Chapter 9

The next morning I awoke curled on my side with Riley curled around me. I ran my fingers lightly across his arm as I thought about what he told me and showed me last night.  

        I felt the muscles in Riley's arm tense as they drew tighter around me, "everything OK?" he rumbled into my neck as he nuzzled me. I shivered and turned to look at him. I studied his face as if it would be the last time I would ever see it. I gave him a small smile and cupped his face in both of my hands.   

        "You know, everything is just fine," I assured him then placed a small kiss on his lips. I then wrapped my arms around his neck and just held on to him. I don't know exactly what I was feeling, but I knew it wasn't bad.   

        We stayed that way for a while, wrapped in each other's arms. We only stirred when Riley's cell rang. He groaned, nuzzled me quickly before answering. I took the opportunity to get up and jump in the shower. I loved to shower, especially now that I could do it whenever I felt like it.  

        By the time I got out, the bed had been made and Riley was dressed. He had dressed in a pair of shorn jean shorts, sneakers without socks, and a tank top. He was in the process of braiding his thick hair when I came out.  

        He looked at me through the mirror. "Get dressed for outside, there is something I want to show you." His tone held something I had not heard from him before. It was like he was eager. He gave me a grin before continuing with his hair.   

        I stared at him a moment before complying. After getting dressed, I stepped out of the closet and saw Riley waiting impatiently for me. He was rocking on his feet while his fingers tapped out a beat on his hips.   

        I couldn't help but laugh. He reminded me of what a little boy must be like when they are getting to do something fun and their parents are taking too long to get ready, or at Christmas when they wanted to open their presents now!   

        He glared at me as he headed out of the room. I heard him yell back at me, "C'mon times a-wastin'.'" I shook my head as I followed him out.  

        He was holding the front door open for me and ushered me through. He took my hand, and we headed toward the gym, but instead of going in, we headed around to the back. I was finally going to get a look at what was in the clearing.   

        There what I saw was the huge clearing that had a ring in the middle lined with wooden posts. It reminded me of the horse corrals I had seen on TV. In the middle of the ring, from what I could see—which wasn't much thanks to my height and the fact it looked like the whole Pack was in attendance—two people were fighting. I winced at the sight of so many people, my anxiety rising. Riley took hold of my hand again, and the anxiety started to recede.   

        As we got closer, the people closest to us parted, allowing Riley and me to reach the front of the horde quickly. There was indeed a fight going on. It looked to be two women. One was Caucasian, and the other looked awfully familiar. My eyes widened, and I looked from the women to Riley and back again in shock.  

        "That's Devie!" I exclaimed loudly enough for several people around us to turn and look at me and chuckle. I blushed. Riley nodded shortly, his attention on the fight. His hand tightened around mine when Devie seemed to take a particularly nasty kick to the abdomen, I winced in sympathy.     

        I jumped when the crowd cheered as Devie did a series of retaliating punches and kicks to her opponent, leaving them sprawled face down and helpless on the ground.   

        I was in awe. I don't know what my fascination was with fighting, but I was definitely fascinated. It would seem that someone that had come from as violent a background as me would want to shy away from fighting. But I didn't want to. I wanted to learn as much as I could and be damn good at it. 

        The blood and gore were not bothering me as much as I thought they would either. Red was just another color to me. The crowd cheered again when it seemed Devie was declared the winner. I clapped enthusiastically along with them. Devie roared and punched the air before heading toward Riley and me.    

        I looked at her in admiration as she got within hearing range, "can I be like you when I grow up?" I asked her, only half-joking. She threw her head back and laughed. Her braids were loose, only a few still in the ponytail she had tried to keep them in. Her face was black and blue with drops of blood. Her tank top was covered in dirt, blood, and who knows what else, and her shorts were even worse. She had cuts and slashes all over, but it didn't seem to faze her. As I watched in fascination, some of the shallower cuts closed up and disappeared.    

        Riley and Devie clasped forearms and laughed. "What is going on? What is this?" I asked. "It is what we call a 'Claw Meet.' We get together every so often to show and test our skills, as well as settle disputes. We have two major ones every year between Packs, but any Were is allowed to participate at the smaller ones. It helps build unity." Riley answered.    

        "It also helps get rid of some of our aggression too. That way, we don't go hunting innocents to get our fix." The Alpha added as he walked up behind us. He had a contingent of bodyguards that cut a wide swath out of the crowd. At a quiet word from him, some of them surrounded Riley, Devie, and me. I just knew it was because of me and sighed.   

