Chapter 137 Letting go

Chapter 137 Letting go
Chapter 137

RAVENNA

Darius turned to the security guard. "Give me a few minutes to talk to them privately."

The guard nodded and stepped back into the corridor.

Darius closed the door and faced us. His expression was serious. Worried.

"I am sorry," he started. "But I need to stop staying here with you both. My father has threatened to harm you if I refuse to leave."

Samantha's eyes widened. "What about us? We will be alone."

"Do not worry," Darius assured her quickly. "I will find a way to ensure your maximum protection. And I will find a way to come visit you whenever I can. You will be locked in your room doing online classes for a while, but I promise I will check on you."

Sam nodded slowly. "We will be fine. You and Dorian stay safe too."

Darius grabbed his bag and started packing his things. Dorian did the same with his belongings. When they finished, Samantha walked over and hugged both of them tightly.

Darius turned to me. He held his arms out for a hug. I just stared at him. I could not make myself move forward. I could not make myself accept the embrace.

The silence stretched out awkwardly.

Darius cleared his throat and dropped his arms. "Right. Well. Take care of yourselves."

"You too," I managed to whisper.

They left the room and the door clicked shut behind them.

Samantha waited until their footsteps faded down the corridor. Then she spun around to face me.

"What is your problem?" she demanded. "Why did you behave that way to Darius?"

I did not answer. I just walked over to my bed and sat down, staring out the window.

Sam followed me and sat beside me. "Are you alright? You look like you are going through a hundred battles in your mind."

"I am feeling troubled," I admitted quietly. "But I do not have anyone to talk to about it."

"I am sorry I have not been there for you properly," Sam took my hand. "But you can talk to me now. Please. Tell me what is going on."

And suddenly, everything came pouring out.

"I never meant for people to die," the words tumbled from my lips. "I never meant for any of this to happen. I just thought it was harmless. That everyone would watch the videos and move on. I did not think it would turn into this."

Tears started streaming down my face.

"I feel so bad for those people who died: the people at the club, the students in the cafeteria, the ones in our classroom, all of them. And I feel bad for even being alive when they are not."

"Raven—"

"If I could rewind the hands of the clock," I continued through my tears, "I would go back and make sure those videos were never released. I would stop myself from ever starting this."

Samantha pulled me into a tight hug. "Do not feel bad. There were good sides and bad sides to what you did. Selene was planning to murder Darius. Caleb was planning to use you. Those things needed to be exposed."

"But people died!"

"I know. But we did not know it would turn out like this. Neither of us could have predicted this war. So, you cannot blame yourself for everything."

I cried harder. "How can I ask for forgiveness? It is eating me up inside. That is why I have been avoiding Darius. I cannot face him knowing what I caused."

Sam just held me and let me cry. "You will be fine. I promise you will be fine."

We sat like that for a long time. Sam rocking me gently whilst I sobbed into her shoulder. Finally, when my tears slowed down, Sam pulled back and looked at me seriously.

"Classes are going to start soon. And hockey practice will resume. I hope we both participate. It will help you forget all of this. Everything will go back to normal eventually."

"I hope so," I whispered. "I really hope so. Because I do not want to keep feeling like this."

"You will not. Time will help. You will see."

Sam stood up and stretched. "I am going to catch some sleep. You should too. Your mind needs to rest properly."

"Alright. Goodnight."

"Goodnight."

I watched Sam climb into her bed and pull the covers up. Within minutes, her breathing evened out into sleep.

But I could not sleep yet.

I grabbed my laptop and opened it. The folder with all the files I had stolen from Caleb was still there. The videos it contained, the documents of evidence. I stared at it for a long moment.

"I do not need this anymore," I whispered to myself. "I do not need to keep it or look at it anymore."

I selected the drafts and deleted them. Then I deleted the evidence of Selene's video. Then I deleted everything else. Every file, document and trace of what I had done.  

Are you sure you want to permanently delete these items? I clicked yes without hesitation and the files disappeared.

I emptied the recycling bin. Then I went through my phone and deleted every message related to the Revenge account. Every screenshot and saved file. I wiped everything clean until there was nothing left that could lead back to me.

When I finished, I felt lighter somehow. A little bit refreshed.

I still had guilt. Still had regret. But at least now I was prepared to start fresh.

I would bury everything beneath me and try to forget it ever happened. I closed the laptop and set it aside. Then I climbed into bed and pulled the covers up.

Just as I was about to close my eyes, my phone buzzed. A message from Asteria. I almost did not open it. Almost just turned the phone off and went to sleep.

But curiosity won out.

You started this war. I see no reason why you should end it now or be bothered by a few deaths unless you are a coward.

I stared at the message for a long moment. Then I smiled.

Not a happy smile. A tired, sad smile of someone who had finally made a decision.

I deleted the message. And then I set my phone down on the nightstand and turned over to face the wall.

"Goodnight, Asteria," I whispered into the darkness. "I am done playing your games."

And for the first time in months, I fell asleep without nightmares.