40

Alice sat at the bar, nursing her second pint, her fingers drumming nervously on the glass. The bar was a little busier than usual tonight, the usual patrons scattered throughout, chatting in loud voices, the clinking of glass and the hum of conversation filling the air. Alice barely noticed. She tipped the glass back, pouring the last few sips of warm, flat beer down her throat and motioned for another. Her eyes were glassy, and she could feel the dull buzz of the alcohol starting to take the edge off her frustration. But it wasn’t enough. Nothing was.

Joseph, the bartender, gave her a sideways glance, his brow furrowed. “Are you sure?” he asked, the concern evident in his voice. “What’s up with you today?”

Alice forced a weak smile, trying to mask the emotional mess she was. She swirled her empty glass in her hand, eyes downcast. “I feel like drowning my sorrows,” she said softly, more to herself than to him.

Joseph sighed, leaning against the bar, his arms crossed. He’d seen her upset before, but this time it was different. There was an emptiness in her that hadn’t been there before. “Oh, babes,” he started, his voice softer than usual, “maybe it’s a good thing he found someone else. You said yourself he was violent—”

Alice’s face fell at the mention of Dave. The memory of him—angry, manipulative, and cruel—was enough to make her stomach twist. But there had been moments, little glimpses of tenderness, that had made her believe he was capable of more.

“But he was nice to me,” Alice whimpered, her voice trembling. Her eyes began to sting, tears threatening to spill again. She quickly blinked them back, but the emotion bubbled up inside her. “I really thought he liked me,” she said, her voice cracking as she clutched the empty glass to her chest.

Joseph softened at the sight of her, understanding her pain more than he let on. He knew better than to push her when she was in this state, so he did what he always did—poured her another pint. But this time, he didn’t hesitate. She must have looked more pitiful than usual if he was breaking his own rule. Joseph had long known Alice’s limits when it came to drinking, had held her hair back countless times when she’d thrown up in the alley after going too far.

“Thank you,” Alice said sincerely, her voice quieter this time, as she wrapped both hands around the glass like an athlete receiving a medal. It wasn’t much, but it was the only thing that seemed to bring any comfort at the moment.

“Drink it slowly,” Joseph warned, his tone protective, but there was little that could slow the downward spiral Alice was on tonight.

Alice nodded, taking a small sip, her gaze focused on the glass in front of her, not really seeing it. Her mind was too consumed with the ache in her chest, the crushing weight of rejection, and the thoughts of Dave moving on. The bitterness of everything that had happened between them—his manipulations, the broken promises—felt like it was poisoning her from the inside out.

As she took another sip, she heard a group of customers walk in, their loud voices cutting through her haze. Of course, it was Alek and his friends. She gave a half-hearted wave at him from across the room, offering a grin that didn’t quite reach her eyes.

“Hey, teach,” Alice called out, hoping the effort to seem normal would be enough.

Alek returned the wave, his easy smile lighting up his face as he sat with his friends. Alice didn’t expect him to speak to her again, but to her surprise, he got up after a moment and walked over, his eyes soft with something that almost resembled concern.

“So… I noticed you didn’t hand your work in,” Alek said as he sat down on the stool beside her. He tilted his head, genuinely trying to figure her out. “Is something wrong?”

Alice felt a flicker of discomfort at the question. It wasn’t that she didn’t want to explain, but there was no easy way to tell him the real reason she was behind on her work. The truth was, she didn’t even know how to explain how she was feeling—how lost she had been ever since everything with Dave fell apart.

“Erm,” Alice started, playing with a lock of her hair as she thought about what to say. “I haven’t had the best time lately,” she said slowly. “Family problems.” It wasn’t exactly a lie, but it was far from the whole truth.

Alek’s expression softened, and his tone shifted to one of quiet understanding. “Well, if you ever need to talk…” he offered, his voice gentle.

Alice blinked in surprise. He was the last person she would have expected to offer a shoulder to cry on, but something in the way he said it made her believe he actually meant it.

“I’ve had my share of family problems, you see,” Alek added, leaning in slightly, as though he were sharing something personal with her. “Things get complicated sometimes, don’t they?”

“Oh,” Alice said, slightly taken aback. “I’m sorry.”

Alek gave a sad smile. “All my own fault,” he said, the hint of regret in his voice.

Alice didn’t know what to say to that. His words were far too loaded for her to unpack in her current state, and she was grateful when he swiftly changed the subject.

“Oh, I meant to tell you,” Alek continued, brightening. “The artist you were looking at the other day—Alex Thorpe? She’s actually an old friend of mine.”