        He was dressed as casually as the rest of the Pack, something I hadn't ever thought to see. Following close behind him, dressed nearly identically to Jaime, you could really see the resemblance between them when they were together. Which was something you really didn't see between Fletcher and Riley. The only thing similar between them was their height. Maybe Riley was adopted or something, I thought before shrugging my thoughts away.    

        Jaime smiled and waved at me while Fletcher clasped forearms with Riley and Devie. He surprisingly turned to me and gave me a hug. I stood stiff in surprise for a moment before returning the hug. He was a good hugger, strong and careful at the same time.    

        "Do you fight, Mr. O'Connell?" I asked him. He smiled before answering, "It's Fletcher, and I used to, a long time ago, before I became Alpha. Now Riley does the fighting. The only time I will fight is if we are called to war."    

        "Oh." Was all I could say.   

        I then turned to Riley, "are you fighting today?" I asked him, a bit worried yet excited at the idea. I wanted to see my man in action.   

        He shook his head, "I don't plan on it, unless someone challenges me." I detected a hint of regret and hopefulness.  

        Again all I could say was, "oh."   

        Devie laughed. "You know damn good and well that someone will challenge you and you are looking forward to it. You love these things and can't wait for the next one to happen before the current one even ends."   

        Riley grinned at her.   

        She then turned to me, "he is almost always the last one challenged, and it is always someone young and foolish who thinks that they can take out the 'old man.' But he shows them, leaves them lying broken and bloody on the ground."  

        I stared at her wide eyed, "old man? Do people die during these things?" I squeaked. I'd never really given a thought to his age before, and getting worried at the idea of something happening to Riley.   

        Devie looked from Riley to me before answering my second question. "It's forbidden for someone to kill another during a Claw Meet, though accidents do happen, but it's very rare."   

        I looked at Riley, "You could die out there?!" I exclaimed in alarm. He couldn't die, not when I just found him.   

        He cupped my face, "I will not die out there. Don't worry."   

        I placed my hands over his and looked into his eyes. "If you are challenged, you better not die, or I will never forgive you." He smiled and kissed the tip of my nose. "I promise." I just knew there would be no way I could tell him not to fight. He was too proud, too stubborn, too wolf.  

        We turned our attention to the middle of the ring, where two new combatants were entering. One of the men I had seen working out in the gym several times, the other was new to me, but Riley seemed to know him. The guy from the gym ended up winning the match.   

        There were several more matches throughout the day. Only one of the fights ended up being seriously injured and had to be carried to the Pack clinic. I was assured they would be alright. They just needed help in speeding up the healing process, which the healer Thelma could do.   

        Just when I thought all the matches were over, I saw another person walk into the middle of the corral. He was bulkier than Riley but not as tall, and he had shaggy light blond hair. Somehow I had a feeling he was going to be the one to challenge Riley to a fight, and I had a bad feeling about it. Something about this guy bugged me, and I didn't understand why. I had never met the man before, but he bugged me.   

        Something about this guy made me feel all kinds of wrong.   

        The man stood in the middle of the ring, "I challenge Riley Nakamura!" He yelled. I was instantly mad at this man for challenging my man when I had just found him. If he caused me to lose my mate, there would be hell to pay, I thought.   

        Riley looked down at me, "It'll be alright. Try not to worry too much." He then kissed my nose and jumped the fence and headed to the challenger.  

        I was surprised when Riley and the challenger clasped forearms in a warriors grip, before getting into defensive stances. The challenger moved first and kicked Riley in the stomach, making him double over. He then went to kick him again, but Riley moved out of the way. Riley went on the attack and punched the challenger in the face several times before the challenger ducked and twisted away to behind Riley. He then kicked at the back of his knees, stood up, and hit Riley in the back. Riley fell to the ground, and I shouted something in anger, not sure what I was saying, just pissed that he was hurting my mate.  

        Riley jumped up and turned to face the challenger, surprising him. Riley then came at the challenger with a fury I hadn't seen before and proceeded to pummel and kick the challenger until he was on the ground, groaning. He waited in a defensive stance to see if he would get on his feet, and when he didn't, he raised his hands in the air for a victory salute.   

