Chapter 101 Chapter 101
AILSA'S POV
DAYS LATER
The bed felt cold. The room was too quiet and I could only hear the sound of my breathing. I laid on my side longer than I wished to, staring at the spot Lucian should have been. The spot that felt so empty now, devoid of his scent.
My fingers curled into the blankets as if I could pull his warmth and scent back. He hadn't come to bed last night nor the previous night. I had waited long for him hoping that he would come to check on me, until I had fallen asleep.
I knew the reason he didn't come to bed. I was the reason. He didn’t want my rejection. I began to regret all I said that night. I should have just let it rest like he had asked. I was angry and hurt seeing Elara at the dining table, my words that night were sharp and it may have hurt him. During the day, I felt his presence around the pack but I never got to see him. He was avoiding me.
I missed him, not just his body but his presence, the way it made me feel safe and the way it comforted me. The way his arms curved around my waist, possessive even in sleep. The low sound he made when I moved away in the morning. I missed everything.
'Go to him. It’s been days. You miss him' my wolf urged. I shook my head.
I was too much of a coward to meet him. I wouldn’t even know what to say when I eventually saw him. Would I apologize or would I fight more? The question circled in my head. Although, I was tired of fighting but my pride wouldn't let me go to him.
I forced myself away from the bed which I had taken comfort in during the night and dressed in a pale gown, the color was dull. Just like my mood.
I found Lina and we shared tea. A hot, steaming cup of tea. I tried to focus on the warmth of the cup in my hand and the familiar presence but my thoughts kept circling back to the same place.
Lucian and Elara.
She was the reason for Lucian's and my fight. Since she came it's been one fight after the other. I couldn't hold back my thoughts again and decided to speak to Lina.
"Elara came to meet me with a smile and soft voice and asked if we could be friends. She was so calm about it, like it was a normal thing" I said quietly. Lina's brows furrowed.
"Friends? How did you feel about that?" I gulped.
"I felt like the unreasonable one for feeling threatened while she was calm. I was so angry and I wanted to bang her head on the ground. She brings out a side of me that I never knew existed"
That was the worst part of everything. She made me feel like someone who was obsessed and possessive.
"If I had given her a chance, I'm sure she would remind of things she knew about Lucian and I didn't. She was at dinner the other night, she was trying to give me tips on her how to be a better Luna. I still have this feeling that she keeps trying to spite me where others are” my grip tightened on the cup. The hurt vapor burning my hands.
"I wouldn't put that past her. You don't owe her peace though. You are the Luna now and you have privileges to take certain actions. You are not using those privileges enough"
Lina was right.
"I can’t send her away. That is the one thing I really want to do. I feel like any action I take would cause more fights between Lucian and I. We are already fighting because of this same issue and we’ve not spoken in days”
"It's normal for couples to fight but Elara shouldn't be the reason for constant fights. She's not worth it. If she notices you and the Alpha are not speaking, she might try to cause more problems. I don’t trust her. It's better you speak about your feelings to him"
"You are right. I should..." my words cut off sharply.
Electricity shot through my arms without warning. It was not painful. It was a deep, pulsing throb that spread through my chest and straight to my centre, making me clench my thighs together. My wolf surged, desperate and needy.
'Mate. Now'
The longing hit me all at once, raw and overwhelming. Lucian's scent, hands and voice in my ear. My body reacted before my mind could catch up, heat pooling low, every nerve in my body screaming for him.
"Ailsa...what's wrong" Lina was on her feet instantly.
"I..." I stood up abruptly almost knocking over the chair. "I have to go"
I need to find Lucian.
I was going into heat.
The corridor outside Lucian's office smelled of steel, sweat and him. My pulse roared in my ears as I approached, barely registering the voices inside. The door was open.
Lucian stood with the head warrior, his posture rigid. He looked tired but focused. Something inside me snapped.
'Jump him' my wolf screamed in my ears.
The warrior noticed me first and stilled. Lucian followed his gaze and his expression darkened immediately.
"Leave us!" He snapped at the warrior.
The door barely closed before I crossed the room. Without any thought, I grabbed him by the front of his shirt and kissed him hard. My lips crashed into his, all frustration, need and longing poured into the kiss.
He froze for a second, then his hands were on me, roughly and pulling me closer even as he tried to regain control. I kissed him like I was starving. He growled low in his chest and broke the kiss, pulling away as we both fought for breath.
"Ailsa" he said hoarsely.
“Are...you alright?"
I looked up at him, his eyes had gone darker than its usual color.
"D-don't you want me?" The question slipped out. His hands tightened at my waist.
"You know I do but..." I cut him off.
"Then don't think. Take me. Please" I whispered.
Something in his expression broke.
“You are in heat” he realized.
He kissed me again, slower and deeper this time, his control shattered as he guided me to the room.