Chapter 33 Chapter 33
AILSA’S POV
I had been angry at Lucian for trying to use me. He wanted to mark me not because he liked me but because he wanted to save his pack. I said a lot of things I didn’t mean especially when I said that night didn’t mean anything to me. It meant everything to me. I had not that way in a while, I longed to be held and comforted while he whispered sweet things in my ear while he made sweet love to me.
I wasn’t sure I’d be held after I said those things to him. It seemed like we were going in circles, I didn’t know where we are heading to. Some days it felt like he wanted me and other days it felt like he couldn’t stand the sight of me. It was tiring.
‘What about you? Do you want him. I want you to answer that sincerely?’
I exhaled, I didn’t know how to describe what I felt for him. I wanted him with everything in me but I wanted him to want me. There, I finally admitted the truth I had been denying for so long. I wanted him
It scared me because I didn’t want to ever feel like this for any other person after Lorcan.
‘Don’t ever bring up Lorcan. He was a total jerk, choosing your friend as his Luna’ my wolf sounded so disgusted and so was I.
I was over that anyways, my concern right now was I had not seen Lucian for two days, not even a shadow of his presence near my door. I’d gotten used to his unpredictable moods. The way his voice could drop from thunder to ice in the span of a breath, the fleeting softness in his eyes before he shut it away.
This silence and distance? It clawed at something deep inside me. It seemed as though he didn’t come to this wing anymore. Like he didn’t want to be anywhere around me. Could it be that I hurt his pride with my words?
The mark on my hand pulsed faintly, I rubbed it absently wishing it could vanish for good. It was the source of all my troubles, the reason the pack saw me as a curse and something to be rushed. The reason Lucian looked at me like a puzzle to be solved and also the reason why he couldn’t trust me.
I kept asking myself the origin of this mark, what was I? I had come here seeking peace and not trouble. I thought I’d come here and make a life, I didn’t wish to have a second mate and then this mark. Another thing that bothered me were the dreams I had been having.
When I woke up, I could only recall fragments of the dream and never anything. The only thing that was constant and I could remember vividly was myself under a blood moon hearing the cry of wolves. I still didn’t understand the meaning of that dream. A knock startled me from my thoughts.
“Come in” I said, my voice hoarse.
Lina peeked through the door, carrying a tray. Her hair was tied back, her apron smeared with flour.
“You’ve barely touched your breakfast again” she scolded softly. “Are you planning to lose shape before my eyes?” I managed a smile.
“I’m fine, Lina” she frowned, setting the tray down and crossing her arms.
“You say that every morning and every time I throw out untouched food. At least look for a better lie next time” a small laugh escaped me.
I remembered when I was first brought here and had a hard time eating because of worry, Lina helped me during those times and she was still helping me. She even offered to help find out the origin of the mark because how much it affected me. I looked up at her grateful for the company.
“Thank you Lina for gracing me with your company. You’ve been the only that accepted me wholeheartedly even when others treated me like a plague”
“I should be the one thanking you for coming here. I’ve learnt a lot from you. You are brave Ailsa, you saved a child during an attack. That’s the most selfless thing I’ve ever experienced since I came to this pack”
As she straightened the covers, I saw the hesitation in her movement. It looked like she was contemplating and there was a fleeting pause before she spoke again.
“There’s something going on around” she said slowly “Rumors”
“Rumors?” My stomach tightened. She nodded.
“About the silver moon pack” she lowered her voice, “I overheard two guards talking. That they caught someone and he said someone sent them from the silver moon pack” my heart skipped. Silver moon.
It was my old pack, why would the silver moon send someone to this pack. No one knew I was here. My fingers trembled slightly.
“What….what exactly did they say?”
“Not much. Just that the alpha was very angry when he called the name of the pack that sent him, he refused to mention a name and the alpha wants to visit the silver moon pack. I also heard the council members barged into the pack requesting a word with the alpha. I think they came because of your mark” I forced a breath through my lungs.