        I didn't care how it looked. I jumped the fence and ran over to Riley. I wrapped my arm around his waist, and his arm came around my shoulder. I slapped his chest with my other hand, and he winced. I was immediately contrite.    

        I glared down at the man slowly getting to his knees. For some reason, he decided to look up at that moment and met my eyes. I was mildly shocked at his green eyes. I continued to glare at him, though his eyes went wide with shock. He looked to me like he'd seen a ghost. I tilted my head, wondering what had spooked him.  

        He quickly got to his feet, his eyes never leaving mine. He reached out as if to touch me and whispered what sounded like "Sammie" before Riley's growl shook him out of his trance. He gave me one last look before limping away as fast as he could.   

        I was left watching him, no longer with a glare but with a confused expression. What in the world just happened? I wondered. I turned my attention to Riley, "what was that about?" I asked, not really expecting an answer.   

        "One of our fighters, and I didn't like the way he was looking at you," Riley growled through bloody and split lips.    

        I gave one last look at where the man had disappeared before walking back toward Devie and Fletcher, Riley's arm still around me, I decided to push the encounter to the back of my mind for now.   

        Riley himself was walking with a pronounced limp, but by the time we got to the others, he was walking mostly normal. The minor cuts were already healed, and the larger slashes were closing. I was truly amazed at the healing ability the wolves had, that I now supposedly had. Just because I had healed quickly from the wolf attack and the gym incident didn't mean I would heal other wounds like they did, I thought naively.    

        After jumping the fence and helping me over, Riley ripped off what was left of his mangled shirt, and I took the opportunity to admire the view. He gave me a sidelong look as if reading my mind. For a moment, I forgot he could and blushed when I realized where my thoughts were headed. We weren't even in private. I heard him chuckle before turning to Fletcher and grabbing his wrist for a warrior's handshake. I shook my head and noticed a slightly familiar person in the crowd, and I immediately frowned with a low growl. How dare she show up here, and how dare she look at my mate, I thought.   

        Riley turned to me and looked to where I was. He sighed, and he forced himself to look away from Ronnie. "Just look away and ignore her. She is of no concern to us." Riley urged. I took a deep breath, controlled myself as best I could, and looked to Fletcher, who was watching us and Ronnie with an indiscernible look.   

        I turned my attention to Riley and Fletcher as they started talking about the fight and going over key points, then Jaime piped up. "I don't know about the rest of you, but I haven't eaten all day, and there is some mighty good barbecue being made right over there."    

        At that moment, it seemed all of our stomachs were in agreement and growled. We all laughed and started heading to where he had indicated. We sat together, surrounded by members of the Pack. I was introduced to so many of them I couldn't remember them all and could barely keep their faces separate. After a while, they all blurred together, there were so many.   

        There were all kinds of food and festivities. I felt like we were in the middle of a fair or festival instead of the end of fights and challenges. There seemed to be no animosity between those who had fought. The only person I didn't see was the man who had challenged Riley. He seemed to have disappeared completely. I decided to push him out of my head and enjoy myself.   

        Before sitting down to eat, Riley had one of the kids use a water hose on him to wash off as much dirt and blood as he could. He came to where we were sitting and sat down. He laughed when he drew me into his arms, and I got soaked from where my clothing had soaked up the water. I laughed with him and bit his shoulder lightly in retaliation.    

        He leaned close and growled softly in my ear, "later, Sunshine." Goosebumps rose up all over at the promise in his voice.  

        Food was placed in front of us, every kind of barbecue imaginable. There was enough to feed two armies. I dug in and grabbed what I could reach, and with as much gusto as everyone else.   

        Everyone was chatting about the fight and past fights. A lot of them had to do with Devie and Riley, though there were a couple from some old timers that could remember when Fletcher had fought. He sounded like he would have given Riley a run for his money if the stories were true.  

        I heard a chuckle in my head, "who do you think taught me?" was all Riley said.  

        I stuffed my face and listened to every detail of all of the stories. To have been part of this growing up would have been wonderful. The camaraderie, the intimacy, the friendship, it all seemed absolutely wonderful to me. I embarrassingly felt tears well in my eyes at what I had missed all of my life. I mumbled an excuse and got up and ran towards what I thought was home.   

        I heard feet pounding behind me, and I knew it was Riley. I quickly realized I had run towards some woods that were on the other side of the clearing. I stopped and put my back against the tree as tears kept flowing. I did not like this self-pity and envy I was feeling.    

