You used me

You used me
Xaren's POV

“Xaren killed your family, Avaris. And then, he became your friend.”

I thought I was ready. I'd gone over this moment in my head a thousand times, thinking maybe I’d say something to soften the truth, maybe I’d find the words.

But nothing prepared me for the look in his eyes.

He didn’t shout, he didn’t ask why. He just stared at me like I was a stranger. Like everything we did together meant nothing now. That look hit harder than any blade could.

I wanted to speak, to say his name, to explain, but what could I say? What would even matter?

So I said nothing. I turned away.

The truth was, I did it all for the witches’ sanctuary. For the only place that ever took me in without question. Nana built that haven with her own hands. A place untouched by the filth of demons or the cruelty of politics.

She gave me shelter when no one else would. I couldn’t stand by and watch everything she worked for be burned to the ground.

And that meant stopping Lucifer. Meant following orders I didn’t agree with. Meant protecting secrets that weren’t mine to protect.

If Azrakel found Avaris first, there would be no stopping what came next. No one survived Azrakel’s fury. Not even Dyvian, and especially not the fragile balance holding our worlds together.

Avaris finally spoke, barely above a whisper. “Is it true?”

I didn’t answer. I couldn’t. The pain in his eyes, the tremble in his voice was already tearing me apart.

He looked at me a moment longer. Then his body sagged, eyes fluttering closed as he lost consciousness. I tried to move toward him, but my legs gave out. I collapsed to the ground beside him, my breath shallow and my limbs useless.

My fingers brushed against his arm, but it wasn’t enough.

“You really do have a flair for timing,” Callum said from behind me, his voice too casual for the wreckage around us. He stepped closer, his hands in his coat pockets, surveying the scene like he’d won.

“There’s nothing to gain from this,” I said through gritted teeth.

Callum crouched beside me. “You still think this is about gain? Xaren, everything is gain. Power. Leverage. Control.”

“He’s not what you think.”

“He’s exactly what I need him to be,” Callum said, calm and maddening.

“You used me.”

He smiled faintly. “I gave you a purpose. You gave me your trust. Let’s not pretend this wasn’t mutual.”

I couldn’t move. I tried, gods, I did. But my limbs were no longer mine. That damn poison Callum had slipped into me was working fast.

I watched Avaris slump sideways, still chained. I wanted to reach him, if only to shield him from this place, from Callum, from myself. But I couldn’t. I had failed again.

“You’ll be alright,” Callum murmured like a priest giving false comfort. “He’ll be here soon.”

My heart sank. I knew who he was. Of course I knew.

Dyvian.

He was going to find out. Everything.

How I’d betrayed him, the only demon that ever truly took me in.

How I’d stood beside Callum, believing we were doing the right thing. Protecting the witch habitat. Guarding Nana’s sanctuary.

I remembered the night I first met Callum, he wore righteousness like armor, a man willing to make hard decisions. Back then, I thought he was… noble. I thought he cared for the kingdom, for peace, for balance, but he was just a bitter man who would do anything to get what he wants.

Now I see it clearer than ever.

Callum never cared for the sanctuary, or the witches, or the fragile alliances we forged. He cared about power, order, and recognition.

The moment the humans failed to give him the praise he thought he deserved, he turned against them. And I didn’t even see it. I walked beside a monster, and told myself we were soldiers of necessity.

“You look like you’ve seen a ghost,” Callum said, pacing lazily in front of me. “Is it starting to dawn on you, Xaren? How little your loyalty ever meant?”

I laughed, my voice bitter and low. “Is that what this is about? Revenge? You think this will make them kneel?”

“I think,” he said, crouching near me, “that this world needs control. Mind you, I'm not talking about chaos or sentiment. I offered the humans' peace, and they gave me suspicion. Mockery. The council never even gave me a seat. But he will. He will listen. He understands order.”

“Lucifer,” I spat.

Callum’s grin widened, satisfied. “You catch on fast.”

“You hated demons,” I growled, rage boiling behind my ribs. “You swore they were the reason the realms fell apart.”

“I hated weakness,” he said calmly. “And I hated how easily humans fall into it. Demons at least understand power. They respect it.”

“You’re mad,” I whispered.

“And you’re slow,” he replied. “But don’t worry. He’ll be here soon. And you, dear Xaren, will finally understand what real vision looks like.”

He stood, turning his back to me, as if I was no more than a discarded weapon. My limbs were cold, my thoughts heavy. But even as my body betrayed me, my mind screamed.

Dyvian will know.

He’ll look at me, and see the betrayal written all over my face.

I couldn’t take it back. Not the blood on my hands. Not the truth I’d hidden. That night, I only meant to strike down Avaris’ brother.

I never meant to kill the others. But I never stopped it either. And I let Avaris trust me, play beside me, laugh beside me. Like nothing had happened.

I was a coward. No excuses.

And if Azrakel finds Avaris first… it’s over. All of it.

I had hoped to rewrite the ending, to atone, somehow. But now, I’ve just added more bodies to the story. And Dyvian... gods, Dyvian.

He’ll never forgive me.

My eyes fluttered. Darkness reached for me like a tide, and I let it. I was tired of being fooled. Tired of lying to myself.

And more than anything…

I was tired of hoping there was still a future where I could make it right.

If Azrakel gets a hold of Avaris, Dyvian would never forgive me. And I would never forgive myself either.