Chapter 26 — Finding comfort in pain…

3 years ago

I’ve been here in this place for a week already and I am already on the verge of giving up. I would wake up in the morning, in fact I don’t even know if that’s even in the morning since this place has no windows, eat the same food as yesterday for breakfast then head to my training grounds. Every trainee has one, it was like we have our own torture room.

I only get to meet the other trainees every meal time and our interactions become more depressing as the day passed by. They would share their stories of how they got here and so will I and we would all cry in misery. Some even got insane and would try to attack the guard but he will just be tasered down, beaten up and dragged to his own training room to be tortured for acting up.

Somebody already died during this week and I am starting to think that it would be my turn next week.

“What are you doing, you puny bitch?! Is that the best you got?!” Grumpy Toad barked at me as I was practicing my punches on a punching bag. “Hit it harder!”

I tried to hit harder to a point where my arms felt like they were about to fall off.

“You puny bitch!” he barked again as he pulled me from the punching bag and threw me in the middle of the room where the hand-to-hand combat training take place.

“How will you win if you fight like that?!” he said as he kicked me in the gut sending me sliding across the floor. He went up to me and started kicking me everywhere. I bit my tongue and felt blood gushing out of my mouth.

I couldn’t stand up. I couldn’t do anything. I just kept on yelping in pain.

“Aren’t you going to do anything?!” He said stomping on my back with his feet. “You’re going to die?!!”

Maybe that’s good. I can die and all my pain will go away. Then I remembered my family. I still have to go home.

And so, without hesitation while his other foot was mid-air, I pulled the one he is using for balance which caught him off balance and made him land on his bottom.

“Not bad, puny bitch.” He said with a snicker. “Now, one more time.”

We had a few more rounds of hand-to-hand combat where I would catch him off guard a few times but it wasn’t much since he always gets back up while I would have any more energy to move another muscle. He only stopped when I fainted.

I woke up a to a blinding white light and the familiar calm face of Doctor Warren. In this mad house where people’s faces are divided between going utterly mad, depressed or expressionless, his face was the only one where you can actually see light from it.

“How are you feeling?” Doctor Warren said with a smile.

“In pain.” I muttered under my breath.

“And how would you rate that pain? From 1 to 10 with one being the lowest.”

“20” I simply said which made him chuckle.

“Sometimes, I don’t even know why I ask that question to trainees like you who faints during training.”

“It’s your job.” I said, trying to sit up.

“Stay still, you can’t move.”

“But I have training.”

“I talked to your trainer and he said you could go back to training tomorrow.”

“Tomorrow?” I said in surprise on the fact that I would finally get a break after all this time of torture.

“Yes, now rest.” He said with a smile, I forced myself to smile back even though it hurts before I let myself drift off to sleep.

The next few days my training will go on like that, we would fight in a hand-to-hand combat until I faint. After what feels like a month or two, I was finally able to take him down and he tapped out.

“Not bad, puny bitch.” He said once I helped him up.

“N-Not bad?” I said, trying to catch my breath.

“You never hesitate, that’s your greatest asset, however that will not do you good in missions.” He said with a grim expression on his face. “You have so much anger in your heart that you don’t think twice about your next move.”

“What?” I said in confusion.

“I will prove it to you.” He said as he stepped out the room and when he came back there were six guards trailing behind him.

“Beat her up.” He said which made my heart fell to the ground. I tried to fight for my way against the six guards but I lost miserably, I ended up blacking out.

When I woke up, I was surprised to see the face of Grumpy Toad looking down on me. I felt nothing but agonizing pain all over my body.

“I told you,” he said with a grunt. “When you find yourself in a difficult situation, take three deep breaths and go back to your center.”

What the hell did he just say?

“We will resume the exact same training two nights from now,” he said before heading out. “Be ready.”

…

Four months that’s how long I’ve been here and the only trainee I had gotten close to is Clint who’s now eating dinner with me.

“Lilian.” He whispered my name because we’re not supposed to tell each other what our name in the outside world was, we are just referred to here as numbers.

“Are you in?” he whispered again in a wary tone.

“In what?”

“A couple of guys and I are planning an escape,” he whispered back. “It’s a full-proof plan.”

