Chapter 22 The Fear Of Myself
Lira
But I barely heard him. The moment the fire died, exhaustion hit me. I swayed, and Kael caught me before I could fall.
"I've got you," he murmured against my hair.
For a moment, I let myself sink into his warmth, into the comfort of being held by my mate. But as my strength returned, so did awareness of what had just happened.
"I killed them," I whispered.
"You protected us," Kael corrected.
"I lost control. I almost burned down half the forest."
"But you didn't." His hands framed my face, forcing me to meet his eyes. "You pulled it back, you chose to stop."
"This time." I pulled away from him, wrapping my arms around myself. "What about next time? What happens when I get angry again, or scared, or—"
"We'll figure it out." His voice was firm.
The word sent warmth through the bond, but I couldn't quite believe it. I'd just proven exactly what everyone feared about moonblood wolves—that our power was too dangerous to be trusted.
"The pendant," Aria said suddenly. "It's glowing."
I looked down. The silver wolf pendant I had gotten from my mother's journal that was kept there for me, glowed around my neck—it was glowing with soft blue light, and I could feel its power working to stabilize my own.
"My mother's legacy," I murmured. "She knew this would happen."
"What else did her journal say?" Thomas asked.
I retrieved the book from where I'd dropped it during the fight. Most of it was family history, genealogies, and records of pack alliances. But near the end, I found what I was looking for.
"The curse is not in our blood. A moonblood wolf cut off from love, from connection, from purpose will always choose destruction over creation. But one who is bonded, who has something to fight for instead of against..."
"She's saying the mate bond is what prevents the curse," Aria breathed.
Kael had gone very still beside me. Through our connection, I felt his understanding and his renewed terror at what that meant.
If something happens to him, I realized, I really will burn the world down.
But there was no time to process that revelation. The sun was setting, and we still had a night to survive in hostile territory.
"We can't stay here," Kael said. "Elias will be back with reinforcements."
"Where do we go?" Thomas asked.
I looked around at the ruins of the archive, at the scattered bones of my family's legacy. Then my gaze fell on a structure in the distance—a broken tower silhouetted against the fading light.
"The old temple," I said quietly. "If there are answers about the prophecy, about what I'm supposed to do, they'll be there."
Kael followed my gaze and nodded grimly. "We move at moonrise. Stay close, stay quiet, and be ready to run."
As they gathered their supplies and tended their wounds, I found myself watching Kael. The bond hummed between us, stronger now after the battle. I could feel his determination to protect me, his growing acceptance of what we were to each other.
But I could also feel his fear. Not of my power—he'd proven today that he trusted me with that. No, he was afraid of what loving me might cost him. Afraid of the choices he might make if I was threatened again.
Two sides of the same coin, I thought. Both of us are terrified of what we might become for the other.
When full darkness fell, we made our way through the ruins toward the temple. Kael led, his wolf senses alert for danger. I walked beside him, acutely aware of every threat.
We were halfway there when I felt it—a familiar presence, watching from the darkness.
"Ryn," I whispered.
A figure stepped out from behind a broken wall. Brown skin, soft eyes, the same face I remembered from childhood.
"Hello, Lira," he said quietly.
Kael tensed, but I held up my hand. "He's my friend. He used to..." I paused, memory flooding back. "You used to smuggle food to me. When Garrick wasn't watching."
Ryn nodded, his face grim. "After Kael killed Brutus and imprisoned Garrick, everything changed. I couldn't stay in that pack anymore, not after learning what they'd done to you all these years."
"How did you get here?" I asked.
"I... I followed you." Ryn's voice was barely above a whisper, the way it always was when he felt uncertain. "I stayed far enough back that you wouldn't notice, but I couldn't just let you go alone."
"Why would you do that?" Kael's tone was sharp, but not unkind.
"Because she's never been outside the pack territory before," Ryn said, his protective instincts overriding his usual timidity. "And because I remembered... Garrick used to drink. A lot. And when he drank, he'd ramble about things he probably shouldn't have. He'd mutter about 'the cursed Silvermoon bloodline' and how they had to keep you hidden. I never understood what he meant until..." He looked at me with those soft, guilty eyes. "Until I saw what you became. What you really are."
"This isn't home anymore," I said, gesturing at the ruins.
"I... I think it might be?" Ryn's words came out like a question, uncertain. "I mean, Garrick always said something about bloodlines and territory rights when he was drunk. Something about how the land remembers its true alpha?" He ducked his head. "I probably misunderstood."
But the words sent a shock through the bond anyway. I felt Kael's wolf stir uneasily at the implication.
"What exactly did he say?" Aria asked gently, recognizing Ryn's need for encouragement.
"He'd get angry and shout about how 'that Ashborne brat' would come back someday to claim what was 'rightfully hers.' Then he'd drink more and pass out." Ryn's hands twisted nervously. "I always thought he was just paranoid, but now..."
"Now that her power has awakened," Kael said grimly, understanding where this was leading.
"I don't want to be alpha," I said quickly.
"I don't think it matters when it comes to bloodline inheritance," Aria said softly. "The old magic doesn't care about our preferences." She looked around at the ruins with a healer's instinct for sensing spiritual disturbances. "Can you feel something here, Lira? Something... waiting?"
I could. Now that they'd pointed it out, I could feel something vast and patient stirring beneath my feet. The territory bond, waiting for me to claim it.
This complicates everything, I thought.
Through our mate bond, I felt Kael's thoughts racing, trying to figure out how to navigate this new reality. Two alphas, mated to each other, each with their own territory and pack to protect.
"One problem at a time," he said aloud, though I could feel his tension. "First we get to the temple. Then we figure out what the prophecy really means."
Ryn nodded quickly, then hesitated. "The temple... Garrick used to warn people away from it at night. Said things gathered there." His voice dropped even lower. "Angry things."