Chapter 61 Shattered Trust
I couldn't breathe. My fingers clawed at James's arm, but his eyes were bloodshot, completely ignoring my pain.
Black spots danced across my vision. My throat was being crushed. I could even hear the cracking sound of bones grinding together.
"Let... go!"
My grip on James's hand weakened, but his fingers only tightened around my neck.
I knew that normal methods wouldn't wake James up.
I forced my head to turn. I was searching for something, anything that could snap James out of this.
I spotted my water glass on the coffee table. I stretched my hand out with all my remaining strength, grabbed it, and smashed it against James's head.
His hand stopped. His eyes slowly cleared.
James released me in a panic and helped me sit up.
"Ashley, I'm sorry! So sorry! It was like a demon possessed me! I didn't mean it! I never wanted to hurt you!" His voice was frantic.
I clutched my throat. The pain brought tears to my eyes. I gasped for air. Even my lungs felt like they were burning.
I waved James's hand away. I didn't believe him. All I could see in my mind was that murderous look in his eyes.
James had wanted to kill me. If I hadn't knocked him out with that glass, I'd probably be dead right now.
"Ashley, I know I was wrong! Please forgive me!"
James lunged forward again, grabbing my hand and kissing it over and over.
"Ashley, punish me. Hit me with the glass again, as many times as it takes until you feel better."
James left my side. He went to the kitchen and brought out all the glasses in the house.
"Ashley, throw them at me! If these aren't enough, I can go out and buy more right now."
I stared at him in disbelief. I hadn't expected him to suggest this.
I'd hit his head hard with that glass. Blood was still trickling down. Couldn't he feel the pain?
"James, stop! This is weird! I think we both need some time and space to cool down."
"No! Ashley, I don't want that!" James threw himself at me.
He held me so tight, as if afraid I would disappear.
"Ashley, I really know I was wrong! Please don't leave me!" His voice broke into sobs.
My heart ached too. James really cared about me. But I still pushed him away firmly.
"James, I believe you know you were wrong. But after everything that's happened, I need my own time. Can we talk in a couple days?" My tone was resolute.
Tears filled James's gray eyes. He called my name, and then the tears spilled over.
Seeing his tears made my heart hurt too. But I didn't change my mind.
James wiped his tears roughly. His eyes were red and swollen.
"Ashley, get a good night's sleep tonight. We'll talk tomorrow."
James went back to his room. I instantly lost all strength and collapsed onto the sofa.
The stinging pain in my throat hadn't completely faded. It reminded me that I'd almost lost my life just moments ago.
James was too strange. The James from earlier was nothing like the James I knew.
But he had done those things. I could feel James's twisted possessiveness toward me. It made me deeply uncomfortable.
I should reconsider my relationship with James. But today I was just too exhausted. All I wanted was to go to my bed and sleep.
I thought I'd sleep well from exhaustion, but the opposite happened.
I had terrible nightmares. This had been happening since Julio killed my parents. The first year, I had nightmares every night. Later, they became less frequent.
This nightmare was different from before. Usually, I'd dream repeatedly about that scene from three years ago. Julio rushing at me, grabbing my throat, and I'd wake up just before I suffocated.
But this time, I dreamed I was bound with ropes on a cold metal table. I was completely naked, my skin exposed to the air. I was shivering from the cold.
"Who's there? Come out!" I shouted desperately.
Then a shadow emerged from the darkness. It came closer and closer. I trembled even harder.
I knew I was afraid. I already had a guess about this figure.
Julio. It was Julio!
"Julio, you freak! If you're going to kill me, just get it over with!" I cursed loudly.
Then the figure walked to my side. I saw his face. James!
How could it be James?
The panic and pain woke me up. I realized that because I was so tired yesterday, I'd forgotten to close the window. It had rained in Los Angeles tonight and the temperature had dropped. The whole room felt like an icebox. No wonder I'd felt cold even in my dream.
Damn weather. Damn window. And damn Julio!
He just had to play those bondage games, and now my dreams had turned into being tied up!
Damn James!
Going crazy like that, causing me to have these kinds of dreams!
I barely slept after that, so when the alarm went off, I still felt exhausted.
When I went downstairs, James had already made breakfast. Matthew was already up too, his little legs swinging by the chair. When he saw me, he immediately smiled.
"Mommy! Kiss! Kiss!" Matthew demanded his morning kiss.
I walked over and kissed Matthew on the cheek. He laughed and threw himself into my arms. I held him close and started feeding him.
"Ashley, have you forgiven me?" James sat across from me, staring intently.
I fed Matthew a spoonful of milk without even glancing at James.
"I don't want to discuss this right now." I refused to continue this conversation with James.
He said nothing more, but I could feel his mood had dropped.
After I finished my own breakfast, I got dressed to take Matthew to preschool. James immediately stood up, as usual, to get the car.
But I stopped him. "James, just go to work. I'll take Matthew to preschool myself today."
James's eyes immediately reddened. He said my name, his voice full of hurt.
I looked away. I was afraid if I kept looking, I'd really soften.
After several days away, Susan was worried about me. She followed me into my office to ask what had happened.
"You never came in on Monday, and I couldn't reach your phone. I could only call James. He said Julio took you away."
I told Susan everything that had happened those days. These were things I didn't want to tell James, but facing Susan, I felt relaxed. I could open up and confide in her.
After hearing everything, Susan was furious. She angrily drank the entire cup of coffee she'd prepared for me in one gulp.
"Next time I see Julio, I'm going to punch his nose crooked!"
I couldn't help but laugh. All those awful feelings just melted away.
Susan wouldn't blame me for leaving with Julio. She felt sorry for me. But James had blamed me! That broke my heart!