Chapter 30 Always my girl

Chapter 30 Always my girl
DERRICK – POV

I walk beside Casey toward the front office, matching my pace to hers without thinking.
Students weave around us in noisy clusters, backpacks slung over one shoulder, laughter echoing through the courtyard. For them, Friday is freedom.
For us, it is another goodbye.
The receptionist looks up as we step inside.
"Morning," I say, offering a polite smile. "I'm here for the transfer documents for Samara Hayden."
"Of course."
She slides the clipboard across the counter, and I fill in the necessary paperwork while Casey waits quietly beside me.
It only takes a minute.
I hand the clipboard back, thank the receptionist, and turn.
Casey is standing with her weight resting on one hip, hands tucked into the pockets of a cream wool coat that falls neatly to her knees. She has traded her usual white sneakers for black heeled ankle boots that make her almost eye level with me.
Her blonde hair has been curled and gathered into a high ponytail, each loose curl perfectly placed as though she'd spent far too long in front of a mirror this morning.
She catches me looking and immediately smooths a strand of hair that doesn't need smoothing.
"What?" she asks self-consciously.
I smile.
"You look lovely today."
Colour creeps into her cheeks.
"Thank you."
She tries to shrug like it isn't a big deal, but the smile tugging at the corners of her mouth gives her away.
"I figured..." She laughs awkwardly. "If I was going to get rejected, I could at least look cute while it happened."
Despite everything, a quiet laugh escapes me.
"I don't imagine many people reject you."
"Oh, they absolutely do."
"I find that difficult to believe."
She looks down at her boots.
"Well..."
Her voice grows smaller.
"...there's at least one."
Something twists painfully inside my chest.
She deserves honesty.
She deserves someone who can look at her the way she deserves to be looked at.
And I have never been that man.
"Would you... walk with me for a minute?" she asks softly.
I nod.
"Of course."
Together we step back outside into the courtyard, the autumn air cool against our faces, neither of us quite ready for the conversation waiting ahead.
For a moment neither of us says anything.

She lets out a small laugh.

"So..."

"So," I echo.

"This is really goodbye, huh?"

"I'm afraid so."

She looks down at her shoes and scuffs the toe of one sneaker against the pavement.

"I know we've only known each other for a few weeks," she says, smiling awkwardly, "but I was really hoping to show up with you at the dance."

I can't help smiling.

"I admire the confidence."

"It took a lot to work up to this."

"I believe you."

She looks up at me then, hope flickering across her face.

"So..."

She takes a breath.

"...would a long distance thing be completely ridiculous?"

The smile fades from my face.

Not because she's done anything wrong.

Because she deserves honesty.

"I think it would."

She nods slowly.

"I kind of figured."

I hesitate before answering.

"It wouldn't be fair to you."

"Why not?"

Because every beat of my heart belongs to someone standing twenty feet away.

Because I crossed Heaven and death itself for her.

Because I have loved the same soul for eight centuries.

Instead, I choose the only truth I can give.

"My heart already belongs to someone else."

Casey studies me for a long moment.

Then, to my surprise, she smiles.

"Oh."

Not hurt.

Just... understanding.

"I was wondering."

"You were?"

She laughs quietly.

"No one looks at their little sister the way you look at Sam."

The words hit like a fist to the ribs.

I don't answer.

I can't.

Because she's right.

Even if she doesn't understand why.

"I hope..." Casey says softly, "...whoever she is... she knows."

My chest tightens unexpectedly.

"I don't think she does."

"Well..."

She shrugs.

"She's an idiot then."

A laugh escapes me before I can stop it.

"I'll let her know."

"Please do."

The smile lingers only a moment before something twists uncomfortably beneath my sternum.

I frown.

An odd pressure spreads through my chest.

Not pain.

Something stranger.

My heartbeat stumbles.

One beat.

Then another.

My vision swims for half a second.

The ground feels strangely unsteady beneath my boots.

"Derrick?"

Casey's smile disappears.

"You okay?"

"I'm..."

I stop.

The word catches.

My pulse pounds once against my ribs so hard it almost steals my breath.

Then another.

Uneven.

Wrong.

A faint weakness spreads down my left arm.

I instinctively rub at it.

"I think..." I murmur.

Casey is beside me before I realize she's moved.

"Come on."

She gently catches my forearm.

"Sit down."

"I'm fine."

"You look like you're about to pass out."

"I don't—"

"You do."

She guides me toward a nearby bench despite my quiet protests.

I lower myself onto it, more because my legs suddenly feel unreliable than because I intend to.

Casey disappears inside for a moment.

She returns carrying a paper cup filled from the water dispenser.

"Here."

I accept it.

The cool water helps.

Somewhat.

She sits beside me, concern written plainly across her face.

"You've had a rough week," she says.

"I've had worse."

"I doubt it."

She folds her arms.

"Your sister nearly died."

My fingers tighten around the paper cup.

"You've probably barely slept."

I remain silent.

"And now you're packing up your whole life again."

She reaches over absentmindedly and rubs my arm in a gentle, comforting gesture.

"You don't have to pretend you're okay all the time."

The kindness catches me off guard.

She has no idea who I am.

No idea what I've seen.

What I've lost.

Or how close I came to losing everything all over again.

"I appreciate that," I say quietly.

She smiles sadly.

"I'll survive."

"I know you will."

She nudges my shoulder lightly.

"Just... if you ever decide your mystery woman is an idiot..."

I laugh softly.

"...I'll keep that in mind."

She grins.

"I figured."

As she walks back toward the school, I watch her go with genuine affection.

She is kind.

Bright.

The sort of person who deserves someone capable of giving her an ordinary future.

I was never that man.

My heart settled long ago.

Long before Casey Wright was ever born.

Long before Mill Hollow.

Long before this lifetime.

It belongs to one stubborn, sarcastic girl who is probably arguing with someone inside the school this very moment.

My girl.

Always my girl.

Even if she never remembers why.