My grandmother and my brother stood in front of the door staring as if they had seen a ghost. I wasn’t surprised considering they hadn’t seen me in five years. I don’t know how long we stood there but it was my grandmother who snapped out of her stupor first and she put on a wide smile.
“Get her bags, Christopher,” she said to my brother and he rushed to grab my box and take it into the house.
She ushered me into the house and I wasn’t surprised to see that it hadn’t changed one bit. The same worn-out couch sat in the living room with the rocking chair that Grandma used to sit on and knit wooly hats for us. The rug still had a stain from where Chris spilled a drink and covered it up and by the time we noticed it, it had dried and stuck.
It even smelled the same. It smelled like cookies and grandma’s perfume and it was just overwhelming. I tried and failed to find something different and I ran my hands through my hair.
“Let me guess, my room is how I left it?” I asked and she nodded. “Thank you.”
“You’re family, Leindra,” she said with a small squeeze of my shoulder. “Do you want anything to eat or drink? Or do you want to freshen up first?”
“I think I’ll freshen up first.”
She nodded and I walked past her and down the hall to where my room sat. It was the last room down the hall and as I pushed it open, I shook my head softly. The walls were painted a dark purple color with various posters of The Coven – my favorite band back then. I was obsessed with them when I was eighteen, and I remembered a time I was pissed off at Grandma for refusing to let me go to their concert.
Absolutely nothing had been touched and I wasn’t exactly sure how I felt about it. I liked the familiarity but it also grated on my nerves because the girl who used to stay in the room was not the girl I was. That girl was sad and she let everyone walk all over her.
I glanced at my box that was sitting at the foot of the bed and I walked into the bathroom to freshen up. The last time I took a proper shower was three days ago when I left the city. I had been surviving by using moldy motels and antiseptic wipes. I spent longer than I should have under the shower but I couldn’t help myself.
I scrubbed my skin until I felt like a newborn again. Once I was done, I wiped down with a fluffy white towel that I found in the bathroom. It felt good to be clean and I changed into a fresh pair of jeans and a tee shirt. It was after I was clean that I realized how hungry I was.
I carefully walked out of the room and when I got to the living room, I saw my grandmother and brother whispering under hushed tones. They saw me and instantly went silent. I couldn’t blame them for the suspicious looks they were throwing my way because when I left, it wasn’t exactly on good terms and now I was coming back as if nothing had happened.
“There’s lasagna if you’re hungry,” Grandma said as she gestured to a steaming plate on the table. “It’s not that we aren’t happy to see you, Leindra, but what are you doing here?”
“I’m here to stay,” I said with a small smile. “Things didn’t... work out how I wanted.”
“It took you five years to figure that out?” my brother drawled and I could hear the bite in his words.
I understood his anger. He was my best friend and I just left without telling him. The thing was, I couldn’t stay, I didn’t know how to. I felt like I was going to go crazy.
“Chris,” I began, but he stormed out of the house.
“I’ll go after him, you should eat.”
Without another word, Grandma went out after him. I ran my hands through my hair wondering if maybe coming back was not the right choice. I watched the door for a while but when I heard raised voices, I knew they wouldn’t be back for a while.
They didn’t return until after I had finished eating. Chris looked a lot calmer and he even sat down next to me.
“I’m sorry for yelling at you,” he said softly and I offered him a smile. “If you want to stay then you need a job. The bookstore in town has a vacancy and I know Mr. Henning liked you so you should check it out.”
“Thank you,” I said and he nodded before standing to his feet and walking away.
I knew it would take a lot to repair our relationship and I was willing to do it. Grandma was looking at me expectantly and I knew she wanted to talk to me but I wasn’t ready for the conversation so I stood up.
“I should check out the bookstore.”
***
She knew what I was doing but instead of pushing, she nodded and gestured for me to walk past her.
The drive to the bookstore took five minutes and just as Chris had said, there was a sign outside for a vacancy. I pushed it open and the bell rang to signify my entrance.
“I’m coming,” I heard Mr. Hemming say from somewhere in the store. “Give me a minute to finish organizing these books.”
I walked over to the counter and he rushed over with a stack of books so high that I couldn’t see his face. He must have tripped over something because the next thing I knew, the books were falling over and I reached over to grab them before they hit the ground.
“Thank you so much,” he began then he paused as he took me in. “Leindra! I didn’t know you were back.”
“I just got back,” I said with a small smile as I placed the books on the table. “I heard there was an opening here. I was wondering if you would have-”
“Yes,” he cut me off with a sigh. “Yes, I will have you. You can start tomorrow if that’s okay.”
I was shocked that he didn’t ask any other questions but then judging by how much of a mess the bookstore was, I wasn’t exactly surprised. I could see at least four stacks of boxes in the back and when I entered, the closed sign was up.
“I’ll see you tomorrow then,” I said and then I turned on my heels and walked out.
The hot air hit my face immediately as I stepped out. As I got into the car, I couldn’t help but glance towards the left where I knew the cemetery lay. I had forgotten how close it was to the bookstore but now that I had realized, I was sure I couldn’t stay in Lunarius long.
The last thing I wanted was to be reminded every day of my parent’s death. I couldn’t do it and I knew what I had to do. I needed a way out and I needed it quickly.