Chapter 19 What Have I Done
Cressida's POV
"We save who we can and prepare for war."
Thaddeus's words echo in my head as we watch the city burn on the news. Buildings on fire. People screaming. Hollow Ones hunting in packs through downtown streets.
My phone won't stop buzzing. Emergency alerts. Missing persons reports. Death toll estimates climbing every minute.
All because of me.
"How do we fight this?" My voice sounds hollow. "There are hundreds of them now. Maybe thousands by morning."
"We don't fight all of them." Thaddeus pulls out a map of Veridale, marking locations with red X's. "We identify the strongest ones—the ones furthest along in transformation. We take them out first. That might slow the spread."
"Might?" Isolde laughs bitterly from the corner where she's huddled. "We're all going to die. This entire city is doomed."
I look at her. Really look at her. Black veins cover her arms completely now. Her eyes flicker black more often than brown. Her fingers have sharpened into points.
She has hours left. Maybe less.
"I'm not giving up on you," I tell her. "On any of this."
"You should." She stares at her corrupted hands. "I can feel it, Cress. The hunger. It's getting stronger. Every second, I want to hurt someone more." She looks up with terrified eyes. "I'm losing myself. And I don't know how much longer I can fight it."
Thaddeus's phone rings. He answers, listens, his face getting paler. "We'll be right there."
"What now?" I ask.
"That was Detective Rodriguez. Multiple Hollow Ones have taken over Mercy General Hospital. They're holding patients and staff hostage." He grabs his blade. "And they're asking for you specifically."
My stomach drops. "They know. They know I'm the source."
"Of course they know. Part of them is still human enough to understand what's happening." He shows me his phone. A text with a photo—the hospital with words written in blood across the windows: "BRING US CRESSIDA OR THEY ALL DIE."
"So what? I just walk in there and let them kill me?"
"No. We walk in there and kill them first." He tosses me a weapon—a knife that glows faintly with celestial energy. "This blade is blessed. It can hurt Hollow Ones. Use it if you have to."
The knife feels wrong in my hand. Heavy. Dangerous.
"I can't kill more people."
"Those aren't people anymore, Cressida. They're monsters wearing human faces." His voice softens. "But if we don't stop them, they'll kill everyone in that hospital. Doctors. Nurses. Sick children."
Sick children. Like Landry used to be.
"Okay. Let's go save them."
"I'm coming too," Isolde stands shakily. "I can still fight. I can still help."
"Absolutely not." I block her path. "You need to stay here where it's safe."
"Safe? Nowhere is safe anymore!" She pushes past me. "I'm transforming anyway. Might as well die doing something good."
Thaddeus studies her carefully. "Can you control yourself? If you lose it in there, if you start attacking innocents, I'll put you down. No hesitation."
"I understand." Isolde's jaw sets. "But I'm not losing myself without a fight."
We drive to the hospital in tense silence. The streets are chaos—overturned cars, broken windows, people running and screaming.
At the hospital, police have set up a perimeter. Detective Rodriguez meets us at the barricade.
"Corwin. Thank god." He looks at me and Isolde suspiciously. "Who are they?"
"Consultants. They know about this situation." Thaddeus shows his credentials. "What's the status?"
"Twelve hostiles inside. They've got about forty hostages. The hostiles keep demanding we bring them someone named Cressida Halloway." He looks at me. "That you?"
"Yes."
"They say if they consume you, they'll complete their transformation and become immortal." Rodriguez shakes his head. "I don't know what that means—"
"It means they're still partly human," Thaddeus interrupts. "Still capable of bargaining. Which gives us an opening."
"What kind of opening?" I ask.
"You walk in. Offer yourself as bait. Draw them away from the hostages." He meets my eyes. "Then we kill them all."
"That's suicide!"
"It's the only way to save those people." He's not arguing. Just stating facts. "And you're strong enough to survive it. The devil's power makes you hard to kill."
I think about the hostages inside. Terrified people who did nothing wrong. People I infected just by existing.
"Okay," I hear myself say. "I'll do it."
Isolde grabs my arm. "Cress, no. There has to be another way."
"There isn't." I hug her quickly. "If I don't come back... I'm sorry. For everything."
"You're coming back. You have to." Her voice is fierce. "Because you're going to cure me. You promised."
