Chapter 109 You Are Not Broken
Lira POV
"It will destroy you if you're not ready." She fixed me with a sharp look. "Body, mind, and soul. The guilt will try to consume you. Make you carry it all."
"How do I stop that?" I asked.
"By refusing to carry what isn't yours." She handed me a pouch of herbs. "Drink this tea three times daily. It strengthens spiritual defenses."
I sniffed it. It smelled awful. "What else?"
"Fasting." She continued. "No food for three days before the ritual. With only water and tea, your body must be light to travel between worlds."
"I'm already weak." I objected. "Fasting will make it worse."
"Physical weakness allows spiritual strength." She corrected me. "Your wolf will protect your body while your soul travels."
"Selwyn." I touched my chest where my wolf lived. "She'll keep me alive?"
"If she's strong enough." Grandmother Ash said carefully. "The ritual will test you both, she may have to choose between your life and the pack's salvation."
"She'd choose me." I said confidently. "She always has."
"Then pray that choice doesn't come." The shaman's expression was grim. "Because if it does, everyone loses."
Footsteps approached. Thomas appeared, breathing hard. "Luna, we have a problem. Kael broke his chains."
I ran. The reinforced chamber was destroyed. Chains snapped, doors torn off hinges and Kael was gone. "How?" I demanded. "Those were silver! Strong enough to hold an alpha!"
"He shifted." The guard was bleeding from a head wound.
"Where did he go?" I scanned for tracks.
"North." Thomas pointed. "Toward the old Silvermoon ruins."
"He's seeking the source." Grandmother Ash appeared beside me. "Where the curse was cast, where Magnus participated in the massacre."
"Why?" I asked.
"To finish what his father started." She said darkly. "Or to destroy himself trying. The guilt is driving him to the place of original sin."
"Then I'm going after him." I started running.
"Wait!" Thomas grabbed my arm. "You're not strong enough for a chase"
"I'm strong enough to save my mate!" I yanked free. "Are you coming or not?"
He followed, along with Aria and a dozen warriors. We tracked Kael through the forest. His wolf prints were massive, driven deep into the earth.
"He's running full speed." Thomas observed.
"Like he's running from something." Aria added. "Or toward it."
We reached the ruins just before sunset, the temple the five alphas had cast their blood magic. Kael stood in the center, still in wolf form. Black veins covered his entire body now, pulsing with dark energy.
"Kael!" I approached slowly. "Come back with me, we can fix this"
His wolf turned, snarling. His eyes were completely black .
"He's gone." Thomas drew his weapon. "The guilt has taken him completely."
"No." I stepped between them. "He's still in there, still fighting."
"Lira, look at him!" Aria pleaded. "That's not Kael anymore!"
The wolf stalked closer, every movement predatory."Kael." I dropped to my knees, making myself small. "I know you're scared. Know the guilt is crushing you, but you don't have to carry it alone."
The wolf paused, head tilting.
"Magnus's sins aren't yours." I continued softly. "You're not him. You've never been him. You're better."
A whimper escaped the massive wolf.
"Come back to me." I held out my hand. "Please. I need you. The pack needs you, we can't do this without you."
The black veins pulsed violently. The wolf shook its head, fighting something internal.
"I love you." The words came easier now. "I choose you. Every day, every moment. Even like this."
The wolf took one step closer then another.
"That's it." I kept my hand steady. "Come home."
His nose touched my palm. Then he collapsed, shifting back to human. Naked, shaking, covered in black veins but conscious.
"Lira." He gasped. "Can't... can't control it..."
"I know." I pulled him into my lap. "It's okay, we will fix it."
"Can't be fixed." He pressed against me. "Too much guilt. Too much darkness. Better if I just... just..."
"Just what?" I demanded. "Die? Leave me? Give up?"
"Yes." He admitted. "All of it, easier than fighting."
"Easier isn't better." I gripped his face. "You taught me that. Remember?
"That was different." He tried to pull away. "You were innocent, I am guilty."
"You're innocent too!" I held firm. "Guilty of being born to the wrong father. That's it. Nothing else."
"I've done terrible things" He started.
"And you're trying to be better." I interrupted. "Choosing better. That's what matters."
"Three days." Grandmother Ash spoke from behind us. "He has three days until the eclipse. After that, the guilt will consume him permanently."
"Then we have three days to prepare." I helped Kael stand. "Together."
"I can't ask you to risk yourself" He swayed, barely upright.
"You're not asking." I supported his weight. "I'm choosing, like always."
We made it back to the packhouse slowly. Kael could barely walk, the guilt literally weighing him down.
"This is my fault." He muttered. "All of it. The curse, the danger, everything."
"Actually, it's Magnus's fault." I corrected it. "And all the other alphas who chose genocide."
"Their blood runs in my veins." He looked at his hands. "Their sins are mine."
"Then we'll purify them." I said firmly. "In three days. During the eclipse. I'll enter the spirit realm again and face whatever guilt remains."
"And if you don't come back?" He asked quietly.
"Then you lead the pack." I met his eyes. "You are the alpha they need, you prove Magnus wrong about everything."
"I can't do that without you." His voice broke.
"Yes, you can." I kissed him gently. "But hopefully you won't have to."
We reached our room. I helped him into bed, then curled beside him. "Tell me about the ritual." He asked. "What you'll face."
"Honestly?" I traced the black veins on his chest. "I don't know. Grandmother Ash says it'll be worse than before, more dangerous and more personal."
"Then don't go." He gripped my hand. "Stay here. Let me carry this guilt alone."
"That's not how this works." I laced our fingers together. "We're bonded. Your pain is mine, your guilt is mine, your fight is mine."
"Stubborn woman." But warmth flickered through the bond.
"Stubborn man." I pressed closer. "We're perfect for each other."