“Mira, are you sure of everything you’ve said just now” I wanted to make sure she was certain about the name of the pack.
“I wouldn’t lie to you” my mind reeled.
It felt like the wheels in my head were moving, did the unknown man call my name? Did he lie about me? Did Lucian know that was my old pack?
No. He couldn’t. I hadn’t told a soul.
But what if this man knew who I was and have seen me before? I turned away, pretending to adjust the curtain so she wouldn’t see the panic flashing across my face.
All this time, I thought any link I had with the silver moon pack was caught off and now this. Who was this man? I really wanted to know what he said to Lucian.
“Do you have an idea what the elders spoke about with the alpha?” She shook her head.
“I’m sorry, I don’t have that information. The guards stopped talking when they thought I was listening” Lina touched my arm gently.
“Don’t panic, Ailsa. You’ve done nothing wrong”
“I’m scared Lina, what if the council orders for my execution. What then?” My voice cracked. She hesitated.
“Maybe you should speak with Alpha Lucian”
The mention of Lucian sent a rush of conflicting emotions through me. The thought of facing him, those piercing eyes, his unreadable expression made my stomach twist. He hasn’t even come around lately. How am I supposed to approach him?
“I doubt he wants to hear anything from me” I murmured. Lina’s brows furrowed.
“How are you sure he doesn’t want to see you?” She sounded amused.
“I’ve been causing problems for the longest time” I clicked my tongue.
“You care about him right?” I tried to deny it but the words died on my tongue.
“I don’t know” I admitted softly and she smiled faintly.
“You’ll have to find out” before I could answer, she gave me an apologetic look.
“I need to go now. I’ll bring lunch later, all right. I’ll cover it, if you aren’t here”
When she left the room felt colder, I sat by the window staring at the sky. My thoughts drifting back to Lucian…the night of the full moon, the heat in his eyes as he tried to control himself. Every time I thought I’d stop feeling it, the memory returned like a wound that refused to heal. And now, he refused to look at me.
“Maybe it’s better this way” I whispered to the empty room. I didn’t want him so I shouldn’t be concerned if he came around or not.
I got up pacing restlessly, I was confused at what I wanted. I tried to find answers to the questions I kept asking myself. It felt like the room was losing around me with all the thoughts that filled my head so I decided to go out just for air, nothing more. I promised myself to obey Lucian and not train.
The corridors were quiet. Most of the pack were busy, evening was drawing near and the servants must be preparing for dinner while the warriors would prepare for patrol. My footsteps echoed against the marble floor as I made my way down the hall to the courtyard.
I heard two voices, low and urgent coming from a corner. I paused, my heart thudding, the tone of their whispers sharp enough to bring curiosity.
“….can’t wait any longer” a deep voice hissed. It was a man.
“The alpha would notice” a softer voice said and I knew it was a woman’s voice.
“He won’t notice. If we don’t do it tonight she’ll ruin everything” I froze, my palms were sweaty.
She. Who was the she they talked about?
I took a step closer, careful to stay behind the wall.
“Order came from above. We get rid of her before night fall. Make it look like an accident” the man said in a whisper. Blood roared in my ears.
“What if he finds out? We’ll be killed” the woman said anxiously.
“We’ll be dead if we don’t do it either. We just have to be careful”
“What if she doesn’t die?”
“We have to make sure she dies and all this we’ll be over. We would be rich” I covered my mouth, my heart hammering.
The air around me seemed to vanish. They were planning on killing someone. I had this ominous feeling they were talking about me. My pulse pounded so loud I was afraid they’d hear it.
“By dawn she won’t be a problem” the man spoke again, low and cold. Footsteps followed, fading quickly.
They had planned to kill someone and the order came from someone higher up. Who was that? So many thoughts ran through my head as I tried to process everything I had heard. I didn’t bother to see the faces of those that spoke about it.
I didn’t move. I couldn’t. My body felt frozen, I backed away until my back hit the wall. My breath came fast and shallow. My instincts never lied and it was telling me they wanted to eliminate someone and that person was….