“Really?”

“Yes!” he exclaimed in a hushed tone. “Come on, join us, we can finally be free!”

I looked at Clint and noticed that his eyes were bloodshot and there were bags under his eyes. He looked like he hasn’t slept in days. His breath smelled foul and so does his body. His appearance and the way he looked at me with so much desperation and excitement made me think twice.

As much as I want to go home and escape this place, something inside me is telling me that following Clint would be suicide.

“I’ll think about it.”

“Lilian, there should be no more thinking about it!” he desperately said with a grunt. This is the first time that I’ve seen him so frantic and angry ever since I befriended him three months ago.

“There’s just so many things at risk, I’ll let you know if I’m in.”

“Okay, here’s the plan,” he said with a groan of frustration. “Two nights from now we will push through with our escape and if you place a sock on your doorknob, it means you are in, then we will come and pick you up.”

“How’s that?” he said in a jittery voice.

“That sounds good.” After that I felt a weird foreboding feeling as I went back to my training grounds.

I do want to go home, maybe I should go? Besides, Clint said it was a flawless plan.

The next day as I was practicing my punches with Grumpy Toad he spoke out of the blue.

“Don’t join them.” he muttered under his breath.

“W-What?!” I exclaimed, stopping my punches but he pulled me aggressively to signal me to continue.

“It’s suicide.” He said again. “You have a potential to survive this if you follow my teachings perfectly.”

I didn’t say anything but I kept in mind what he said making me miss him. When I missed, he kicked me on the shin that made me yelp in pain.

“No mistakes!” he barked. “Again.”

I tried again and after a few punches I missed which caused me to get more punishments from Grumpy Toad.

The next night I woke up to some scuffling outside in the hallway, I walked up to my door and pressed my ears against the metal. For the next three minutes, I heard screams and gunshots and then everything was silent as if the world stood still.

With trembling hands, I opened the door and what I saw outside made me vomit on my feet. It was a bloodbath. There are around ten bodies all filled with bullet holes, sending their blood to splatter on the walls and ceilings.

“GO BACK INSIDE!” I hear someone bellowed. I didn’t have the courage to check it out as I closed the door immediately but before it fully closed, I saw the lifeless face of Clint on the floor.

…

When I got to the cafeteria, everyone was looking more desolate and hopeless than before. I walked up to one table and before I could even sit down one of the guys said “Clint is dead.”

I sunk into my chair, breathing heavily. Up until now I thought last night was a dream.

“They killed them all,” one girl who was sobbing said. “Without hesitation. Without mercy.”

“I can still hear their screams, their begs while I sat on my room listening to them getting chased down and killed on the other side.” A guy with a hollow expression said.

Someone let out a battle cry and around three people charged to the guards holding handcrafted weapons made from shards of glass and cloth. The guards who usually just tasered them, took out their guns and rained bullets on their body.

Everyone in the cafeteria screamed in fear as we all hid under the table when we heard the first gunshot.

“We’ve got a pretty rebellious batch here.” a man’s voice said after the shooting stopped. One by one we started to get out of the table and the three dead bodies who attacked the guards sprawled on the floor with the stench of their blood lingering in the air. Around a dozen people vomited their food. There was even someone who fainted.

I felt nothing but anger when I saw the man who led his men to take me from my home standing a few meters away from me with that annoying malicious snicker of his.

“We have orders to kill on sight anyone who tries to rebel against us.” He said with a taunting voice. “This family hates traitors.”

This will never be my family.

“You want leave this place and go home, right?” Grumpy Toad said that afternoon while I was on the floor doing push-ups.

“Sir yes sir!” I said, running out of breath.

“Then be the perfect assassin.” He said in a firm tone. “Learn how to separate your past, emotions, feelings, desire, goal and intuition from each other. Remember to focus only on one when making a big decision.”

“They say emotions cloud judgements,” he said as he placed a foot on my back. “But for me, disorganized thoughts cloud judgements.”

“Do I make myself clear?”

“Sir yes sir!”

