Chapter 30

A mountain of gifts still waited for them in the sitting room. Cosette feared to step foot inside, lest the mountain collapse and bury her. She was shocked so many people wished to pay congratulations to their new union. All her life, she’d lived in the shadows. But by Oriel’s side, she could no longer hide away.

Her dearest Oriel.

Who also hadn’t returned yet from his trip to the castle. Hadn’t he said he wouldn’t be gone long? Worry gnawed on her stomach at the hush of darkness outside the window.

“Look, Mama! I’m a bird!” Leif darted into the room with his arms outstretched, climbing on top of chairs and the sofa before hopping down and charging right back out again. She chuckled as she watched him disappear into the next room. No one was certain what Leif’s transformation was, but with his obsession with birds, she thought his transformation just might be one.

Just like Oriel. She shook the unease from her mind and sifted through the gifts. Some household items, a couple of goblets for feasting, a book from Laurel.

Her breath caught when she spotted a painting hidden in the corner, and she approached slowly, her hand flying to her heart. It was a beautiful painting of her and Oriel. Rich colors. Crisp lines. They looked fantastic together, side by side. As she and Oriel had no reflection, she couldn’t know what they looked like together.

And now she knew.

She smiled as she ran her fingers over his image. He was very handsome, and the artist had captured the gentle look in his blue eyes so well.

“Who painted this?” she whispered to herself as she turned the canvas over. To her surprise—and shock—she found it signed on the back by Adam Degore. No note accompanied it, no explanation, only his name.

When had this arrived? And better yet, when had Mr. Degore seen them together?

She had never met Zachariah’s older brother, Willow Ardelean’s mate. And she hadn’t even wanted to until now. Perhaps there was a soft, kind side to the ex-blood hunter she hadn’t known about previously.

Or perhaps Willow had convinced him to paint it after snubbing Oriel as a potential mate.

As she waited for Oriel to return home, she searched for the perfect place to hang the painting and found it in the drawing room where she, and possible future guests, could see it every day. Would it bring a smile to Oriel’s face as it did to hers?

She stepped back to admire it. Gratitude surged through her for such a thoughtful gift.

Returning to the sitting room, she spotted a gift from Luca and frowned. She just knew something highly scandalous lay inside, so she took the gift upstairs to open it in the privacy of her room.

It better not be something scandalous, or I will wring your neck, Luca.

Horror pulled her eyes wide as she unwrapped his gift. The outfit consisted of scanty black lace.

“Oh my heavens,” she breathed. Her heart thundered in alarm at the deep laugh behind her. She immediately dropped the outfit and spun around to find Oriel leaning against the doorframe, a roguish smirk spread across his face.

“Were you changing?” he asked with the most impish look he had ever given her. “Because I would surely like to see what you look like in that.”

She blushed from her head to her toes. She had not realized he had returned home. Otherwise, she would never have opened the gift. A quick reply evaded her in her fluster.

Finally, the faintest squeak escaped her mouth. “You…you want me to wear this?”

So quickly, his expression became serious, his roguish grin falling from his face. “It’s not something we need to discuss right now.” He sighed and stepped across the threshold and into her room. He placed his hands on her arms and looked sorrowfully into her eyes. “Cosette, I need to talk to you about something. It’s quite serious.”

Her heart jolted painfully. “Is everything all right?”

“No.” He shook his head. “No, it’s not.”

She stared back at him with wide eyes and knew whatever had been troubling him ever since they had returned home from their trip lay on the tip of his tongue.

Before he uttered a single word, Leif ran into the room, still imitating a bird as he jumped up on her bed. “Look, Mama! I’m flying!”

“Get down from there,” she said in a stern voice. “You could fall and hurt yourself.”

“But I’m a vampire. Vampires don’t get hurt.”

“On the contrary,” Oriel said as he held out his arms, which Leif jumped right into. Oriel winced. “Vampires are very capable of getting hurt. Just because you heal quickly doesn’t mean you are impervious.”

Leif clutched him tighter around his neck. “What does impervious mean?”

“It means you aren’t invincible.”

“What does that mean?”

He sighed exasperatedly. “It means you can get hurt.”

