Chapter 136 Chapter 136
The moment I saw him, time seemed to stop. It felt like I had been transported back to my past.
Lorcan stood at the edge of the torchlight like a ghost pulled from a life I had buried with trembling hands and broken promises. His presence felt both familiar and foreign, like a scar that had healed badly and now throbbed with sudden pain.
My breath caught. My wolf stirred uneasily. I wanted to cuss out but I was too weak. He stepped forward slowly, his gaze drinking me in with a hunger that made my skin crawl.
“Ailsa” he said softly.
Hearing my name from him felt like an echo from another life.
Damian lowered me to my feet, though his hand lingered on my arm as if reluctant to let go. Dahlia moved past us without a word, already fading into the background like someone who had finished her role in a performance.
Damian moved away too and suddenly, it was just us.
Me and my past. Now my present fear.
Lorcan stopped a few feet away. Silence stretched between us thick with things unsaid.
“You look thinner” he murmured. I scoffed.
“Were you expecting someone who’s been kidnapped to look robust?” A faint smile tugged at his lips.
“I see you didn’t lose your humor. It’s not kidnap but a reunion”
“This is no reunion” I snapped at him.
But Lorcan only tilted his head, studying me like I was a puzzle he intended to solve piece by piece.
“You always did pretend strength when you were hurting”
The words hit too close. My heart stuttered.
“I’m not hurting” I said quietly.
Lorcan’s smile deepened, like he knew more than I did.
“That’s not what your wolf says” my stomach twisted.
I wanted to ask him what my wolf was saying but whatever Dahlia gave me pulsed through my veins again, making my vision blur slightly. Lorcan noticed immediately, his expression darkening.
“They weakened you”
“Why are you pretending like you didn’t ask them to? And I’m not weak”
“You’re trembling”
I forced myself to stand straighter.
“Don’t act like you care. I’m not yours to observe anymore”
His eyes flickered with pain or regret….i didn’t know.
“All this distance and yet you still speak like you don’t know me” he murmured.
“But I don’t know you”
He only smiled. Then Ailsa’s voice softened with something colder than anger.
“Why am I here Lorcan?”
I asked the one question that had been on my mind since I first entered that carriage. Lorcan inhaled sharply. For a moment, the confident Alpha façade cracked, revealing something beneath.
“Why else? You have been brought back to your original home”
“This is not my home. I left here, I caught ties with this pack”
“You didn’t leave. You ran” he whispered.
“What’s the difference? I left and escaped from a life of torment” His jaw clenched.
“You abandoned me”
The accusation ignited anger inside me.
“You betrayed me. You abandoned me first”
Silence exploded between us. The air thickened with anger and the truth. Lorcan stepped closer, his voice lowering.
“You think I don’t remember every moment we had? I can’t seem to forget you even if I tried”
My heart betrayed me with a painful thud because I remembered all the good times. The laughter, the stolen touches, the promises whispered beneath moonlight but that had all been fake and I learnt my lesson the had way.
“I remember everything” Lorcan continued softly. “The night you first shifted. The way you cried because you were scared. The way I held you until morning.”
My wolf stirred painfully.
No, don’t listen, I told myself but the memories flooded and I pushed them away.
“You told me I was home” he whispered. My throat tightened.
“You were, until you weren’t. You became someone I couldn’t recognize” I said quietly. Lorcan flinched.
Then he took another step closer, his voice dropping into something dangerously gentle.
“You were my first love, Ailsa. And my only love”
My heart twisted, not because the words were sweet but because there was a time I would have killed to hear those words but now they were nothing more than an empty shell.
“And you were my greatest mistake” I spat at him, my tone higher than she intended.
Lorcan inhaled slowly, fighting something inside himself.
“I searched for you. I wanted to apologize for hurting you”
“You didn’t look hard enough”
“I did. I searched every forest and territory” he whispered.
I knew he was lying and honestly I didn’t care what he did when I left here. I was over it.
“You didn’t search for me when I needed you most and now it’s too late”
He closed his eyes tightly. The truth was hard to hear.
“I was stupid” his voice was soft.
“That I can agree with you”
“I was blind”
“Yes”
“I was manipulated” my gaze hardened.
“You weren’t manipulated because that’s what you wanted. You chose her”
Then Lorcan reached out, stopping just short of touching my face. I staggered back not wanting him close to me.