…

I don’t know why I thought of my first memories in that hell hole when I was unconscious. It wasn't the hot light against my eyelids that urged me to wake up. It was the shrieking laughter of a man a few feet away from me. I've only heard that laughter once in my entire life and I almost died after hearing it.

"She's still unconscious, boss." A hoarse voice said in the far-left corner. And then I heard a loud thud as a body fell on the ground a few meters beside me.

"Years of training and you're still an idiot." A brawny voice said in a thick Russian accent. "Open your eyes, whore, I know you're awake."

I slowly opened my eyelids and flinched as I felt the blinding white light force itself into my eyes. As I expected I was chained from neck to toe on a chair in the middle of an empty white room.

Unlike most crime family, our "interrogation" / "torture" room has white floors, ceilings and walls. It was built that way so that these monsters would take pleasure on seeing how much their victims had bled.

"Vadim." I said staring straight into the eyes of the stout tall man who was wearing a blood-colored suit in front of me.

Before I could even take another breath, he slapped me across the face with the back of his ring filled right hand.

"You don't get to look at me like that." He grunted. "You caused quite a stir these past months."

"I could say the same to you, usurper." I mockingly said which earned me another slap in the face. I could feel my blood trickling down my cheeks but I didn't take my eyes off his.

"You've always been quite the stubborn girl among the others." He said, crossing his arms against his chest. "You never give up. You always know what must be done. Also, you never hesitate, Calanthe. Those are the things that made you an important member of the family."

"I'm guessing you didn't bring me here just to compliment me, right?

"You threw all of that away because of a stupid incompetent man!” he bellowed as he hit me again with the back of his palm.

“He was not the reason for what I did, Vadim.” I said before spitting blood on the floor. “You went too far with that new order. You were willing to risk the exposure of the family.”

“Those monsters should go back to hell where they belong. They are the stain that must be removed from this world.”

“They’re human beings, you jerk!” I screamed at his face which earned me a sharp hard kick on the jaw that sent me face down on the floor.

“You ungrateful, whore!” he yelled at my face as he pulled my head up with my hair.” You should be thanking me for not cutting off your head and feeding it to the dogs after you wiped out our greatest soldiers!”

“They’re not soldiers! They are human beings that you deviously remodeled to be monsters instead of letting them die peacefully!”

“You will pay for that little show you pulled out there, whore.” he whispered in a taunting voice.

By the time he was satisfied, I had a hard time hearing with my right ear, my vision was blurry and I could no longer stand on my feet. His men threw me inside a wide dark cell with cement floors and walls. There was a 12-inch-high gap with grills between the ceiling and the wall, just enough to let a small amount of moonlight come through.

I curled up into one corner and quietly cried as I felt nothing but pain all over my body. I didn’t even have the energy to look up when I heard the metal door open. I stifled a cry as I felt a figure walk towards me. I barely had enough time to rest! How can they torture me again?

“Lilian.” I heard the voice from the figure standing in front of me said. There’s only one man in this hell hole that calls me by my real name. Doctor Warren.

I slowly looked up but it was too dark for me to see his face.

“D-Doctor W-Warren?” I muttered in a shaky voice.

“Yes, it’s me. Stop pushing yourself too much, Lilian.” he said in a worried voice as he knelt down. “I heard they took you in from the hospital. And that bastard Vadim already beaten you up when your body is supposed to be in recovery!”

I couldn’t say something back to him because there really was no energy left in me.

“They told me to come here to make sure that you’re not dead yet. Vadim said he’s still not done with you.”

He started cleaning my wounds with his gentle hands like he always did before.

“Don’t worry, I’ll try telling him to let you rest for a couple of days before torturing you again.”

“N-No...I-I..” I stammered, trying to find enough energy to finish my sentence.

“Stop talking and just rest.”

When he said that, I let my eyelids drop and for the first time in hours I felt at peace. I woke up the next day when I felt a sting on my right arm and when I opened my eyes, I saw the same distressed face of Doctor Warren that I often see when he’s working.

“Oh, I’m sorry, did I wake you?”

“How long was I out?” I asked in a hoarse voice. I looked around and saw that there was already sunlight coming from the small gap on the ceiling.

“For almost half a day,” he said with a grin. “I was able to convince Vadim to let you rest for two days before he could hurt you again.”

