94
Rowen's POV
The forest air felt too still. Like it knew something was missing.
Brinley’s hand was clutched tightly in mine, her nails digging into my skin as we sprinted across the mossy path, deeper into the woods—toward where Kieran was last seen. Lucian’s office was still echoing in my skull, Brinley’s panicked vision, the flickering golden and black storm where Maeve screamed into the sky. But this wasn’t about her visions anymore. This was real. My brother, Maeve.. Brin they were real..
I know he came out here.. He always comes here to think and train.. I cant even scent him here..
“I don’t feel him,” I whispered as we slowed near the glade. My breath came in shallow gasps. “Brin… I don’t feel him.”
She looked up at me, her emerald green eyes wide with fear, her blonde curls plastered to her temples from sweat. “He’s here. He has to be.”
“No. No, he’s not.” I staggered, knees hitting the dirt. My hands dug into the earth, trying to ground myself, trying to feel him. My twin. My other half. But—
There was nothing. Axel, my wolf, howled in agony in the back of my mind. He thrashed and growled, trying to scent him, to call for him, but there was only emptiness.
Like a cord had been severed.
Like a light had blinked out. I knew he wasnt dead I wouldve felt that, but the feeling of the mental wall.. Its like hes been silenced..
A sob tore from my throat as I slammed my fists into the ground, screaming loud enough to scare the birds from the trees. “HE’S GONE!”
Brinley dropped beside me, her arms wrapping tight around my shoulders as I shook violently. “We’ll find him,” she whispered, voice cracking. “Rowen—we will. We have to. We will find both of them I promise..”
I wanted to believe her. But all I felt was silence where Kieran used to be. The ache vibrated through my ribcage like something had been torn out and left to rot. Brinley cradled my head to her chest, and I let myself fall into her, the pain consuming everything.
We stayed in the forest for hours, untill the tears no longer fell, till every breath i released wasnt shakey. Brin held me. And for that I could never repay her..
\-- One week later --
The North Tower felt like a tomb. Maeve’s dorm had become our headquarters to see if we could plan anything to find them.. Its been two months since Maeve dissapeared and a week since Kieran vanished.. It became also a place we didn’t talk about them, not really. Just silence. Pain. And planning.
Brinley sat cross-legged on the edge of the bed, flipping through old spell books to see if she could find anything for the witches we trusted to find them, her face pale and drawn. I stood by the window, staring at the storm clouds thickening over the mountains. Like even the skies knew shit was falling apart.
“You should sleep,” I muttered at her. Knowing neither of us have slept more than 25 hours combined. maybe two hours maybe a bit more a night. We just lay together in silence. It's comforting knowing we arent alone.
She didn’t look up at me when she whispered. “I can’t.”
“I know.. Me neither. but I wish we could.”
Brinley set the book down, the spine cracking loudly in the silence. She padded across the room towards me barefoot, her eyes shadowed and heavy with grief. She stepped into my arms without asking, like she knew I needed her there. I grabbed her by the waist and just held her.
“I don’t want to think tonight,” she whispered into my chest kissing her way up. “Not about them. Not about what’s coming.”
I tensed. “What do you want, Brin?”
She pulled back, just enough to meet my gaze. “You. Just you. I want all of you.” The look in her eyes knocked the breath out of me—raw, desperate, hungry. Then she straddled my lap, settling over me like she’d done it a thousand times before. Her lips brushed my throat as she whispered, “Let me forget. Just for a little while. I need a distraction.. WE need a distraction”
I swallowed hard. “Now that my brother and Maeve are gone, you wanna jump my bones? Noted.”
She let out a breathless laugh and lightly smacked my arm. “Shut up, Rowen.”
Her hands ran through my hair, and suddenly her mouth was on mine. It was urgent, frantic, like she was trying to drown the pain in every kiss. I kissed her back, my hands sliding beneath her shirt, gripping her waist like she was the last real thing I could touch.
When she pulled back, her eyes were glassy. “Help me forget that the other two people we love are gone. You’re all I have left.”
I froze.
And then I pulled her closer.
She yanked her shirt off first, tossing it across the room. My breath caught. Holy moon goddess above.. She is so fucking beautiful.
Her skin flushed, chest heaving, I could hear her heart pounding like a war drum. I slid my own shirt off with one hand, her fingers already tracing the lines of my back and than my chest.
“I need you,” she whimpered her wolf Raiyna fighting to the surface.
“I’m right here,” I murmured.
I picked her up as she linked her ankles around my lower back gripping me closer to her. My hands rested underneath her. But as I laid her down on the bed, hovering above her, I paused.
“Are you sure this is what you want?” My voice was hoarse. “Because Brinley—once we cross that line... I won’t be able to pretend it didnt happen.. I want this more than you think but should we really be using sex as a distraction? Were both hurt. We are both not in a good headspace”
She hesitated. Then she slid her sweatpants down, never breaking eye contact.
“I want this,” she said. “I want you.”
After she said those last three words I knew.. I was a goner.. I should have waited for us to find Maeve.. and my brother.. but gods did I want her.. and at the end of this.. there is no turning back.