I walk toward the hospital entrance. Every step feels like walking to my execution.
The front doors are covered in blood. Words written in it: "WELCOME HOME, SISTER."
I push through.
Inside is a nightmare. Bodies everywhere. Blood on the walls. And standing in the lobby are twelve people who used to be human.
I recognize some of them. A nurse who treated Landry. A security guard. A teenager from my subway line.
All with black eyes. All with too many teeth when they smile.
"She came," one says. A woman who used to be pretty. "Our creator. Our source."
"I'm not your mother." My hand tightens on the blessed blade.
"You made us. You gave us power." The woman steps closer. "And now we're going to thank you properly."
They circle me. Twelve against one.
I should be terrified. Instead, something dark inside me stirs. Excited. Hungry.
I want to fight them. Want to tear them apart.
The corruption is winning.
"Where are the hostages?" I demand.
"Safe. For now." The woman grins. "But they won't stay safe unless you give us what we want."
"What do you want?"
"Your power. Your essence." She spreads her arms. "Consume you completely. Take everything you are."
Behind them, I see movement. Thaddeus and Isolde sneaking through a side entrance. Going for the hostages while I keep these things distracted.
I just need to buy them time.
"You want me?" I smile, feeling my teeth sharpen. "Come and get me."
They attack as one.
I move faster than thought, blade flashing. I cut through the first one. Black blood sprays across my face.
It tastes sweet.
The thought should horrify me. Instead, I want more.
I'm fighting them, killing them, enjoying every second. The darkness inside me is singing. This is what the devil's power really means.
Not justice. Not protection.
Pure, beautiful violence.
I'm laughing as I fight. The corruption is taking over and I don't even care.
Then I see it in a broken mirror—my reflection. Black eyes. Too many teeth. Veins covering my entire face.
I'm transforming. Right now.
Stage Three is complete. Stage Four is beginning.
One of the Hollow Ones tackles me. We crash through a wall. He tries to bite my throat but I stab him first. Again and again. Long after he's dead.
When I finally stop, I'm covered in blood. Panting. Hungry for more.
Footsteps behind me. I spin, blade raised.
It's Thaddeus. He stares at me with horror.
"Cressida?" His voice barely whispers. "Are you still in there?"
I look at my hands. At the blood. At the destroyed body.
"I don't know," I admit. "I don't know if I'm me anymore."
He raises his celestial blade. "Then I'm sorry. But this ends now."
Before he can strike, a scream echoes through the hospital.
Isolde's scream.
We run toward the sound. Find her in a patient room, standing over a dead nurse. Isolde's hands are covered in blood. Her eyes are completely black.
"I didn't mean to," she sobs. "She got too close and I just... I couldn't stop."
She's Stage Four. Fully transformed. Gone.
"No," I whisper. "Not you. Please not you."
Isolde looks at me. For just a second, I see the real her behind the monster.
"Kill me," she begs. "Please, Cress. Before I hurt anyone else."
Thaddeus moves forward, blade raised.
But I'm faster. I step between them.
"No. I'm the one who infected her. I'm the one who kills her."
I raise my blade toward the girl who trusted me. Who wanted to help save the city.
The girl I destroyed.
"I'm so sorry, Isolde."
"I know." She smiles through tears. "Thank you. For giving me purpose. Even if it was only for a little while."
My hand shakes. The blade won't move. I can't do it.
Behind me, something crashes through the window.
A figure lands in the room. Tall. Twisted. Covered in black veins.
Captain Vespera Hale. The corrupt police captain from Isolde's research.
Except she's not human anymore. Stage Four. Maybe beyond.
"The famous Cressida Halloway," Vespera says with a voice like grinding metal. "The devil promised me power if I brought you in alive." She looks at Isolde. "But I'll take the fresh one too. Tasty."
"Stay away from her!" I move protectively in front of Isolde.
Vespera laughs. "Protecting your mistakes? How noble."
She lunges with inhuman speed.
I realize with horrible clarity: I'm not strong enough to beat her.
Not yet.
Not unless I finish transforming completely.
The choice is simple. Stay human and watch everyone die. Or become a monster and maybe save them.
I feel the corruption surge inside me, eager to take over.
All I have to do is let go.
"Cressida, no!" Thaddeus shouts.
But I'm already falling into the darkness.
And it feels like coming home.