I looked at my old friend and saw that he had aged for the past months that we didn’t see each other. I know that he’s only a man in his mid-30s but when you work in this kind of business you will age very fast.

“I never got to thank you for always trying to keep me alive.”

Doctor Warren stared at me in disbelief as if my body just morphed into a different one. The sunlight casting upon his face made me realize how handsome he really looks like with good lighting. With his black undercut hair, sharp jaws, pointy nose, pale skin and grey eyes.

“Who are you and what did you do to my Lilian?” he cautiously said with furrowed eyebrows.

“I was never yours, doctor.” I snapped back with a glare.

“There she is,” he said with a chuckle. “I guess that place really changed you, huh?”

“What do you mean?”

“Everyone knows about what happened that night in that school for mutants.” he said in a hushed voice as if scared that someone might hear them.

“Let me guess,” I sarcastically said. “There’s a bunch of men out that door who wants my head.”

“Actually, you’re wrong,” he said before leaning closer to my face to whisper something to my ear. “They want Vadim’s head. They blamed him for everything that happened that night.”

“What?!” I exclaimed in surprise. “Why?!”

“They all think that the family experienced a great loss of good weapons for such a useless cause.”

“Then why didn’t they blame the mutants? Why blame Vadim?”

“Those creatures were reserved for when our family starts and wins the world war III, that was Ivanov’s vision and so did everyone in the family.” Doctor Warren explained. “But when Vadim ordered all of them down to kill a bunch of mutants that could still be used to create more of them—”

“They’re not loyal to Vadim?”

“They’re not loyal to his cause and how he had put the family’s name in danger.” He continued. “Those creatures are our secret weapon and now the FBI and anyone in the government knows about it. They will retaliate, Lilian, unless those people in that school will not go to the authorities which is highly unlikely.”

“That’s true, knowing Alexander, he wouldn’t stop looking for the person responsible for putting his beloved students' lives in danger.”

“Alexander? So that’s the name of the guy you replaced me with.” Doctor Warren teasingly said.

“Oh, shut up,” I said, rolling my eyes at him. “That guy was a complete asshole, let’s not talk about him.”

“Whatever you say, Lilian.” he said, gathering up his things to leave. While he was busy packing up his stuff, I decided to tell him about the file.

“I read my file.” I simply said which made him stop whatever he was doing. “I know the sleeping drugs you were giving me was actually a serum to contain my mutant abilities.”

He let out a loud sigh before looking at me with a crestfallen face.

“I can’t be mad at you,” I said, giving him a warm smile. “I know more than anyone what it feels like to do something you never wanted to do.”

“Where did you learn to do that?” He said, raising an eyebrow at me.

“Do what?”

“Smile.” he said with a chuckle. “I don’t think I’ve ever seen you do that before. Did that Alexander guy teach you?”

“I said, I don’t want to talk about him.” I snapped back before looking away.

“Well in exchange for not being angry at me for lying to your face,” he said as he finished packing up. “Let me tell you about something that’s redacted from your file.”

I curiously looked back at him as he flashed me a grin.

“Based on your brain scans, your telekinetic abilities were only 40 percent of the result of your DNA mutation. Since you quickly left for your first mission, I never did figure out what the other 60 percent was and now I hope that you will.”

After saying that, he swiftly left the room without looking back.

60 percent? What did he mean by that? All of a sudden, I remembered what Alexander told me that one winter afternoon in the greenhouse that there are mutants who could have two mind related abilities. Like how he can read minds and control them as well.

Control, huh? I wonder if that was my second ability. Or maybe it was mind reading.

“Vadim had always been a fanatic of torturing people until they beg for their death, that’s when he’ll kill them.” a voice from the shadows on the other side of the room said. With the morning sun, I realized that the room was divided into two by thick metal bars.

“Who are you?” I cautiously said as I sat up.

“I can’t believe you have forgotten me, my dear Calanthe.” the figure on the shadow slowly stepped into the light and when I saw who it was, I felt my blood boil.

“Why in Satan’s name are you still alive, Ivanov?” I said with a grunt as I slowly stood up to walk towards him.