        I angrily wiped at the tears as Riley stopped in front of me. "Ugh! I do not like being jealous. It pisses me off.   

        "So what, I didn't have this as a kid. So what, I was beaten every day while everyone else in the world got to be happy and have family love them. So fucking what!" I yelled, forgetting the people across the clearing had superb hearing. I again wiped at my tears and took a shuddering breath, "I have it now. That's what matters, right?" I looked pleadingly at Riley. 

        He took me into his arms and buried his face in my neck, "Yes, you have it now, and it will never be taken from you. Ever." 

        I wrapped my arms around him tightly, never wanting to let go. He pulled back and looked into my eyes, his own eyes showing love, regret, and anger. "I would give anything to have you not had the upbringing you did. But I can't, so I promise you that I will make it up to you every day for the rest of our lives. I will love you so fiercely that you will forget that bad time and only remember these good times."   

        I started crying all over again, but this time it wasn't because I was sad or jealous, it was because I was happy and had finally found home, and that home was Riley.   

        He kissed me, pushing me against the trunk of the tree. I pulled him closer, completely forgetting where we were.    

        He had his hands under my shirt, caressing my breasts when I heard some laughter coming from behind us. It startled me enough to pull back and look where we were.    

        "We can't do this here." I protested.   

        Riley nuzzled my neck, "no one can see us." He countered.    

        "But they can hear!" I pushed his hands away from my breasts. He sighed and rested his forehead against mine. "We will finish this later, Sunshine." He promised.   

        I straightened my clothing while looking around to make sure no one was looking. Riley grabbed my hand, and we headed back to the others. I ran my fingers through my hair, self-conscious and just knowing everyone knew we had been making out.   

        We were welcomed back as if I hadn't left suspiciously, and no one let on that we were making out, which I was thankful for. Riley and I took our previous seats and continued on as if nothing happened.   

        We were all laughing and having a good time, our meal finished. The children had run off to go play. The teenagers had brought out a boom box and were playing some music while everyone else was chatting and relaxing.    

        Riley and I had turned sideways on the bench, and I was cradled between his legs with my back against his still bare chest. He was sipping on a beer while I was drinking a soda. I had my head on his shoulder, with my eyes closed, just listening to everyone talk when I sensed someone walking up to us. I opened my eyes and looked to see Ronnie closing in.  

        I sighed and knew this wasn't going to be good. She was wearing a pair of shorts so short they might as well be called panties, a tank top exposing her midriff, and a pair of heeled shoes. Why and how she could wear those, I couldn't even begin to guess. She was staring at Riley the entire time she came toward us. She stared at him as if he was gourmet food and she was about to devour him. I immediately felt my wolf start to prowl around in anger.  

        The people around us had gone silent and watchful.  

        Riley didn't even pay attention to her arrival. He just took a sip of his beer and continued talking to Devie. I think he did it deliberately, and I approved. This woman I knew was just going to be a menace.   

        I could feel my ire and wolf growing stronger. Something about this woman made me want to get violent.    

        "Riley, darling. Aren't you going to say hi to an old friend?" She cooed. I couldn't help it, I snorted.   

        He barely glanced at her, and his hand on my waist tightened briefly at my snort. "Hi."    

        She glared at me as if it was my fault he was ignoring her. I met her stare with one of my own. I was not afraid of her, and I was going to show her I wasn't afraid. As far as I was concerned, she was nothing to me, nor to Riley, so I had nothing to fear. She was a has-been, replaced by a newer model. I felt scorn and a hatred I had only reserved for Mother and my sisters. She truly did bring out the worst in people.   

        "I see you brought your..." she paused as if looking for the right word. "Plaything."   

        I couldn't help it, I was sick of her, and she'd barely been there a minute. I stood up. "Listen here, when you speak to Riley or me, you will speak with respect. Learn the proper term. I am his life mate. Not you, never you, you've been replaced by a newer, and very obviously younger model. Go get lost in the Bermuda Triangle."    

        Her, and I think everyone in hearing range's, mouth dropped open.   

        "How dare you, you fucking bitch!" She screeched, and before anyone knew it, she had shifted her hand into a claw and slapped me hard enough in the face to send me crashing into the picnic table, food scattered everywhere. I'd forgotten she could partial shift. I never expected her to get physical, but my wolf had hoped so and tried to leap at the chance to get to her enemy.    

