Chapter 219 Struggling with the bond

Chapter 219 Struggling with the bond
Chapter 219

RAVENNA

Darius took my hand gently, his thumb brushing across my knuckles.

"I don't want you to miss your school because of me," he said, his voice firm but kind. "You're just starting. You need this education."

I shook my head immediately. "I don't care about school right now. You're in hospital—"

"And I'll be fine," he interrupted. "Raven, I've had wolf education since I was a kid. Before I even came to the academy. I know all of this already."

He squeezed my hand. "But you don't. You need to learn and be in class."

I opened my mouth to argue, but Torren spoke from the doorway.

"He's right, Ravenna," Torren said, his expression serious. "You need to listen to him."

I turned to look at Torren. "But—"

"Your wolf is spiralling," Torren continued, stepping into the room. "I can see it. You're overwhelmed, barely holding on. You need structure right now more than anything. You need to learn how to fight, how to control your emotions, how to manage your power."

He paused, his eyes kind but firm. "Sitting in this hospital room all day won't help either of you."

I looked back at Darius, my chest tight. "I don't want to leave you."

"You can visit me after classes," Darius said softly. "I'll be here. I'm not going anywhere."

I sighed, knowing they were both right but hating it. "Fine. But I'm coming straight here after my last class."

Darius smiled. "I wouldn't expect anything less."

Back at the academy, I tried to return to some kind of normalcy.

But everything felt fundamentally different now.

The mate bond with Darius was overwhelming in ways I'd never anticipated.

I could feel his emotions constantly—his pain throbbing in my chest like a second heartbeat, his worry making my hands shake, his love wrapping around me like a warm blanket.

It was beautiful and suffocating at the same time.

And I had no idea how to control it.

Whenever Darius was in pain, which was often, given his injuries, it affected me so strongly that my power would spike.

My hands would start glowing. My control would slip.

And the only way I'd found to absorb the overwhelming energy was to hurt myself.

I'd started using the elastic band on my wrist, snapping it against my skin whenever the bond became too much.

The sharp sting helped ground me, brought me back to my own body instead of drowning in Darius's emotions.

But it left my wrist red and welted.

Sam had noticed yesterday and nearly had a fit.

Now she was sitting on my bed in my dorm room, her arms crossed, her expression worried.

"There have to be other ways you can absorb the pain," she said, her voice tight. "Ways that don't involve destroying your own body."

I looked down at my wrist, at the angry red marks circling it. "It helps."

"It's not sustainable," Sam argued. "What happens when Darius is in pain for days? Weeks? You're going to snap that band until your wrist is raw and bleeding?"

Before I could answer, Darius's anxiety spiked through the bond. It's sharp and sudden, like a knife to my chest.

I gasped, my hand flying to my heart.

My other hand started glowing immediately, pale light emanating from my palm.

"Raven!" Sam grabbed my shoulders. "Breathe. Just breathe."

I sat down on the bed, forcing air into my lungs, trying to push the overwhelming tide of Darius's emotions back.

It took several minutes before the glow faded and my breathing returned to normal.

Sam sat beside me, her hand rubbing circles on my back. "This isn't normal. Every other mated wolf manages their bond fine. Why is yours consuming you like this?"

I shook my head, tears pricking at my eyes. "I don't know how to handle this. I don't know what I'm doing wrong."

Sam was quiet for a moment, then said gently, "Maybe you should talk to Moonlight. She might have answers."

I nodded slowly. "That's actually a good idea."

I closed my eyes and reached inward, finding Moonlight in the back of my mind.

"Moonlight?" I called silently. "I need to talk to you."

"I'm here," Moonlight's voice came immediately, warm and reassuring. "What's wrong?"

"Everything," I admitted. "The bond with Darius is overwhelming me. Every time he feels pain or anxiety, it hits me like a physical blow. My power spikes. I can't control it."

"That's normal," Moonlight said gently.

I opened my eyes in surprise. "Normal?"

"You've just gotten your wolf," Moonlight explained. "And you're bonding with another wolf at the same time. Plus, you have an ancient heritage running through you, power that most wolves don't possess."

She paused. "It's completely normal for everything to feel overwhelming right now. You're dealing with more than any new wolf should have to handle."

I let out a shaky breath. "It doesn't feel normal. It feels like I'm losing my mind. Like I don't even know how to control myself anymore."

"You need to go back to your control lessons with Torren," Moonlight advised. "Have him work with you specifically on managing the bond. It's a skill, Ravenna. Like shifting or fighting. It takes practice."

I nodded, even though she couldn't see me. "What do I do when I feel Darius's anxiety spike like it just did?"

"Take slow breaths," Moonlight said. "And visualize yourself in a good place. Somewhere safe and calm. It helps create mental distance from the emotions bleeding through the bond."

"I'll try that," I said quietly.

"There's also blocking the mate bond," Moonlight added carefully. "It's possible to shut it down temporarily. You wouldn't be able to feel Darius's pain at all."

Hope flared in my chest. "Really? How do I—"

"I don't think it's right for you right now," Moonlight interrupted gently. "Not with everything that's happening."

My hope deflated. "Why not?"

"If you block the bond, you might not be able to unblock it quickly enough when you need to," Moonlight explained. "What if Darius is in danger and tries to reach you through the bond? What if you're in danger and need to call for him?"

She paused. "Right now, with assassins targeting your families, with everything unstable, cutting off that connection could be fatal."

I hadn't thought of that. "You're right."

"I usually am," Moonlight said, and I could hear the smile in her voice.

I laughed despite myself. "Am I going to be fine? Not hurt other people the way the Council said? They called me dangerous."

"Don't let other people's words define you," Moonlight said firmly. "They're afraid of what they don't understand. But you're not dangerous unless you choose to be."

"Promise?" I whispered.

"I promise," Moonlight replied. "You won't hurt anyone if you don't want to. Your power responds to your intentions. Learn to control your emotions, and you'll control your power."

Relief flooded through me. "Thank you. It's nice talking to you."

"Anytime," Moonlight said warmly. "That's what I'm here for."

I opened my eyes to find Sam watching me with concern.

"Better?" she asked.

I nodded. "Moonlight helped. She said this is normal for a new wolf, especially with everything I'm dealing with."

Sam squeezed my hand. "Good. Now, what can I do to help?"

"Just... be patient with me," I said quietly. "This is all so new. I'm still learning."

"Always," Sam promised.

Later that day, I sat in my Supernatural History class, trying to focus on the professor's lecture about ancient pack treaties.

But my mind kept wandering back to Darius, to the hospital, to everything happening.

The professor was mid-sentence when Darius's emotions spiked again through the bond.

Not pain this time. Anger. What is happening with him? Furious anger that hit me like a physical blow.

I gasped, my hands clutching the edge of my desk.

And my hands started glowing bright enough that the students around me noticed immediately.

"What the—" someone muttered.

The professor stopped talking, her eyes locking onto my glowing hands.

"Miss Ravenna," she said, her voice carefully neutral. "Is there something you need to share with the class?"