130. Tell Me Something True
130. Tell Me Something True
Days passed and things were going well. Teddy and I laughed; it was easy. We cuddled on the couch, read, drank, and skinny dipped. Then having a romantic dinner alone followed. It wasn’t with live feeding but fresh blood in wine glasses. A whole spread really. Multiple courses with various different glasses full of different blood types.
“Tell me something true?” I asked Teddy. He looked at me in a way only he could. His white hair was pushed out of his face, not slicked back, but out of his face. His grey eyes were staring intently at me, and it was as if he was looking into my soul. “What kind of truth do you want Beatrix?” I shrugged and smirked.
“Do you want to know that I want to fuck you until you scream so loud that every last soul in Astor Hall hears you come on my cock? Do you want to know how I want my hands all over your perfect flesh. Or do you want something deeper?” He asked my legs unconsciously, squeezed together under the table.
“Do you want to know how I have loved you since I was a little boy. I loved seeing when you learned to control your power. Maybe you want to know that I love every dame spec of you and not just your outside, but your rotten interior. Do you want to know that I loved you when your soul became corrupt, I loved you when I saw you slaughter all those people without even blinking, because you felt so profoundly about your side of the war.”
It was getting harder to breathe; with what Teddy was saying, it was overwhelming me. He wasn’t done through and kept going “Or do you want the truth about me? The truth that I am so fucking sorry for hurting you. I am sorry for breaking into your mind and stripping things I loved and replacing them with hatred. I knew it was wrong; I wouldn’t lie on that. The truth is simple Beatrix, I loved you, coveted you, and when Malachar wanted me to put down, I invented a way to keep you safe and pushed it at him.”
“I was going to save you, at least that is what I told myself. But that wasn’t it. If I wanted to save you, I would have killed you and let you become a martyr for your side of the war, who knows maybe they would have fully risen and won. But I didn’t. I kept you alive, saddled your life with mine, I hurt you. Don’t get me wrong, I love you still, even if you are not the same girl I fell in love with.”
“But the real truth the one you probably need to hear the most Beatrix, is I won’t be doing it anymore. I am going to love you and protect the autonomy you value. I know you never wanted to be a monster, I see it every time I go into your head. I know you better than anyone, better than even myself and the things you value, I know those too. You don’t have them anymore because I robbed you of them. But I promise that I will protect them now, I won’t let you loose anymore of yourself.”
I was crying at this point. I drank the last of my blood and stood walking over to where Teddy sat. I pulled his chair out from the table before I climbed on top of his lap and straddled him. Both of my arms went around his neck. So that my fingertips brushed across the tops of his black wings.
My eyes looked into his “Theodore fucking Astor,” I said my voice staying steady. All of his attention was on me. Maybe it was because I had used his full name. I smirked. “Thank you, and you are forgiven.” He stilled his arms rested on my hips. “You are too good for this world, you know that?” I rolled my eyes. “I am serious Beatrix, you just forgive me like what I did, didn’t condemn your life. You offer forgiveness when you should despise me.”
I relaxed a little on his lap, at his words, turning my head slightly to the side as I examined his sharp features. He really was beautiful. “Kind of hard to despise the man who holds my heart?” He looked at me with confusion. “I mean yes, you did destroy me, that is the truth of it.” I gave him a smirk and waited a second before I went on, just to make him sweat a bit.
“But I know myself well enough to know I wouldn’t ever love anyone who wasn’t my equal in every way, and you Theodore Astor are my equal. I knew it when we were kids, though I would never have told you that. Then we grew up and war came and you weren’t on my side. That has changed though, now you are on my side and my equal, so of course I love you.”
I paused again but not for dramatic effect, just to get my breathing in check. The emotions I was feeling felt heavy and consuming. “Teddy, I forgive you, and despite all the shit we both did, we are together. You are my husband, and I love you, so let's just drop the rest of the crap we have to carry. We are so close to ending all of it, then we can rest. We can age and I don’t know maybe go enjoy the planet or what is left of it.”
“We can go see all the places you wanted to visit but couldn’t because of your wings. We can travel the earth, and feed and just live and then we can die, hopefully at the ripe age of 400 and then we can share a grave, I think I like the sound of that.” His grey eyes searched mine; I was sure he was trying to decide if I was being truthful, and then his mouth was on mine.