected to everything that is happening to you’ my wolf murmured. She was weak too. ‘Everything is connected including him’
“Stop” I muttered but she didn’t stop. ‘He knows it too that’s why he can’t stay away. That’s why he is scared”
I turned my head towards the door that Lucian had left. Her words hit deeper than it should. Alpha Lucian, my second chance mate. A bond neither of us wanted but couldn’t escape.
The memory of his touch on mine replayed in my mind, the warmth still lingering on my skin. I had seen something in his eyes which I’d never seen before, it was possessiveness. His soft look as he told me to get some rest and as he apologized. I knew he blamed himself for what happened but I didn’t think so. I was feeling the bond stir, it was also calling on me to protect him and I was terrified. I closed my eyes forcing myself to breathe.
I pushed myself upright ignoring the full pounding in my head. My hands trembled as I gripped the sheets. The faces of everyone I’d met here flashed through my mind…Lina, Dahlia, Damian and the other warriors. None of them seemed capable of such a thing.
Think! Who would want me dead?
Lina’s name flickered across my thoughts and immediately guilt followed. Lina wouldn’t. Lina was kind, too kind, always making sure I ate and always keeping me company. She couldn’t have known. She was my friend, so she wouldn’t want me dead. The food must have passed through other hands before reaching me. Maybe someone slipped it along the way. But who could it be?
The warriors? Some of them still saw me as an intruder, a rogue but poisoning? I didn’t think any of them would resort to poisoning just to get me out of the way except they saw me as a threat. My mind circled back to the voices.
“We do it tonight”
“The alpha won’t find out…”
The memory made my skin crawl. The voices had been distorted and hurried but something about one of them felt familiar. The female voice came from a servant, it was definitely not a female warrior but which one?
‘Think’ my wolf urged. ‘Who benefits if you are gone?’
That was thing, I wasn’t important enough to threaten anyone. I was just a rogue that the alpha kept in his quarters. Unless…that was the reason. My heartbeat stuttered.
Was it possible that someone saw me as a danger because of Lucian? Because of the way he watched me. No one knew the bond between me and Lucian except…….Dahlia
The name cut through my thoughts. I hadn’t even realized I had said it out aloud.
‘She hates you’ my wolf continued. ‘She thinks you have taken something that belongs to her’
I swallowed hard.
But she wouldn’t want to get her hands dirty, she knows what Lucian would do to her. She had a motive to want me dead. She had threatened me once. The thought made my stomach churn. I wanted to dismiss it and cling to the idea that it wasn’t her but something deep inside me said otherwise.
My head hurt as I tried to think, unease curled in my gut. My wolf growled.
‘We can’t trust anyone until we know’ I rubbed my palms together, trying to steady my breath. “Not even Lina?”
‘Not even her’
I stood up from the bed to walk around the room. I needed to remember. Their backs were not familiar or maybe I had never bothered to check people back as they walked away.
‘We shouldn’t be out of bed, you are still weak” my wolf warned.
“I can’t just lie here” I whispered. “Someone tried to kill me and they might try again”
We’re not alone anymore
“Lucian?” I asked
Yes
“He barely speaks to me unless he’s angry. He’s only speaking to me now because I was poisoned”
‘Yet he found you before something worse happened. He must have felt me calling to his wolf” my wolf said. I couldn’t remember everything but maybe my wolf really called out to his before I slipped into the darkness.
But could he feel it? The pull between us even when he pretended not to? I had never thought about this before until now.
I didn’t want to think about it. I didn’t want to want him but the way he looked at me…with something like fear. Fear of losing me. It unsettled me more than his anger.
Did he feel guilty too? Or it was something else?
‘You already know what it is’ she whispered. ‘You’ve always known’
“No” I said sharply.
‘You can’t ignore it forever. The bond doesn’t fade because you are afraid of it’
Maybe my wolf was right. Maybe he did feel the bond too even if neither of us wanted to admit it since. The thought both comforted and terrified me
Outside, it was getting dark. I watched the sun set. My thoughts circled endlessly, Lucian’s voice, the poison, the mark, the voices in the hall. I didn’t know who to trust anymore.
But one thing was certain…someone inside this pack wanted me dead and whoever they were, they’d made one mistake. I wasn’t the same person that arrived this pack. I had survived rejection and poison. And now…I’d survive this too.
I closed my eyes, feeling my wolf stir her quiet strength flowing through my body.
‘We’ll find them’ she promised. ‘And when we do..’
“They’ll regret ever trying to hurt me” I whispered.
The mark on my arm pulsed as if in agreement with me. Though fear still twisted deep inside me, something else unfolded inside me.
Strength and resolve
It didn’t matter what Lucian said, I wasn’t going to stay hidden under his protection. I would find whoever did this and when I do, they’d learn that they should never mess with Ailsa again.