        Riley and several other people were quickly on top of her, restraining her. She wasn't going quietly, but several Pack members finally managed to drag her away.    

        At that time, Riley and everyone's attention turned to me, and again, their mouths dropped. I couldn't figure out why, until I noticed everyone was a lot taller than they should have been. I looked down, and instead of screaming, I howled.     

        I was on four legs!    

        I twirled around and around panicking. From what I could see of my fur, I was brown, black, and gray. My fur was thick and plentiful. I knew I was going to turn wolf, but I thought I still had several days yet to adjust. This was just too sudden for me to get a grip on. I stopped my twirling to look up at everyone. I met Riley's eyes and whined.   

        While I watched, he toed off his shoes and took off his shorts. In the blink of an eye, he was a wolf and at my level. "It's alright, Sunshine. Her scratching you just gave you a double dose of the virus, we'd never expected this, but we can handle it. This is the same thing that would have happened in a few days. Just breathe and look at me." He said to me through our link.   

        I blinked and sat, keeping my eyes on Riley and making sure I breathed. As I calmed down, I saw those that could shift without it being a full moon had shifted in solidarity with me, including the Alpha. I was honored. Here I was, a new person invading their ranks, as not only a newborn wolf, but also as their Second's life mate, and they were already accepting me.     

        I wanted to cry, but all I could do was burst out with a sneeze and a whine. Those that couldn't shift chuckled, and the others wagged their tails.    

        Riley stood and nosed me. "Come, the Pack wants to be with you for your first run as wolf. It's how we bond."    

        The Alpha took point and trotted off towards the woods that Riley and I had been at earlier. Riley nosed me again to get me going, and off we went. Those who had stayed human trotted with us. I guess even though they could not shift, it didn't stop them from wanting to be on my first run. I did notice most of them were armed. I was a bit taken aback, but as I thought about it, it made sense. The Alpha and Second still needed their protection, as did I, sadly.   

        As we got to the woods, the Alpha looked back to make sure we were following. Once he had made sure, he took off, racing through the woods at a speed I didn't think I could match. But as Riley and I took off after him with the rest of the Pack following behind, I realized that even though it was a very fast pace, I could easily keep up.    

        We raced through the woods, jumping over logs, ducking under branches, and even leaping from tree trunk to tree trunk. It was fast, but exhilarating. It was a freedom I had never experienced. My senses were exploding with information, from the bunny hiding in its warren to the squirrel chittering in the tree. The smells of the earth as our paws ran through, the smell of rain off in the distance to the smell of the Pack around me. Everything was enhanced three times as much as when I was human.    

        It was starting to get dark when we finally stopped. I had no idea where we were, but I knew it had to be quite a ways from home. The Alpha stood in the middle of a small clearing, and we all stood before him. He didn't even look out of breath, while I had my tongue out panting. The humans in the group knelt on their knees in respect while the wolves were lying on their bellies.   

        I started to do the same when Riley nosed me. "With this being your first shift and run, this makes you officially part of the Pack. You should show respect to your Alpha by laying with your neck and belly exposed to him. This shows you see him as your dominant and Alpha, and to show your loyalty. The only time you need to show your belly to him is when you first enter the Pack or if you have done something to cause his ire. He will not hurt you, I promise." He assured me.   

        I swallowed and edged closer to Fletcher, scared even though I was told he wouldn't hurt me. I didn't like the idea of being so vulnerable, but I wanted to be accepted, and I truly did see him as my dominant, my Alpha. I just hoped I could do this. Submitting wasn't easy for me.    

        When I got near enough, I laid on my belly before turning onto my back. Fletcher stared at me long and hard before lowering his head and taking my throat into his mouth. I whined, thinking I had been betrayed, and started to panic, but before I could, he withdrew. He moved away a few feet and sat down. He looked down at me with a light in his eyes that looked like satisfaction and approval.   

        I looked from him to Riley and then the rest of the Pack, wolves and humans. These people were now my Pack, my family, and I don't think I could be any happier.     

        "Now come over here and stand next to me. Show the Pack I see you as my equal." Riley told me. I balked. "But I am not your equal! How can you say that? I don't even know if I am submissive or dominant. I just know I am not, as of yet, your equal, if I ever will be." I shook my head and snorted. "I can't be. Not right now." I could sense the hurt I had given Riley, but it was true. I couldn't stand at his side yet. I was just accepted into the Pack, and I still had to figure out where in the Pack I belonged. Everything was so new, so fast, how would I adjust to it, I didn't even know yet.    