Alice’s ears perked up. “Wow, really?” she said, her eyes lighting up. “That’s amazing! What’s she like?”

Alek smiled faintly as he leaned back in his chair. “She’s… pretty clumsy, actually,” he said, his tone affectionate as he remembered her. “She doesn’t realize how good she is, even with her success. Kind of reminds me of you.”

Alice felt herself blush, the heat rising to her cheeks. “She does?” she stammered, her heart skipping a beat. “No way. I’ll never be that talented…”

Alek’s smile deepened. “You already are,” he assured her, his eyes soft and sincere.

Alice felt her face go a deeper shade of red, her thoughts tumbling over each other. For a moment, she was grateful for the distraction. The warmth from the beer and the pleasant conversation made her forget the gnawing emptiness in her chest, if only for a little while.

As the third beer started to settle into her system, Alice could feel the pleasant buzz of tipsiness creeping up on her. It was a warm, comfortable feeling—one she longed for after a day filled with frustration and heartache.

“I have one of her paintings at the flat,” Alek said, as if on a whim.

“Wow,” Alice gasped, her interest piqued. “I’d love to see it.”

“It’s not far from here,” Alek said, standing and glancing around. “Would it be weird if I showed you?”

Alice hesitated for a moment. Did Alek just invite me back to his flat? she thought, the realization dawning on her.

“Really?” she asked, her voice almost breathless.

“I mean… if it’s not too weird for you. You could come over and have a look,” Alek said, his tone playful but with a hint of uncertainty.

Alice’s heart raced, her mind a whirlwind of conflicting emotions. This is crazy she thought, but she couldn’t help herself. Something about Alek’s charm, the way he spoke, the subtle way he made her feel noticed, made her want to say yes.

“Why not?” she beamed, the alcohol making her bolder than usual.

As they walked to his flat, Alice’s mind raced, her thoughts bouncing between confusion and excitement. The cold night air nipped at her skin, and she had to concentrate on walking straight, lest she embarrass herself by tripping in front of him. It was a strange mix of nervousness and something else, something that felt like hope.

When Alek opened the door to his flat, he gave her an apologetic smile. “Sorry, you’ll have to excuse the mess,” he said as he stepped aside to let her in.

Alice nodded, thinking nothing of it. Most people said something like that when inviting someone over. But as she stepped inside, she was taken aback. The flat wasn’t just a little messy—it was chaotic. It looked like it hadn’t been cleaned in weeks, maybe longer. The clutter was everywhere—dirty laundry tossed in corners, dishes piled high in the kitchen, papers strewn across the coffee table. It was enough to make Alice feel a strange, uncomfortable pang in her chest.

‘This place…’ she thought, looking around. ‘It’s exactly like the flat Dad had when he left Mum.’

Suddenly, Alek wasn’t this cool, collected older guy anymore. He was just another bloke who had failed at family life, who had left behind the mess and tried to start over, just like her father had. The thought made her stomach twist.

As she sipped her wine, trying to keep the conversation light, Alek placed his hand on her leg—close to the knee, not too forward, but still enough to make her uncomfortable. The warmth of the hand was nothing compared to the strange discomfort now pooling in her gut.

For the first time, she noticed the faint lines around his eyes, the tiredness in his expression. How old is he? she wondered, suddenly feeling out of place in his presence.

The moment stretched, and the tension in the air thickened. The hand on her leg was no longer a gesture of reassurance. It felt intrusive, almost predatory. Alice pulled away, the discomfort rising. “I—I’ve got to go,” she muttered, standing up quickly. She didn’t even look at him as she backed away.

Alek stood too, his movements a bit unsteady, almost as though he didn’t fully understand what had just happened. “Sorry,” he said, his voice low.

Alice didn’t trust herself to say anything more. “I can let myself out,” she replied, trying to keep her voice steady.

As she walked past him toward the door, her eyes darted toward the bottle of wine sitting on the counter. Without thinking, she grabbed it and slipped out the door.

Her heart was pounding in her chest as she made her way to the park, where the cold air stung her face. She found an empty bench and collapsed onto it, the bottle of wine pressed against her lips as she drank straight from the bottle, her tears mixing with the alcohol.

She sobbed openly, her thoughts a jumbled mess of confusion, loneliness, and regret. I miss Adam, she thought, her chest aching. Why would you choose someone else over me? What’s so wrong with me?

The night stretched on, the cold and the wine only adding to the storm of emotions inside her. She couldn’t escape it, no matter how hard she tried.