In his arms, Leif turned to Cosette. “Can I sleep in here?”

Oriel gave her a stern look, though his lips twitched in amusement. “There will be no sleeping in here. If you are to stay, you must sleep in the nursery.”

Hope blossomed within her. “Then have you made your decision?”

“No. I thought I should talk to you about a matter before we decide.”

“Of course,” she whispered, despair washing over her. What was this matter they needed to discuss? And why was it so serious? “I will tuck Leif in and return shortly.”

She gave his hand a gentle squeeze before she took Leif from him and made her way upstairs to the nursery. Leif became limp in her arms even before she laid him on his bed. She kissed his forehead and smiled. Whatever this matter Oriel needed to talk about, they would figure it out, and perhaps then he would agree to keep this wonderful child in their home. As their son.

“I love you, Leif,” she whispered as she slowly closed the door behind her and exited the nursery. And then with trepidation in each step, she made her way downstairs, wringing her hands the entire way before she entered her room once more.

But Oriel was no longer there. She opened their adjoining doors, and to her dismay, she found him sound asleep on his bed, his breathing labored.

“Oriel,” she said, but he didn’t wake.

Letting out a sigh, she carefully pulled off his shoes to make him more comfortable, but he remained asleep. How were they to discuss this important matter now?

“Tomorrow, then,” she said resolutely. “First thing in the morning.”

****

First thing in the morning came and went as Oriel once again slept until noon and wouldn’t wake even when Cosette shook his shoulder. Worry gripped her in his unresponsive state, and she asked Mrs. Chaplin to fetch smelling salts. With salts in hand, she hid her face in the crook of her elbow, her eyes watering at the putrid smell.

She held the vial up to Oriel’s nose. He breathed it in and immediately jolted awake, gasping as he hit the vial from her hands. The glass shattered across the floor, leaving a horrible smell in its wake.

“I’m so sorry!” she gasped, pressing her nose farther into her elbow. “You wouldn’t wake, and I was terrified, and you just look so unwell.”

It was true. He looked most unwell today with dark circles under his eyes, and his breathing seemed to have worsened, not to mention the way he had shivered all night despite covering him with three thick blankets.

He glanced around, eyes unfocused. “What time is it?” he asked groggily. “I don’t even remember falling asleep.”

“It’s past noon.” She produced a handkerchief and dabbed at the perspiration on his forehead. “Oriel, I won’t wait any longer. What did you need to talk to me about—”

Mr. Chaplin interrupted her as he poked his head around the corner and knocked on the doorframe. “Sorry to disturb you, Your Lordship. But Mr. Zachariah Degore is waiting downstairs. Shall I help you dress?”

“No.” Oriel shook his head. He struggled to get out of the bed, wincing as he stood. She clutched her hands to her mouth, willing herself not to cry. She didn’t understand what was going on, but suddenly she felt terrified. What wasn’t he sharing with her?

“I will speak to you after this visit,” he said as he moved past her and disappeared from the room, and only then did she allow herself to burst into tears. Mrs. Chaplin immediately rushed toward her and held her in her arms like a mother might do. She was grateful for the comfort, though for what, she wasn’t entirely sure.

She wiped her tears. “Do you know what’s going on?”

Mrs. Chaplin shook her head. “I don’t. But I’m sure everything is just fine. Would you like to spend time with Leif? He’s out in the gardens chasing butterflies.”

Only yesterday, Cosette would have eagerly agreed, but there were more pressing matters. “Not right now. Can you watch over him? Make sure he stays safe?”

She nodded and made her exit, and only then did Cosette brave the stairs. She listened hard, trying to find Oriel and Zachariah. Finally, she located the sound of their voices emanating from the drawing room. She stood outside the closed doors and listened.

“The good news is it’s only slightly worse than yesterday, which means you haven’t entered the last stage,” Zachariah said. “I’m afraid once you enter the last stage…”

“The pain will worsen.” Oriel sighed, and Cosette clutched her hands to her heart. Pain? What pain? “It’s hardly endurable as it is. I can’t keep warm anymore. I would start a fire in my hearth, but I’m afraid Cosette might become too hot.”

“You haven’t told her yet?”

