Part 37

A pin drop silence settled over the room, heavy and suffocating. My mouth tasted like bile, and there was a plate full of food sitting right in front of me, fully aware that if I were to take a bite, I would actually be sick and throw up. Ryan was only speaking the truth, albeit at the wrong time.

“Ryan…” Reed sharply exhaled, his hand reaching out to steady my bouncy thigh, mildly applying pressure. “That was out of line. I would like you to apologise….”

“This is bullshit!” The Alpha got louder, fuming, raising from his chair and slamming the napkin on the table. “Every one on this table but you two know the truth! No one wants to talk about it, but I will not accept a degenerate knotwhore as my sister in law….”

“You little fucker!” Rowan launched at him, gripping the edges of his collar. “What the fuck did you say?!”

I wanted to shrink back in the chair, give in to the pressure that was crushing my chest, stop breathing and make all kinds of thoughts flooding my mind disappear. My insides felt sick, tears blurring my vision, but I refused to cry. When I closed my eyes, I saw a blurred face, of that Alpha with his radiant smile and boyish laughter; I still could hear a faint echo of his voice, firm but kind.

The sound of someone yelling snapped me out of my thoughts. I saw that Ryan clutched at his jaw, spitting blood as he wobbled back. His eyes were burning when he lifted his gaze again.

“Rowan!” His aunt Claire cried, rushing to her son and trying to wrap her arms around him.

“Son…are you alright?” Philip asked, worry filling his features as he inspected the wound.

Ryan spat, slapping all their concerns and turning to face me with a hateful gaze. “You are hitting your family for her…that no one?!”

Reed let out a low growl, taking a step further, which shut him, “Take this as an example or a warning, but our decision is final. Like it or not, Erin is going to be our mate. No amount of conspiracies and lies will make us change our decision.”

“That’s enough!” The Luna hissed, silencing everyone. “Reed…” She turned to her son, her jaw clenched tight. “Rowan...Your cousin is merely saying the truth. How many mouths are you going to shut in this manner? There are going to be many more people questioning us. She is the one who’s at fault here.”

As if on cue, it started raining, still grey and dark outside the window, ghastly shadows distorting contours and making the dining room look haunting. I tried to force down nausea and the dizziness and the ever-growing anger, desperate to keep my breathing even.

These awkward silences that stretched on for far too long were starting to grind on my nerves, and I would get up and try to walk off my nerves if I could be sure not to have my legs give out. Now more than ever, I wished to disappear and never resurface, or that I could go back to a certain point in the past and undo everything that’s happened. What was I thinking coming back here?

“Mom stop fuelling Ryan’s pathetic lies for your own benefit….” Rowan huffed, his hand running through the hair and tugging on the locks.

“Are you accusing your mother of lying to you?” She snarled, brows knitting together. “You both have been gone for way too long and do not know the things that happened here. Perhaps if you bothered to ask around before making such a hasty decision, then this night could have been avoided altogether.”

“What are you talking about, mom?”

I couldn’t take it anymore. My nails dug in the flesh of my palms as I shot to my feet rapidly, startling everyone and missing the warmth of Reed's hold on my thighs. The chair toppled over, hitting the floor with a crash, and I nearly tripped over its legs while moving away.

“I-I need some air,” My voice was shaky as I managed to get out before turning on my heels. “Excuse me!”

On the way out, I nearly slipped on the carpet, rattling impulsively at the door leading out the back until the lock gave way. The moment I stepped out, my eyes rolled back, gulping in rapid breaths of fresh air laced with rain.

The air was still fuzzy with wetness, tiny drops suspended around, clinging to every surface. With my arms wrapped tightly around the torso, I made a face at the puddle in front of me. Tilting my head, I could not help but take in the nuances of the grey meeting above. Everything was eerily quiet and cold.

The grass crunched under my feet as I walked across it, startling more than it should. I rubbed my arms and relished the way my skin slowly broke out in goosebumps.

I stopped smack dab in the middle of the lawn and sank down, soaking the dress with damp mud. At this point, I did not care anymore. My head was sitting heavily between my shoulders, and it seemed like the pressure that’s been constantly building up there was becoming too much to bear. It was a struggle to keep it all together, and I didn’t even know where to enforce it. It’s overwhelming, all these sudden revelations in front of the twins.

Maybe I should have told them sooner. What good would that have done anyway? On one hand, I had to save my family, and on the other, hide my past. The second one seemed far too easy and doable if it meant that we could keep a roof over our heads.

For a long time, I sat alone in the garden, rain drizzling softly over my quivering form until my hands were starting to show a soft, bluish tinge, veins shimmering through the skin. Everything felt brittle and frail and so much like a nightmare that I dug my numb fingers into the frozen ground until they hurt until the frost was about to burn my skin. With every sting of pain, I was convinced that this was the absurdity my life had suddenly turned into.

When the second pair of feet walked across the lawn to where I was sitting, I was not as startled as I probably should be.

Reed crouched down next to me when I turned to face him. He let out a curse before hastily tugging off his blazer. He draped a heavy coat over my shoulders, covering my shivering body.

“I wanted to apologise,” He started after a beat, surprising me for the second time that night.

“For what exactly?”

“Everything.” The Alpha reached out and gave me a hand, not even fazed about the messy look. I could not even imagine how pathetic I must be looking at the moment.

“It’s not your fault,” I exclaimed, wiping furiously at my wet cheeks and pushing to my feet with quivering knees. The wet strands clung to the side of my face and forehead as I turned to him.

“No! It is. We should have known that Ryan would act up tonight. He has been sour ever since my mother announced that we will be taking charge as Pack Alphas.” The Alpha elaborated, looking down at his drenched shirt.

I found him hard to read at times. Reed was like two people put into one body; one of them shaped by his parent's upbringing, and the other my childhood friend who’s trying to do what’s right.

“I don’t blame you for that.”

He lifted his shoulders to his ears and dropped them slowly. “You should. I’ve known Ryan all my life. I should have figured he would make up…” Reed made a vague motion with his right hand, obviously mulling over his next choice of words.

And this time, I couldn’t help the snort that slipped out from between my lips; when the sound reached my ears, it was broken off and hoarse and resembled a choked sob. “Moons!” I shook my head. “He’s not in the wrong here, Reed. I-I am the one who should have told you both the truth right from the start. It’s all true. Whatever he is saying.”

The Alpha sucked a sharp breath, a visible strain on his face, but he refused to step back. “O-Okay, but it’s all in the past anyway, so we should all move on….”

It’s perhaps time to head back inside because I couldn’t feel my toes or fingertips anymore, but walking around inevitably meant confronting all that has been said and done. Facing the Luna and the other members made my stomach crawl.

Twisting my head, I saw Rowan standing at the door leading back into the house, socked feet on the small porch, calling my name with a worried expression, but smiling softly when I looked at him. He motioned me to come in. That alone made the corners of my eyes feel wet, and the air didn’t quite reach my lungs when I took it in.

“Can you do me a favour?” I sniffled, pulling the coat tighter around my body.

Reed nodded his head. “Sure.”

“P-Please drop me back home.”

***