        I hope Riley could forgive me, but I felt this was the right way to go at this time. I wasn't ready to be anyone's equal. I was barely ready to show I was submissive to someone like the Alpha.   

        The Alpha took off back the way we had come, heading home. The Pack followed, all except Riley, Devie, another guard, and myself. Riley motioned with his head for me to proceed him, behind Devie, and with one last look of regret, I did. I sensed he did not immediately follow me, and I was a bit hurt by that, but I tried to understand and accept.     

        We were a few minutes away from the clearing when out of nowhere, I heard growling and rustling. For the second time in my life, I was run into. I was thrown from the impact into a nearby tree, my side and back slamming into it, making me whine, nearly knocking me out.   

        I shook my head, trying to clear it from the banging around. I looked up and saw Devie and Riley fighting the wolf who had attacked me. The wolf was white and gray. Somehow I knew exactly who it was. How she had escaped the ones who had taken her away, I don't know. I did know I wanted a piece of the action and tried to get up, but I quickly discovered I couldn't.  

        Riley had jumped on her back and was biting into the back of her neck, while Devie was attacking her hindquarters. Blood was flying everywhere, as Ronnie tried to lodge Riley off of her. He dug in tighter, his paws finding purchase on her back and digging in as well. Devie ended up going for her throat but was bitten on the snout hard enough I heard a crunch. Devie whined and withdrew to shake her head but quickly jumped back into the fight.

        I tried again to get up to help, to get a lick in, but couldn't, and it didn't help that the guard who was with us pushed me back down gently. I didn't think the fight would ever end, even though it was only minutes. Riley finally managed to rip off some of her neck and jumped off of her as she stumbled. He then went in for the kill. While she was distracted for the moment by the wound on the back of her neck, Riley tore into her throat, ripping it out. Within seconds she was dead.     

        I stared at Ronnie's lifeless body, and I curiously felt nothing, except that I wish it had been me who'd killed her. It did not bother me at all to see her with her throat torn out, blood pooling around her. I was more bothered that I hadn't participated. What was wrong with me?   

        Riley stood over her, panting, covered in blood, both his and hers. She had gotten some good shots in before her throat was ripped out.    

        Devie came over to me, having shifted back into her human form. "You okay, honey?" She asked me, unconcerned that there were others, especially men, to see her nudity.    

        I looked up at her with wide eyes.    

        I nodded and whined with pain. The impact had wounded my leg and ribs. The pain was excruciating.    

        I whined again, and suddenly Riley was there. "What's wrong, Sunshine?" he asked. "My right leg and ribs, I think they might be broken," I answered. He quickly shifted back to human and gently picked me up. Even though he was gentle with picking me up, it still hurt enough to cause me to whine again.   

        He winced at my whine but didn't stop. He carefully stood up and took off towards home. The speed was incredible. He took me to a small building attached to the back of the Alpha's home. He walked in without knocking, and I saw that it was actually the clinic.    

        He laid me down on a gurney, and I whined again. The pain was intense, and instead of fighting it, I let myself fall into its blackness.   

        I awoke sometime later in bed. I was once again human. I suppose some time during my blackout, I had reverted back. I wish I had been awake so I could take note of how it was done, so I could do it again.  

        I laid on my back, staring at the ceiling as I took in all that had transpired. It was a lot to take in. I had thought I would have several more days to adjust to shifting, but that was now gone. I found it to be a fantastical thing to do. I loved the running in the woods with the Pack and hoped to do it again sometime soon. There was a freedom to it that I never thought possible.   

        I didn't want to think about what happened with Ronnie, but I couldn't stop myself. I was horrified, yet I wasn't sad to have her gone. I didn't understand why the blood and gore had not bothered me, not even a hint of nausea or disgust. And I was not bothered by the fact I still wished I had been able to participate in her demise. She had been nothing to me.   

        I wasn't fascinated with what had happened to her. I was more uncaring and upset about not kicking her ass than I was anything else. She was nothing, and you can't feel for something that didn't exist, right? What did this say for who I was? I never knew there was this cold-hearted person inside me. Was this something I would have felt before becoming a Werewolf, or was this a side effect of the virus? Am I actually a sociopath? I shuddered.  