“I tried to last night. I accidentally fell asleep. It seems I can’t stay awake either.”

Zachariah didn’t say anything for a long moment, and instead, she thought she heard the sound of a quill scratching on parchment. “Count it as a blessing. The more you rest, the slower it will spread.”

She nearly burst into tears again. Spread? What would spread?

“How much longer?” Oriel whispered, and she thought she detected a hint of fear in his voice.

“One day less,” was all Zachariah said in response to his question. He sighed, sounding nearly as tired as Oriel had looked. “I am so sorry, Oriel. I have done everything I possibly can. I’ve studied every book on the subject. Both doctors at the infirmary know of nothing to help. I’ve even consulted Laurel, who knows a great deal more than me. I don’t know what there is to be done. I’m not going to give up, but I recommend you consult Nicolae. He’s been alive a lot longer than either of us. Perhaps he will have wisdom to share. And I recommend you consult him as soon as possible. Today, even.”

“I will,” Oriel replied, and they fell into silence again as she heard scribbling on parchment. “Please give this to Nicolae upon your return to the castle. I will see both Nicolae and Lucian. Dracula, too, if he’s available. It’s time my father-in-law knows what a horrible mate I’ve been to Cosette. He never should have agreed to give her to me. I am afraid I have ruined her future.”

What?

Her mouth fell open in disbelief. Did Oriel truly believe it? But he had been nothing but kind and patient. He was wonderful.

“Don’t say that,” Zachariah said.

“I can’t help it. She could have had a lifetime of happiness with someone else. But by becoming my mate, I have doomed her.”

Blood pulsed loudly through her ears and drowned out the rest of the conversation. Why would Oriel say such a thing? Why did he think he doomed her to unhappiness? Was he leaving? Was he moving away from Ichor Knell and leaving her behind? Or was it something else?

She gasped in surprise as the door opened and Zachariah stepped out.

“Cosette!” His eyes widened as he stared back at her. He opened his mouth a couple of times as if to say something, but he clamped it shut and gave her a look of sorrowful sympathy.

He bowed hastily before retreating toward the front door and leaving in the carriage he had arrived in.

Now she understood. Zachariah was a physician’s apprentice. Oriel was not visiting with Zachariah for social reasons at all. Oriel was sick. No…Oriel was dying.

Cosette slammed the drawing room door open, her expression filled with fury.

“How much did you hear?” Oriel asked wearily as he rested his head in his hand.

She ignored his question and crossed the room, a seething fire in every footstep. How dare he! How dare he keep her in the dark for so long? She wasn’t sure whether to slap him or collapse into his arms and press kisses to his entire face.

“What was he talking about?” she demanded. “What pain? What is spreading? Why do you think you’ve been an awful mate?”

“You weren’t supposed to find out like this,” he whispered, a pained look in his eyes.

Her breath caught at his vulnerability, and her countenance changed. Taking his hand, she sat next to him, their knees touching in what felt like an intimate gesture. She caressed his cheek, looking into each of his eyes to find out the truth.

Of course, she didn’t like what she saw.

“How long have you been sick?” she whispered, moving her fingers to stroke his hair. “You weren’t…you weren’t sick before our ceremony, were you?”

“Absolutely not.” He clasped onto her hands. “Don’t you dare think I asked for an arranged union because I was dying. I never would have done such a thing. I never would have subjected you to a life of loneliness on purpose after I die.”

After I die…

The words rang in her mind again and again, and she hadn’t realized she started crying until Oriel brushed away her tears with his thumb.

“I don’t understand,” she whispered, the words hardly audible through her heartache.

He clasped tighter onto her hands, and she found herself staring at his fingers. They were so gentle yet knew how to create such amazing things like stained glass and wooden carvings. It pained her to think those fingers might never again create beautiful art.

“It happened the night you were taken,” he started slowly, quietly, and she felt a sudden darkness enter the room as she remembered the night vividly. “I had suspected there were unfriendly vampires in the area, but I didn’t want to scare you. I should have listened to my instincts. I didn’t. And we both suffered for it. I trusted Henry. He lured me outside, telling me a boy was injured and needed help. Next thing I knew, I woke up in a witch’s pentagram.”

Cosette’s chin trembled.

