Chapter 114 Her wolf is Gone
Lira POV
"No." She shook her head. "That was you, I just... watched. Admired and waited for you to realize your own power."
"And now you're leaving." I said bitterly. "Right when I finally understand."
"Now I'm completing my purpose." She corrected me. "Protecting you. One final time. Forever."
She stood, pulling me up with her. "It's time. The dark magic is stirring. If I don't take it now, it'll escape."
"Wait!" I grabbed her desperately. "Just... give me a moment. Let me"
"Say goodbye?" She finished. "Lira, we're not saying goodbye. We're saying see you later."
"That's what people say when they're dying." I said.
"I'm not dying." She touched my heart. "I'm transforming. Becoming part of you permanently. No separation or distinction. Just... us. Together as always."
"Promise?" I asked like a child.
"Promise." She kissed my forehead. "Now, are you ready?"
"No." I said honestly. "But I never am. And I do it anyway."
"That's my girl." She smiled proudly. "My fierce, stubborn, impossible girl."
Slight began surrounding her. "Selwyn" I reached for her.
"I love you." She said clearly. "I love you so much, being your wolf has been my greatest honor."
"I love you too." I choked out. "More than words, more than anything."
"I know." The light grew brighter. "Feel it through our bond. Always feel it."
The light exploded outward. I felt Selwyn's essence scatter, chasing the dark magic through the spirit realm.
I felt her catch it. Contain it and consume it, feeling her burn bright and fierce and final. Then I felt her settle deep in my soul, no longer separate. Just... me. I opened my eyes—still in the spirit realm—and felt different.
"She's gone." I said to my mother. "Really gone."
"She's here." My mother touched my chest. "Right here, where she always was. Where she'll always be."
"It's not the same." I whispered.
"No." She agreed. "But it's right and someday, you'll feel that. Feel her sacrifice was worth it."
"Will I?" I asked. "Because right now I feel like I lost my best friend."
"You did." She said honestly. "And that grief is real. Valid. Important let yourself feel it."
"Later." I forced myself to straighten. "First, I need to return. Need to tell Kael. Need to"
"Need to cry." My mother interrupted. "Need to break, need to let yourself feel this loss before you face the living world again."
"I can't." I backed away. "Can't afford weakness."
"Grief isn't weakness." She grabbed my shoulders. "Grief is love with nowhere to go. Let it out here where it's safe."
I shattered. I collapsed sobbing, screaming. Raging at the universe that demanded this sacrifice. My mother held me, rocked me and let me break completely.
"It's not fair!" I screamed. "Why her? Why did she have to die?"
"Because love demands sacrifice." My mother said, "Because breaking darkness requires light. Because your wolf loved you enough to give everything."
"I would've given everything instead!" I protested. "I would've sacrificed myself."
"She knew that." My mother said gently. "That's why she went first. Because you would've fought forever. Destroyed yourself trying to save everyone, she saved you from that choice."
"By making it herself." I said bitterly.
"Yes." My mother kissed my hair. "By loving you enough to let go."
We sat in the fading spirit realm for what felt like hours. Maybe days because time moved strangely here.
Eventually, my tears dried as my breathing steadied. "I have to go back now." I said finally. "Have to tell them, i have to face it."
"Yes." My mother helped me stand. "But know this—Selwyn's sacrifice wasn't in vain. The dark magic is gone. Completely, no more curses, no more resurrections. It's over."
"Small comfort." I said.
"Right now, yes." She agreed. "But someday, you'll feel at peace. The future she bought for everyone."
"Someday." I echoed. "But not today."
"Not today." She confirmed. "Today you grieve. Tomorrow you honor her. The day after, you live the life she died to protect."
"I'll try." I said.
"That's all any of us can do." She hugged me tight. "I'm so proud of you. We all are, Selwyn most of all."
I felt the pull back to my body back to the living world. "Wait!" I grabbed my mother's hand. "When will I see you again?"
"When it's time." She smiled. "When you've lived fully. Loved completely and led courageously, when you've honored every sacrifice by living the life we all died to give you."
"So... not soon." I almost smiled.
"Not soon." She agreed. "But eventually, I promise."
She faded as I returned to my body. I gasped awake on the temple altar, Kael beside me as the pack watched. And silence in my head where Selwyn's voice should be.
"Lira?" Kael touched my face. "What's wrong? You look"
"She's gone." I said simply. "Selwyn, she sacrificed herself. To end the dark magic permanently."
Silence fell over the pack.
"Your wolf?" Aria asked in horror. "Selwyn is... dead?"
"Not dead." I corrected, touching my chest. "Transformed. She's part of me now, no separation."
"You're wolfless again?" Thomas asked.
"No." I felt the truth of it. "I'm whole, she gave me everything she was. Made me complete in a way I've never been."
"But you can't shift." Kael said carefully. "Can't access your wolf form."
"I am not so sure." I admitted. "I think it’s gone but her strength remains." It touched my heart and felt Selwyn's presence. "She saved us all." I looked at the assembled pack. "Gave everything so we could live free of darkness forever."
"Then we honor her." A pack member said quietly. "Honor her sacrifice and courage, her love."
"How?" I asked.
"By living." He said simply. "By being what she died to protect. By never forgetting what she gave."
"Never." I agreed. "Never forgetting, never taking for granted, we should never waste this gift."
Kael pulled me close. I felt Fenris through our bond—grieving his mate spirit but present, he was saved by Selwyn's choice.
"I'm sorry." He whispered. "So sorry you lost her."
"I didn't lose her." I said. "She's right here, will always be here. I just... miss her voice."
"Then speak for her." He suggested. "Let her live through you. Through every choice, word, every action."
"That's..." I paused. "Actually perfect, thank you."