“You still feel it”
“No, I don’t feel anything. Stop forcing it”
“The bond. Don’t you feel it. I can still feel it” my wolf whimpered.
“Mate bonds don’t disappear. They never do” he murmured.
“They do, mate bonds can be broken and that’s what happened between us. We are not mates. You don’t get to talk about bonds after what you did.”
“You think I didn’t suffer when you left?” His voice dropped lower.
“You think suffering excuses betrayal?” My voice trembled despite my effort.
Then Lorcan’s expression shifted. His jaw flexed.
“You loved me”
“I thought I did but it turns out that was just infatuation” He stepped closer.
“No, you told me you loved me. You said it without your mouth. You told me you trusted me”
“You destroyed that trust. And I take back what I said about loving you, it’s obvious I didn’t know what love what was then”
Lorcan inhaled deeply, then whispered:
“No, you won’t take back your words. You meant them”
I didn’t know where this was headed. I prayed this was a bad dream I would just wake up from. But the way my wolf stirred, told me this was no bad dream and I was standing with Lorcan.
“You can lie to yourself. You can pretend you hate me. But I know you, Ailsa. I know the way your heart works”
“You don’t know me anymore” His gaze burned.
“I know the girl who stayed awake all night just to watch me sleep because she was afraid I’d disappear” my breath faltered.
“That girl died. She doesn’t exist” my voice broke.
“No. She’s still in there. I just want her back”
“She’s gone Lorcan, can’t you see?”
“And yet she stands here, staring at me” Lorcan’s gaze softened, voice lowering into something dangerously intimate.
“Did Lucian ever love you the way I did?”
The question hit like a strike.
“Yes. Lucian taught me what love is. Lucian healed me” Lorcan’s smile was sad.
“You hesitated before answering” my anger flared.
“I didn’t. Is that why I’m here? For you to question me about Lucian”
“No, you are here because this is where you belong not with Lucian”
“Is that why you had Elara and co, kidnap me? Who even told you I wanted to come back here?” I forced myself to hold his gaze.
“After seeing you at the wolf ball, I couldn’t leave without you. I realized how much I had been missing you”
“I told you then to leave me alone. I meant it” I stressed the last part.
“It’s regret everything that happened. I wanted a chance to apologize properly and I couldn’t do it in Lucian’s pack”
I wanted to run my hand through my hair in frustration.
“You don’t have to apologize Lorcan. You made your choice and I respect it. If it’s my forgiveness you seek, then I’ve forgive you. Let me just leave here”Lorcan inhaled deeply.
Silence stretched. Then he stepped even closer, close enough that I could feel the warmth of his breath.
“I can’t let you leave”
“What use an I to you?”
“I want you back” he whispered. I was stunned at that statement.
“No, you have a mate and I have a mate”
“No, I don’t have a mate. I’ll fight for you”
“You’ve gone mad, Lorcan. I’m not a prize to be won”
“I’ll earn you”
“How can you earn what you’ve already lost?”
This back and forth was slowly driving me crazy and I was mere seconds from crashing out. Then Lorcan’s expression shifted again, it was darker this time.
“You think Lucian is safe for you?”
“Yes. He is my safe place”
“You think he won’t hurt you?”
“He already did and I hurt him also” I whispered. Lorcan’s eyes sharpened.
“And yet you stayed”
“Yes because he loves me and respects me” Lorcan’s smile faded.
“I loved you first. You were mine first. You didn’t give me the same chance you gave him”
“You don’t get to turn this on me. You betrayed me in the first place”
“I accept that’s what I did. Can’t I get a chance to fight for my mate?”
“I’m not your mate anymore. And it’s too late”
Then Lorcan whispered something that froze my blood.
“We’ll see”
My heart pounded because his tone carried certainty, danger and it sounded possessive. Lorcan stepped back slowly.
“You’re exhausted, weak and confused. I had your old room prepared for you. Have a good rest, we’ll talk tomorrow” he murmured.
“I’m not confused” my voice trembled with fury.
“You will be”
Fear curled in my stomach. Lorcan turned slightly toward the guards.
“Take her to rest”
My chest tightened.
“This isn’t over”
Lorcan looked back at me, his eyes dark with possession.
“No. It’s just the beginning” he whispered.
And as they escorted me to the room, I felt something terrifying settle deep inside my chest. Not fear of Lorcan but the realization that he wasn’t trying to hurt me. He was trying to reclaim me.
This is going to turn out badly.