“I escaped the circle, but Henry on the other hand…” He took a deep breath and let it out. “I killed him. But not before…” His throat bobbed as he swallowed. “But not before he took what he wanted from me all along.”

Oh no…

She knew what he meant, and he didn’t even have to tell her.

With shaking hands, she lifted his upper lip and gasped. “You’ve been defanged.”

“Yes.”

A whirlwind of thoughts and emotions entered her mind as she pieced together the past week of being home. Oriel’s kisses had felt different, and now she knew it was because his fangs were gone. Zachariah had visited often, and now she knew it was because Oriel needed medical care. And Oriel’s symptoms… The chills, the labored breathing, his frailty…

He had blood fever.

She covered her face in her hands, unable to stop her tears from flowing. She had never known any case of the blood fever to have been cured. It was a death sentence. And from the looks of it, he was very close to death.

“And here I was trying to get you to agree to adopt Leif.” She sniffed, raising her head. “Please forgive me. I did not understand the despairing situation.”

“I so desperately wanted to give you every happiness.” His voice broke, and he looked on the verge of melting. “Please excuse me. I have to see to—”

“Don’t pull away from me,” she said, a desperate hold on his arm. “I think you need me as much as I need you.”

He gazed back at her with immense sorrow and gratitude in his eyes. He reached for her and tangled his fingers in his hair, drawing her close for a kiss. But quickly, his lips trembled against her own, and he broke the kiss as he started to weep into her shoulder. Her heart broke for many reasons. It broke for Oriel’s heartache. It broke for her own heartache. It broke for their tragic situation.

Finally, his weeping died down, and they held each other. She hoped she offered him some sort of solace as he did for her.

“Now I understand why females cry so blasted much.” He chuckled in an attempt at humor. “It feels good.”

Not wanting to spiral them both back into despair, she went along with his tactic as she jested, “I don’t know what you mean. I have not cried a single time since our union.”

“On the contrary! I have seen you cry on at least five separate occasions. At least.”

“You must be mistaking me for someone else.”

“Not unless that someone else is my sister.” He lifted his head from her shoulder and grinned. “Before you, I’ve never known anyone more emotional than Laurel. I think you have her beat.”

She laughed, a sense of relief filling her. She was glad they could laugh and joke even in their trials. “I must become better friends with Laurel, then, if only so we can have crying fits together.”

He gave her a sorrowful smile. “Forgive me for not telling you earlier. I wanted to find a shred of hope before I had to break the news. It seems no hope has been found.”

A shaky breath left her lungs. “What does this mean for us?”

“It’s entirely up to you, my sweet Cosette.” His eyes started to water, though no tears escaped this time. “I am likely to die, but we have not yet mated. I am sure the Diviner can break our bond from the ceremony if you wanted to find another mate to make you happy.”

Panic burned through her veins. “No,” she said resolutely. “No! Don’t suggest such a thing. I would never do it.” I love you. But those three words refused to escape.

“You would live your life in loneliness just to honor a union with me? We’ve only been together for a couple of months. You might have a chance to start over. You might have a chance to be happy.”

She shook her head, her panic still raging through her blood. “I am happy. So very happy. I want to complete our bond. I would prefer to live as a widow as long as I know I am still mated to you, even in the afterlife.”

He swallowed hard and stared down at his hands. “I feel so guilty. Everything that happened… It’s my fault. I wish you would not have to suffer.” He glanced up and finally met her gaze. “I have another property near Alina’s you can live in should you choose not to return to your family at the castle. All I own will go to you, and you can live a comfortable life. And as for Leif… I cannot bear to think of you raising him alone. Can you not understand my hesitance?”

“I understand,” she whispered. All she wanted to do was weep, but she must be brave. For Oriel, who was already going through so much pain and suffering on his own. “But perhaps you can still think about it.”

“We still have a week to decide.”

So soon? Don’t leave me, Oriel. I beg you. Don’t leave me.

“All right,” she whispered. “At least let me go with you to the castle. All three of us. I cannot bear to leave you for a single second.”

He smiled, and suddenly he didn’t appear quite so bleak and weary. She wanted to make him smile more often.

“I would love your company.”