        I turned my head toward the bedroom door when I heard someone coming closer. I smiled shyly when I saw it was Riley. I didn't know if he was still upset with me or not.    

        "I'm not upset with you. I thought about it, and I understand completely." He answered aloud. He was carrying a tray full of food. It smelled delicious. He set it down over my lap and came to help me sit up. I was reminded of the first time we had done this, back in the shack.   

        I put my hand on his face, stopping him for a moment on helping me up. I smiled as I studied his face. In such a short time, it had become the dearest thing in my life. "I love you," I told him, and I meant it.   

        His eyes darkened as his face softened. He leaned in and kissed me deeply. I could taste the coffee he'd had and it with my favorite taste, the taste of him. I wrapped my arms around his neck as he laid me back, the sheet getting pulled down enough to expose my breasts to the cold air.   

        He used one arm to brace himself on the mattress, and the other he used to cup my breast. He placed a knee by my hip, banging into the tray. We both groaned as it brought us back to the here and now. He placed his forehead against mine and looked into my eyes.    

        "I am sorry I tried to make you stand at my side before you were ready. I just want everyone to know where you stand with me. That you mean everything to me, and that I see you as equal." He stated.   

        I sighed, "I am sorry I was not/am not ready to stand at your side as an equal. I hope to be there someday soon, but at this moment, I don't see myself as worthy. I hope you can live with that while I figure it out."   

        "I will try." He promised.   

        He pulled back and finished helping me sit up, though his eyes kept straying to my bare breasts, which caused me to pull the sheet up so I could eat without a constant blush.    

        As I ate, he told me about what happened after I had passed out. I had had a break in my femur, thigh bone, and luckily they did not have to re-break it, because by the time we had gotten to the clinic, I had started to shift back, and shifting from one form to another was one of the best ways for a werewolf to heal broken bones. I also had three broken ribs that had nearly punctured my lungs, and I was thankful they hadn't.   

        So Riley had brought me home and put me into bed to finish healing. Only a few hours had passed since everything that had gone on. Riley was making sure I ate because of all the energy that was used to shift twice in a short time period.    

        He told me about Ronnie breaking away from the guards. She had killed one and incapacitated another before running towards me. She, we concluded, wanted to kill me for embarrassing her and for the insult of 'taking' Riley away from her. Her attack made me more determined than ever to learn to defend myself. It wasn't right in my mind that Riley had to defend me from someone out to hurt me. Though I guess I was a hypocrite because I'd want to hurt or kill anyone who was a threat to him. So I guess I understood.    

        Once I was done eating, Riley took the tray with the dirty dishes back to the kitchen to clean. I slowly got out of bed and headed naked to the bathroom. I may have healed, but I was still sore. I wondered if Riley was sore from his kicking ass earlier. I shrugged as I turned on the faucets to a nice hot temperature. I added a little of the bath salts I had come to like and slowly slid into the tub.   

        I laid back and just relaxed, using my toes to turn off the faucets when the water was to the height I wished. I started to doze off again and was, in fact, close to sleep when I sensed Riley enter the room. I opened one eye, then both when I saw he was striding in nude. I admired the sight with a lot of appreciation. He headed straight for the tub, so I moved to where he could slide in behind me. He cradled me between his legs as I leaned my back against his chest and my head on his shoulder. He wrapped his arms around my waist and nuzzled my head.    

        We didn't say a word. There was no need. We stayed that way until the water turned chilly, then we got out. We headed to the bed after drying off, Riley doing the job for me. He seemed to need to inspect every inch of me to make sure I was OK. I had to do the same to him, making sure the injuries he had sustained were gone.    

        We slid into bed, meeting in the middle. He pulled me to him and kissed me like a man who had nearly lost something precious. I didn't think I was in any real danger, I knew with Riley and Devie there I was safe, but I guess seeing your mate crash into a tree would be a scary thing.   

        We made slow sweet love that night. Memorizing each other's bodies like it was our first time all over again. I think Riley kissed and nibbled every single inch of me.   

        He took me to heights I didn't know existed, shattering me into a thousand pieces that I knew could never be put together again. As soon as I sank to the earth, he would start all over. He had me so high so long I didn't think I would ever come back. I felt loved and treasured.    

        We finally fell asleep, exhausted, he had a leg thrown over mine, and his arm around my waist, I had my face tucked against his throat, inhaling his scent.